Counting Stars
by GeekBastard23
Summary: Just when Gibbs has settled in his single life after his latest divorce, he meets movie star Tony DiNozzo on a case. Tony/Gibbs Slash. AU.
1. Fake Agents

_**A/N: Hope you're not sick of me, yet. Three posts in a week, I've got too much time on my hands apparently.**_

 _ **Anyway, this is an AU. I've never written anything like this before, so I hope, some of you will like it.**_

 _ **DiNozzo doesn't work for NCIS and this is set vaguely in Season 2 which means that Kate is still on board. I've never written her either, so that's going to be tricky, too. I just needed a more carefree Gibbs for this story that's why I set it this early.**_

 _ **Aaaanywho, hope you like it. It's going to be a multi-chapter story.**_

 _ **Aaaand it's Tibbs, of course.**_

* * *

 **COUNTING STARS**

God, he hated when they ran. Especially, when Gibbs didn't even know why. He had wanted to double-check something the witness to their latest murder had said earlier as they had taken his statement. Something hadn't really matched up, but it wasn't anything that had raised his suspicion at all. Now though with the guy running, it was something else entirely.

He was slowly losing ground on the much younger man as he rounded a corner. Cursing internally, Gibbs tried to pick up his pace, but his knee had been bothering him again lately and it seemed like he'd need a miracle to get the young seaman in front of him. Panting heavily, and idly wondering why he was so out of shape these days (deep down, he knew why, ex-wife #4 and her stupid cooking skills…), he finally rounded the corner the perp had taken and then came to a sudden stop. The miracle had arrived in form of an FBI-agent.

Gibbs didn't know him, but little did he care as he watched the scene unfold in front of him.

"Federal Agent," the man in a blue FBI-jacket and a suit shouted at the seaman, having a gun raised at him. "Hands where I can see him."

"You're under arrest, Petty Officer Granger," Gibbs continued without hesitation as he approached the man and then cuffed him to a nearby rain gutter.

He quickly read him his rights and removed a gun from the man's coat pocket before he turned around to the FBI-agent who had his gun still raised at them and who was grinning from one ear to the other. Furrowing a brow, Gibbs scrutinized the agent. He seemed oddly familiar, but he wasn't one of Fornell's people.

"Thanks," Gibbs finally said, walking towards him. "Agent?"

"Ha!" the other man exclaimed, that shit-eating grin still on his face. "You believed me. Awesome!"

"What?" Gibbs checked back.

"I'm not an FBI-agent. I'm far too good-looking for that, don't you think?"

Gibbs didn't reply immediately, instead he tried his best to remember where he had seen the man before but his memory betrayed him again. He was a bit taller than Gibbs himself, his short brown hair gelled back neatly. What struck Gibbs, though, were his eyes. He was sure he had seen them before. One thing was for clear, though, he was pretty sure he'd never talked to him before. Otherwise he'd probably have beaten that grin right off his face.

"I'm an actor, don't you recognize me?" the man said again, laughing again, but it seemed oddly fake to Gibbs.

"No," he replied stubbornly, even though the penny had dropped a second before. Abby and Kate would be so jealous.

"Anyway," the guy said a little irritated as if it was treason not to know him, which infuriated Gibbs to no end. "I'm shooting this movie down the street."

He pointed towards the far end of the road and Gibbs could only just make out the cameras.

"So what are you doing here committing a crime?"

"What? I wasn't committing a crime, man!" the man cried out, slightly blushing now. "I helped you out! That guy was outrunning you!"

"He was not," Gibbs replied indignantly, even though he knew that he was right. "You posed as a federal agent and you were a pointing a gun at him. Newsflash, that's a crime."

"I… I… but," the man fumbled with his words and for a moment Gibbs was sure that he was not used to being speechless. "Look man," he finally continued. "It's not even a real gun. It's just rubber."

To highlight his point, he bent the gun in his hand and for sure it gave way easily. Gibbs could hear the perp curse in the background, but didn't pay attention to him. He was too angry at the other man.

"Are you stupid?" he cried out now, getting into the other man's face. "Or just suicidal? You can't point a _rubber_ gun at someone who's being chased by a real federal agent. What if he shot you? Would that have been 'awesome', too?"

"No," the younger man replied, his voice sounding a bit rueful now. "That wouldn't have been awesome."

Gibbs stepped back, taking a deep breath. God, he hated people like him, so full of themselves that they didn't even have common sense left. He stared at the man for a moment, realizing that the false bravado from before had given way to barely visible insecurity. He still hid it well, but he was an actor after all. Gibbs had noticed a flicker of something he couldn't quite place in the other man's eyes at the word 'suicidal' before, too. He didn't know what to do with it, however, so he let it drop. It was none of his business anyway.

"Listen," the other man started over again, the confidence back in his voice. "I was just on a coffee run and then this guy kept running at me and then I saw you, obviously some kind of cop… what's NCIS anyway?"

"Naval Criminal Investigative Service," Gibbs spelled it out, grumbling.

"A Navy Cop? Is that a thing?"

"Apparently," Gibbs replied, only just able to hold himself back from cuffing the man in front of him just to keep him from talking.

"Anyway," the actor hurried on. "I thought I could help. I just didn't think it through. I mean I helped you, right? Can't we… like… make a deal? I won't tell anyone I helped you and you don't tell anyone I impersonated a federal agent?"

"I don't make deals."

"Thought so," the younger man said, slightly grinning. "Man of integrity, huh? So, is there any way you won't arrest me?"

Gibbs didn't reply for a moment as he thought it through. He was sure that the actor's lawyers would have him out of jail in no time and really, the guy had helped him after all. Subtly shaking his head, Gibbs wondered when he had turned soft. Maybe he was getting old.

"Fine, I won't arrest you," he finally relented. "But I still need to take your statement at NCIS."

The actor beamed at him and this time it seemed almost sincere. "You know," he said. "Do I really have to come to NCIS? The press would be insane, trust me. You don't want that."

Again, there was a shadow in the man's eyes and Gibbs was already considering other options when he realized that he was most likely being played again. He could see his point, though. Damn it. Before he could answer though, the other man was babbling again.

"There's going to be the yellow press, then there's going to be those who want to help me and those who want to dig up dirt on me. All in front of your NCIS and I assure you…"

"Shut it, DiNozzo," Gibbs snapped, getting highly irritated again, but immediately regretted having said it as he saw the look on the actor's face.

"Ha! So you _do_ know me," he grinned again.

Gibbs sighed. Of course, he knew him, even though it had taken him a moment before. Tony DiNozzo was _the_ movie star at the moment. He was so famous in fact that even Gibbs had seen two of his movies. It had been mindless action flicks but they had been alright. He was pretty sure that Kate and Abby were having regular DiNozzo movie nights.

"Anyway," he finally continued. "We can meet someplace else, too. But it has got to be today or tomorrow. I've got to close this case."

"Alright," DiNozzo beamed. "Here's one of my cards. Just call me later today and we can meet up tomorrow. Filming should be finished by then."

"If you don't…" Gibbs threatened, but DiNozzo cut him off again.

"You'll find me and have me arrested. I got that."

"Good."

With that, Gibbs turned around, uncuffed Granger from the rain gutter and then pushed him down the road towards his car.

"Thanks, Agent…" DiNozzo said. "I don't even know your name."

"Gibbs."

"No first name?"

"Nope. Just Gibbs," he said, never turning around.

"Just Gibbs, huh? Only one name? That's so 90s-model of you," he was shouting now and Gibbs could just hold himself back from turning around.

 _God, that guy._

"Fine, don't say anything. You're handsome enough, though. For a model, I mean. Just have to lose the perp."

Gibbs didn't dignify that with an answer as he stalked towards his car, the seaman still in tow.

It was going to be a long two days.


	2. Fake Glasses

_**A/N: Thanks for your reviews! :)**_

* * *

 **Fake Glasses**

Slightly irritated, Gibbs pushed the button that would end his phone call. He was standing in the elevator and continued to stare at his cell phone for a few moments trying to figure out whether it was more infuriating that instead of having to talk to DiNozzo he had had to endure his overenthusiastic manager and his far too shrill voice or that the actor himself couldn't even bother to talk to him directly. Gibbs sighed and then flicked the switch to get the elevator moving again. It didn't matter anyway. They'd meet up at Gibbs' favorite diner in the afternoon. It couldn't come fast enough. Gibbs was done with the case and he was done with DiNozzo. He hadn't told anyone about his involvement in the case, though, not even Abby. He had wanted to at first, but then figured that DiNozzo probably wouldn't want to have his name all over the agency. For a second, Gibbs wondered why he even cared but then decided it didn't matter. He was overthinking this.

#

"Where are you going, Gibbs?" Kate asked a couple of hours later.

They had mostly been writing reports and Gibbs guessed that she was bored and wanted to tag along. He casted a quick glance at McGee who had looked up at Kate's words but wasn't exactly looking at him. Despite himself, Gibbs grinned. The probie was still too insecure to look him in the eye. He was getting more confident, but he still had a long way to go. Kate on the other hand…

"Just going to take a statement. Should be back in an hour."

"I thought the case is closed?" Kate checked back, already halfway out of her chair.

"It is. Just want to be thorough. There's no need to come with me."

"But…" Kate tried again but Gibbs cut her off.

"You think I can't talk to a witness by myself, Agent Todd?" he said, raising an eyebrow at her.

It worked. She sat down again, sighing loudly.

"Didn't think so," he just said and then walked away towards the elevators, idly wondering why everyone was so annoying today. More than usual.

#

Half an hour later Gibbs checked his watch for the tenth time. Of course, DiNozzo was late. He took a sip from his coffee that was already turning a bit cold and then looked around. There were only two other guests in the diner, an elderly couple that Gibbs had seen a couple of times before, and two waitresses who were talking to each other in hushed voices. The place was perfect for a meeting with someone famous. Here they could be sure that nobody would recognize him and cause a crowd. That was, of course, if he would ever show up.

At that moment a man walked into the diner but once more it wasn't DiNozzo. This one was wearing a dirty old basecap, jeans, a comfy and worn looking sweatshirt and black-rimmed glasses. Gibbs watched him as the guy looked around for a moment and then fixed his glance on Gibbs. He smiled a little and it was only then that Gibbs realized that it was not a stranger but in fact DiNozzo walking towards him. Damn, he had disguised himself really well. Was probably used to it, too.

"Hello, Agent Gibbs," he said as he sat down.

"You're late."

"I know, I'm sorry. My _manager_ ," he spoke the word as if it was something dreadful, "refused to let me go earlier. I would've called but then I realized I didn't have your number."

Gibbs just nodded and then got out a piece of paper and a pen to get started with the statement.

"Ah, old-fashioned, I see," DiNozzo grinned ever so slightly. "I like that. Like in the old movies."

Gibbs didn't dignify that with an answer as he watched the waitress fill a cup with coffee and set it in front of DiNozzo. She then refilled Gibbs' cup, too, all the while never paying attention to who she was serving.

"Anyway," DiNozzo started over as he apparently realized that Gibbs wasn't in a particular chatty mood. "How are we playing this? You're not seriously going to take my statement as it really occurred, right?"

"No," Gibbs shook his head and sighed.

He had thought it over and over but there was no way he could write down the truth. If he did, he'd face an investigation on why he hadn't arrested the man in front of him and that would lead to a couple of other questions that Gibbs wasn't particular keen on answering.

"So, what do I say, then?" DiNozzo asked as he took a sip from the coffee, screwing up his face. He then proceeded to put sugar in it. Lots and lots of sugar.

"You sure, it's sweet enough now?" Gibbs couldn't help but ask as the other man drank again.

"Yep. Perfect," the actor grinned. "I usually have this awesome hazelnut creamer but I don't think this place has anything like that."

He hadn't said it in a derogating way, had probably not even meant it in a bad way, but still Gibbs felt anger bubble up inside of him.

"Place not good enough for you?"

"No!" the other man replied vehemently. "I love it here! You should see the places people take me because they think I like to be surrounded by fancy furniture and even fancier people. Truth be told, I'd rather hang out here than anyplace else. This is nice. Slow. Haven't had that in a while."

"Alright then," Gibbs replied, trying to keep the smile from his face. "Here's what I was thinking. You were on your coffee run when the perp came running towards you."

"That's what happened," DiNozzo replied, grinning at him. "Then what?"

"Perp sees you, thinks you're actually an FBI-agent and just stops running."

"Then, Enter: Gibbs," DiNozzo finished the story, nodding. "Would this work?"

"Yeah."

"Will my name be released in court?"

Gibbs scrutinized the other man's expression for a moment trying to figure out if he wanted it to happen (great publicity after all) or if he wanted to keep his involvement secret. Gibbs finally settled on the latter.

"Not if you don't want it to."

"I'd like that."

"Alright then."

There were a few moments of silence between them and while Gibbs had been dreading this meeting, he realized that the guy wasn't as annoying as he thought he would be. He looked at him for a few seconds noticing that he liked him much better dressed like that than in the suit he had worn the day before.

"Why are you helping me anyway?"

"'Cause you were helping me, too. Plus I'd be in trouble for not arresting you."

"So the guy _was_ outrunning you?" DiNozzo quipped and Gibbs had the fleeting desire to hit him upside the head.

"He kind of was," he relented though, giving him a wry smile.

"He was really young," DiNozzo shrugged like it was nothing. "And I could see your knee was bothering you."

"What?" Gibbs all but spluttered. "How did you know?"

"I was a Phys. Ed. major in college before the acting thing just sort of happened. When you've watched guy after guy dropping out because of one injury or another, you kind of keep a wary eye on stuff like that. Saw it when you were walking away yesterday."

Gibbs just nodded, idly wondering if there was more to DiNozzo than what met the eye. Before he could dwell on it for too long, though, the other man gave him an unexpected smile and for reasons unknown he felt compelled to keep talking to him.

"And I'm out of shape, too," he said with a smirk.

"You're not," the younger man gave back. "I'm pretty sure you just need to get back on track."

"What do you mean?"

"You were a marine, right?"

"Yeah."

"Okay," DiNozzo said thoughtfully, looking straight at him. "Don't say anything. I got this figured out. Then you got married and you let yourself go a bit. Is that right?"

Gibbs blinked before he shook his head. "Nope."

"No? Then what _did_ happen?"

Gibbs let out a laugh which he tried to cover up by taking another sip from his coffee before he answered. "Got married three times."

"Impressive," DiNozzo chuckled. "How did that work out for you?"

"You see a ring?" Gibbs asked and wondered why he was telling the guy in the first place.

"Quite well, then," the other man grinned. "Anyway, all you need is a personal trainer."

"Right," he said, snorting. "'Cause I've got the time for that."

 _Or the money_ , he added in his thoughts, darkly thinking about how he hadn't been so wrong about DiNozzo after all. Maybe he _was_ a well-off privileged idiot.

"Sure, you do," gave back DiNozzo. "All it takes is an hour every day. Going for a run doesn't cost anything at all. You just need to avoid concrete. That stuff's terrible for your knees."

"And I need a personal trainer for that because…?" Gibbs answered, slightly taken aback at the sincerity in the other man's voice.

He wondered why he couldn't read him properly. It usually was so easy, but the man in front of him kept on changing directions every other second, making it hard for Gibbs to follow. Then he realized that he was sitting across an actor. Of course he could do that to him. It was his job. Despite it all, though, there was something about the guy that Gibbs couldn't quite put a finger on. He'd probably never find out what it was exactly. Internally shrugging, Gibbs fixed his eyes on the other man as he drank again.

"You don't," he was saying now, grinning broadly at him with a raised eyebrow. "I was offering my assistance."

"What?" Gibbs asked, not exactly sure what DiNozzo was zeroing in on.

"I'm asking you," he said very slowly as if he was talking to a mentally stunted child before he smiled at him once more. "If you want to go for a run with me. Some time."

"Why?" Gibbs replied before he could hold himself back, realizing too late that he was being rude even by his own standards.

"Because I'd like to," DiNozzo shrugged and for a moment there was the flicker in his eyes again that Gibbs had noticed the day before but once more it was gone too fast for the older man to understand it.

"Why?" he asked dumbfounded.

What was the guy playing at? Was this his way of saying thank you? His way of telling him he was out of shape? His way of making fun of him? He didn't get it.

"You're not an easy man, are you, Agent Gibbs?" the younger man continued with a fake sigh. "I thought it would be fun to go running with a former marine, that's all. I'm in town for a few more weeks for voice-overs and stuff for the movie and I don't really know anyone here who isn't obsessed with my movies or with me or with being an important member of the oh-so-fancy movie industry."

Gibbs shook his head and snorted again. DiNozzo had said it lightly but it was obvious for the trained investigator that Gibbs was that there was seriousness behind that joking manner. He looked at him for a moment before he nodded once because there really was no harm in going for a run with the guy. If Gibbs kept up a good pace he would even be too occupied to talk.

"Fine," Gibbs said in what he hoped was an irritated way, but it didn't seem to work because there was a big smile greeting him on the other man's face as he looked at him.

"Awesome!" the guy exclaimed as he finished off his coffee. "I've got to go now. I'm already late for my meeting with my manager."

Gibbs just nodded as he took out his wallet and pulled out one of his business cards. He handed it to DiNozzo who took it with another smile that didn't seem all _that_ fake. Still, Gibbs had no idea why he actually wanted the younger man to call him.

"Leroy Jethro?" he laughed out loud, pulling Gibbs out of his thoughts. "Seriously?"

"Nobody calls me that. It's just Gibbs."

"Alright then, Just Gibbs," he smiled again as he got up. "I'll give you a call. And thanks again for… you know… the statement thing."

Gibbs just nodded and then DiNozzo was gone, leaving the older man sitting there, not sure what exactly had just happened.


	3. Fake Headlines

**A/N: Thanks for the review, guys! :)**

* * *

 **Fake Headlines**

Gibbs stifled a yawn as he stared at his computer screen, trying to get the letters into focus. Maybe he really did need glasses. They had done nothing but cold cases all day and he was ready for a fresh one by now, even if that meant that somebody had to die first. He internally cringed at the thought. He took a look at his cell phone and realized that there were no missed calls but that it was only a little after two o'clock in the afternoon. Grabbing his badge and gun, he stood up and then made his way to the elevators. Maybe a cup of coffee would wake him up.

Half an hour later he reappeared, noting that Kate wasn't at her desk anymore.

"Probie," he said briskly, causing McGee to jump. "Where's Kate?"

"Uh," he started. "She went down to Abby's lab."

"Why?"

"Uhm… I don't know?"

Gibbs sighed and then fixed McGee with an icy stare. "If you're going to lie to me, McGee, don't phrase your statements as questions. So, again, why is Kate with Abby when she should be working?"

"They are talking about tonight. They want to go see the newest Tony DiNozzo flick. He's playing a football star who…"

Gibbs could only just suppress a grin as McGee trailed off, apparently having realized that none of it was any interest to his boss. Gibbs just nodded and then glanced at Kate's desk as something too colorful to be work-related caught his eye. He picked up the magazine and looked at DiNozzo's familiar face on the cover. He was wearing a tailored dark blue suit as he sat on the edge of a swimming pool, his bare feet dipped into it. Gibbs shook his head. Why would you do a photoshoot like that? DiNozzo was smiling broadly at the camera, one of these fake smiles that Gibbs had already seen before. What really caught his eye, though, was the headline.

 _DiNozzo – Womanizer Deluxe. Relationship with supermodel only lasts a few weeks!_

Gibbs grabbed the magazine and then stashed it in his own desk as Kate took that exact moment to come back from the lab. She didn't bother explaining where she had been but Gibbs was sure that he'd get the chance to chide her for it soon. And indeed it was only a few minutes before he could see her rummage through the drawers of her desk. He let her search for a while before he cleared his throat loudly.

"Lose something, Todd?"

"Yeah. I had this magazine here. I bought it this morning to read tonight. But now I can't find it."

"Interested in Tony DiNozzo's love life, are you?"

Kate looked up at him and not without satisfaction Gibbs noted her slightly pink cheeks.

"How…," she started, clearly wrestling for words. "How do you know who Tony DiNozzo is?"

"Contrary to what Abby has made you believe, I do not live under a rock. And now go back to work or I'll make you work until you miss that movie tonight, too."

"On it, Gibbs," Kate just mumbled and then turned to open another cold case file but not before she threw a deadly glance at McGee who instantly turned red in the face.

Gibbs let out a sigh wondering what he had done wrong to get this kindergarten of a team.

#

It was a couple of hours later that McGee and Kate left for the day. No new case had turned up as of yet and Gibbs had the strong suspicion that none would show up that day. He looked around and realized that the bullpen was almost empty. Only Balboa was still sitting at his desk at the far end of the room. He should probably go home, too, but another take-out dinner and his boat didn't hold much appeal tonight. Gibbs idly wondered why that was.

He opened his drawer to get out his badge after all when his eyes landed on Kate's magazine again. He picked it up and then thumbed through it, wondering why Kate of all people would read such trash. She was a professional federal agent and not some fourteen year old girl. He stopped short, though, when his glance reached the DiNozzo article. He had apparently left his girl of the month, a Brazilian model who Gibbs had never even heard of. He didn't bother reading the whole article, knowing that probably not even half of it was true. He still felt a bit funny though when he took a look at the photos the magazine had posted. They all showed DiNozzo with different women, all of whom he had allegedly dated over the course of the last year.  
He hadn't taken the guy for a playboy like that. But then again, why hadn't he? The man was undeniably good-looking, he had money and was a famous action star. Of course he could probably get every girl in the world.

Shaking his head, Gibbs dumped the magazine in the trash and then finally gathered his things and was just about to leave the office when his cell started ringing. He checked the number but it was blocked. So at least it wasn't dispatch.

"Gibbs," he answered.

"Hi, this is Tony… DiNozzo," a voice reached his ear and Gibbs looked around making sure that he was still alone.

He quickly made his way to elevators, glad that there was already one on his level. He stepped in and then waited for DiNozzo to go on talking.

"I was wondering," the younger man did him the favor. "If you're free this evening?"

"I am."

"Awesome. Do you want to go for that run?"

"Sure," Gibbs replied. "Where do you want to go?"

"How about Rock Creek Park? I could meet you at Blagden Avenue."

"Sounds good. 1900?"

"Very military," DiNozzo said and Gibbs could almost see the smirk on his face. "I'll be there."

#

When Gibbs walked over to their stomping ground he had expected DiNozzo a) being too late and b) wearing some kind of designer attire. He was disappointed though. DiNozzo was already waiting there for him, wearing the same basecap from the day before, a black hoodie that spelled _Live Faster_ on the front and what looked to be very old grey sweatpants.

"You ready?" he said in lieu of a greeting.

"Always," the guy grinned. "I'll go easy on you."

Gibbs just snorted and then without stretching just started to run.

He could hear DiNozzo shout something after him that sounded suspiciously like "Cheater", but he didn't turn back. He'd make him work for it.

It didn't take long, though, for DiNozzo to catch up and set his own pace which had Gibbs breathe heavily after a couple of minutes. He kept up, though, and was mildly satisfied that the running really did the trick of shutting up the other man. They jogged in companionable silence and Gibbs realized after a while that this was probably why DiNozzo had wanted to meet up with him. He would have bet all of his belongings that the other man never got a chance to just have his quiet for a while.

An hour later Gibbs plopped down on a nearby park bench with DiNozzo following his lead. He knew he should stretch first, but he couldn't bother. He was sweating and his muscles were already starting to feel sore. He chanced a glance at the younger man next to him and then grinned as he realized that the guy didn't look much better than he felt.

"That was good," he said and meaning it, too.

"It was. Not bad, man."

"Right back at you."

"Yeah," DiNozzo laughed and then ran a hand over his face. "I never get to do this. I usually just run on the treadmill. This is so much better."

"Why don't you do it more often then?"

"Never have the time," he answered and he sounded almost sad about it which in return made Gibbs look at him a little more closely. "And when I do… there's always so many people around, you know."

"How come you're alone today?"

"I got this awesome back door in my condo here. No chance for anyone to see me leave the house. That's why I love being here in DC."

"You here often?"

"Whenever I can," DiNozzo said. "Which is like three weeks every year. I'm mostly shooting my movies in LA and while I love the sun and all, it's nice to be here from time to time. Everything seems a little less crazy here. Well, that is if I'm not actually arresting a real perp."

Gibbs let out a laugh despite himself and wondered if it was just an attempt to change the topic. He mentally shrugged and played along. It was easy to talk to the guy after all.

"So what kind of movie are you shooting right now?"

"Oh, this one's good," he answered, grinning broadly. "I'm an FBI-agent, as you already know, and I'm about to be fired because I'm running a drug ring behind the scenes because I need money for my sick daughter. Then, a real Columbian drug lord comes to town and tries to blow me up because I'm ruining his business."

"That sounds awful," Gibbs said, letting out a laugh. For a moment DiNozzo looked livid and Gibbs was just about to backpedal at least a bit when the younger man snorted.

"It kind of is," he replied, starting to laugh, too.

"When why do the movie?"

"It's what people like to see," DiNozzo shrugged, suddenly having become serious. "I like to please them, you know. All I'm trying to do is to distract them from their problems, even if it's only for an hour and a half."

Gibbs didn't reply but looked at him again, wondering why he had never looked at it like that. DiNozzo seemed sincere, though. His green eyes were staring right back at him and for a moment Gibbs found himself unable to avert his eyes from them.

"Do you like doing these movies?" he finally asked, clearing his throat to disperse the odd mood that was suddenly hanging over them.

"I like shooting them," he shrugged again. "Sometimes I wish that I could do something more meaningful, you know. But I don't think it's what people would like."

"Why do you care?" Gibbs asked, running a hand through his hair. "I'm sure you don't do it for the money."

"I actually don't know," DiNozzo said, looking pensive.

They remained silent for a while with the younger man clearly hanging in thoughts and Gibbs unable to steer the conversation into a different direction. He wasn't good at talking after all.

"I actually didn't want to talk about me all the time," DiNozzo finally started again just when Gibbs was getting a bit antsy.

"I don't think I can tell you much."

"Are you kidding me?" the younger man turned to look at him, his eyes holding a strange kind of fascination. "You're a federal agent. If that's not interesting, I don't know what is. Certainly more exciting than memorizing script after script."

Gibbs subtly shook his head hating to be turned on the spotlight. He did, however, kind of enjoy the attention he was getting from the man next to him. He patiently answered the guy's questions about the agency and his team. What surprised Gibbs more than him actually liking to talk about it was the fact that DiNozzo seemed to be really interested in it. No, interested didn't seem strong enough, he was fascinated by it.  
Just when he was halfway into the story about a case when they had found an underground bunker where a perp had kept five women for almost ten years, DiNozzo suddenly averted his eyes from him and then cursed silently as he all but jumped up from the bench.

"Come on," he urged the older man. "We gotta go. The mob has found us."

Gibbs looked over his shoulder and saw about ten photographers run towards them, shouting questions at the other man. Gibbs couldn't make out what exactly they were saying but little did he care. He broke into a run with DiNozzo doing the same next to him. They took a few turns until they got to their meeting point. Gibbs was sure that they had outrun the photographers but the younger man still seemed to be highly uncomfortable.

"You got your car here?" the actor asked, breathing heavily. "I took a cab here."

"Yeah, right around the corner."

He started to jog again and soon enough they were at his truck. DiNozzo quickly jumped into it and Gibbs backed it out of the parking space and into traffic.

"Thank you," the younger man said and he sounded downright sorry about it, too. "Didn't think they'd find me there."

"That happen often?"

"Yeah."

"How do they find out?"

"I don't really know," Tony answered shaking his head. "I guess sometimes somebody just walks by and tells someone else, you know the drill. It's disgusting really."

"Not your fault," Gibbs just shrugged. "So, what are they going to write about this?"

"What do you mean?"

"Just thinking," he shrugged again. "I know what those magazines write."

"Nothing they ever write is even remotely true. Just today a read a story about my holiday on Barbados."

"Where you broke up with that Brazilian model?"

DiNozzo drew back his head and then let out a laugh. "You've done your reading I see."

"Nah," Gibbs just said. "A co-worker was reading it today. Just caught the headline."

"Let me guess. Abby."

"Nope," Gibbs grinned, slightly irritated that the guy had actually remembered the names of his team. "Kate."

"Nice," DiNozzo replied, grinning that fake grin again. "It's absolute nonsense. I never even dated Gisele. She's a good friend. Just needed someone to go to that gala with me."

It seemed like DiNozzo wanted to continue but then he just shook his head and remained silent. Gibbs furrowed his brow wondering what that was all about, but let the topic drop. It was none of his business anyway.

"Where am I dropping you off?" he asked instead.

"You can kick me out right here. I'll have my manager pick me up."

"I can drive you home."

"Yeah," DiNozzo looked at him for a moment and out of the corners of his eyes Gibbs saw the other man's questioning gaze. "No, it's fine right here."

"You sure?"

"Yup. And… I had fun today."

"Me, too," Gibbs replied and was slightly startled that he really meant it, too.

"Care to do it again?"

"Sure. You free tomorrow?"

"I am," DiNozzo grinned again. "I'll text you as soon as I know when I get out of the studio."

"Alright. Can't promise anything though. You never know when a case comes up."

"No problem. It's a date then."


	4. Fake Thoughts

**A/N: I'm having more fun with this than I thought - so there's a possibility that this thing here will be a little longer than originally planned :) Thanks for the reviews, alerts and favorites! :) They made my day!**

* * *

 **Fake Thoughts**

The best laid schemes of mice and man gang aft agley. Of course, the next day brought a new case and therefore no chance of another evening with DiNozzo. Ever since his latest divorce, Gibbs had always secretly wished to get case after case in order to spend less time at home. Truth be told, he had wished that during his marriages, too. Only time he had ever wanted to be at home had been when his house actually was a home, too. But that was over ten years ago. He had long accepted that it never would be like that again. So why did it feel so weird to pick up his phone and tell DiNozzo's voicemail that he couldn't make it that night?

Thankfully the case wrapped up a day after, so Gibbs picked up his phone to call DiNozzo to ask whether he was free that evening. Then, he was reminded that he would still be some sort of meeting until five o'clock. He didn't want to wait that long to find out if he should make other plans or not. Maybe there was another way…

"McGee," he said, causing the young agent to jump ever so slightly before he looked away from the computer screen in front of him.

"Yeah, Boss?"

"Can you teach me to… write these messages with my phone?"

"You want to learn how to text?" McGee checked back, unable to hide the obvious surprise. "You sure?"

Gibbs just raised an eyebrow and then gave him a glare, so that McGee stood up and walked over to him.

" _Why_ do you want to learn how to text?" Kate who had been strikingly silent asked.

Gibbs didn't dignify that with an answer either so he just motioned to Tim to show him as he gave him his cellphone. Quarter of an hour later - after Gibbs had only snapped at McGee for about ten times - he found himself in the elevator. Kate had watched them with amusement and Gibbs was sure that she was on her way down to Abby at that exact moment, cooking up theories about it. Good thing they'd never guess whom he was going to write. He slowly typed a couple of words, still furious that you had to click that one button four times to get a 's'. He read his message over and then sent it.

 _Case is closed. You free tonight?_

Gibbs decided to get himself another cup of coffee until DiNozzo would write back, but received a message almost right away.

 _Should be done here by about six. Suggestions?_

Smiling slightly and wondering why that was, Gibbs typed another message, almost running into two people while doing it. He probably shouldn't text and walk all at the same time. For a second, he wondered how other people could even drive like that. Maybe he was getting old after all.

 _We could take a walk. Know a good place in Alexandria._

By the time Gibbs had his coffee and was back at his desk they had made their plans final. They'd meet near Gibbs' house. He was pretty sure that nobody would even cross their way along the path he was thinking of. Idly he wondered if DiNozzo could ever do anything he really wanted without the mob following him around. It'd be torture for Gibbs not to be able to be alone anywhere except his own house and as much as Gibbs loved being alone there, loved being alone in the basement, he was sure that he probably wouldn't like it as much as he did if he would be held captive in there.

#

A couple of hours later Gibbs found himself walking next to a tired-looking DiNozzo.

"… anyway, he only found out about it the next day. His face was priceless."

"How do you not realize that you were sleeping in a casket?" DiNozzo checked back incredulously after Gibbs had told the story about McGee had found out about Abby's sleeping arrangement. "I mean… what did he think it was? Dracula's estate?"

"I don't know," Gibbs was laughing now, too.

"You've got yourself some weird people, Gibbs."

"I bet you know a lot people who are weirder, DiNozzo."

"I guess," he grinned ever so slightly. "Hey," he then added in an afterthought. "Why do you keep calling me DiNozzo?"

Gibbs just shrugged as he climbed over a fallen tree that was blocking their way. "You call me Gibbs."

"That's because you told me to. Plus, you're first names are kind of Beverly Hillbillies. No offense."

"None taken. I was named after my dad's best friend. Wasn't one of his brightest ideas given the fact that they don't even talk to each other anymore."

That caused DiNozzo next to him to laugh again. "Well, contrary to you, I do have a great first name. So, why don't you call me Tony?"

"Okay," Gibbs nodded.

Just when Gibbs wanted to suggest taking the longer route a little while later, he could feel the first raindrops on his head. He looked up and realized that a thunderstorm was most likely to hit them very soon.

"Oh man," Tony sighed. "We have to cut this short – again."

"Yeah," Gibbs just said, walking a bit faster now.

He looked at the other man and was slightly startled when he saw that he was clearly disappointed. For a second Gibbs thought about inviting him to dinner at a local barbecue but then he realized that there would probably be too many people there. Well, he could still…

"My house's not far from here. I could grill some steaks if you wanted."

"You sure?" Tony checked back, a soft smile grazing his features and for a second Gibbs was sure that it had been the first real smile he had seen on his face.

"Yeah. I don't know mind you knowing where I live," he gave him a half-smile for good measure making sure that Tony understood that he didn't mean it in a bad way.

"Okay," Tony answered, furrowing a brow. "And I'm sorry about that. It's not like I don't want you to know, it's just…"

"You want to keep the crazies from your refuge, I get it."

"Exactly."

"Good thing nobody's interested in me, then," Gibbs quipped.

"I am," Tony answered and then promptly looked away as Gibbs tried to catch his eyes. "So where is this house of yours?" he then quickly continued.

Gibbs looked at him for a moment, trying to figure out why DiNozzo of all people suddenly seemed shy but let the topic drop once more.

"Just around the corner."

#

"So you do this often?" Tony asked, sitting on Gibbs' couch and nursing a beer.

Gibbs turned around from where he had been kneeling by the fireplace to have a closer look at the steaks that were sizzling there.

"Having a world famous movie star sitting on my couch?"

"Not that," Tony grinned. "I mean grilling steaks over an open fire."

"It's the best way there is."

They dwelled in silence for a while after that and once again Gibbs realized that it felt oddly comfortable. He mostly only knew people who were talking a mile a minute or people who were too afraid of him to speak freely. Tony was a welcome exception. While he tended to talk a lot when he did, he could be quiet, too. In ways he reminded Gibbs of Shannon. The way he just sat there watching him do the cooking, occasionally asking something or joking but never taking it too far held some memory of his first wife doing the very same.  
That thought brought Gibbs to a standstill. What the hell was he even thinking? He mentally apologized to his late wife even if she would probably have chided him for it. He had no business comparing her to anybody because nobody simply could match up with her. Besides, DiNozzo was just someone who seemed to enjoy his company and Gibbs was far from chasing him away. He had far too few friends anyway.

"What was the weirdest case you ever had?" Tony asked into the silence which had only been disrupted by the crackling of the fire before.

"We stole Air Force One once."

"You _what_?" Tony spluttered, almost spitting out the sip of beer he had just taken.

"The president wasn't in there anymore. So technically it wasn't even Air Force One."

"Why on earth did you steal it?"

"We needed it to process the crime scene. A Navy Officer had died onboard. What were we supposed to do?"

"Oh, I don't know," Tony laughed. "How about not _stealing_ it? I bet the Secret Service was very pleased about that."

"Actually," Gibbs started as he put the two steaks on two different plates and handed one to Tony. "They were on board, too. That's how I met Kate. The FBI was pissed, though."

"I'd be, too," Tony was still laughing and Gibbs could almost feel amusement radiating from him. "I mean who do you think you are? Harrison Ford?"

Before Gibbs knew what he was doing, he had slapped the other man upside the head causing him to laugh even more.

"Hey!" he shouted out. "Did you just physically assault me?"

"I might have," Gibbs gave back. "No other way to shut you up."

"Oh, is this how it's going to be from now on? I'm talking and you're head slapping me? You know we never even shook hands before but suddenly this is alright?" Tony was still laughing good-naturedly as he shook his head.

"Only if you keep talking," Gibbs just replied and then pulled out his knife to cut his steak.

Realizing that he was being a bad host, he was just about to hand it over to Tony and to get himself another one when the younger man pulled out his own.

"You got a knife with you?" Gibbs couldn't help but ask, turning ever so slightly to look at him.

"Always got one with me. Learned the hard way that it's better this way."

For a moment Tony's smile faded, only to be replaced by a fake one a second later. Gibbs furrowed his brow, wondering why he always felt the need to hide stuff like that from him.

"Yeah," Gibbs said tentatively. "That's good thinking. And one of my rules."

"You've got _rules_?" Tony asked incredulously around a mouthful of steak.

"Sure. Everyone's got to have a code to live by. Or at least to work by. This one's number 9. Never leave home without your knife."

"You're something else, you know that? What are the other rules?"

"Too many to tell you now. You'll find out eventually."

"I'll look forward to that then," Tony smiled again, causing Gibbs to wonder if he'd really stick around long enough to even learn one more.

#

"Well, I had a good time," Tony said, standing in front of the still closed front door of Gibbs' house as he rubbed the back of his head.

Gibbs just nodded, suddenly feeling a bit awkward and hyperaware of the fact that he had no idea what to say. The honk from a car outside saved him the trouble.

"That's Andy, my manager," Tony explained. "So, uh, I'll see you soon?"

The way it was phrased like a question surprised Gibbs a bit. It was as if Tony wasn't entirely sure he'd be welcome again.

"I'd like that," he said.

"Okay, then." He gave him another brilliant smile and then stepped forward to give him a rather awkward one-armed hug. "See you."

With that he was out the door and Gibbs stood there staring at the closed door for a few moments. He could still feel the other man's arm around him, even though it had been a very short hug. But a hug it had been. He let out a sigh and then walked down towards the basement. He needed to clear his head and only his boat could help him with that. He didn't know why he was feeling so off balance all of a sudden, didn't know what had made the actually fun evening weird. It was probably just Gibbs being himself. Maybe he just wasn't used to it anymore. Having someone to talk to who was comfortable with him. Maybe that was what bothered him.  
He finally picked up a sander and let the familiar motions lull him back into a sense of security.


	5. Fake Impressions

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews! I hope you'll like the next chapter, too. :)**

* * *

 **Fake Impressions**

The next couple of days brought a case so gruesome that even Ducky didn't have a story to compare it to. The wife of a petty officer had been found dead in her house and the two kids, a twelve year old boy and his baby sister, were found stabbed only two days later. Gibbs and his team hadn't been able to come up with a lead and there had been no ransom demand for them to go on either. When they found them lying in an empty train wagon, Gibbs couldn't avert his eyes from them for a few long moments. Stabbing a person to death wasn't ever a great thing to look at but having to see these two kids nearly brought him to his knees. This wasn't supposed to happen – ever.  
Kate had finally bumped into him, Gibbs didn't know if it was on purpose or not, but it got him moving again. The sheer emotional strain of finding the two kids like this took all Gibbs had to give, but after another five days they found the killer – their own father. He had played the devastated husband and father so convincingly that at first Gibbs couldn't believe it when they had finally unearthed a video that showed him dump his own kids.

Gibbs had toyed with the idea to send Kate in to interrogate him but then realized that Kate wasn't looking much better than he felt. He couldn't do it to her. He'd have to bite the bullet on this one.  
When he opened the door to the interrogation room, he had to take a deep breath in order not to snap the guy in front of him in two.

"Why am I here?" the petty officer asked when Gibbs sat down opposite of him. He still looked grief-stricken and yet there was some sort of tension in his shoulders that hadn't been there before.

"You're here because we've found the killer of your wife and kids."

"You did?" he asked, his eyes lighting up. "Who?"

"You."

"Me?" the murderer checked back, his eyes growing bigger. "You've checked my alibi before. I could never kill my own kids."

"You could and you did."

Gibbs picked up the remote for the small TV set in the corner of the room and showed him the video. It was clear that it was him who was all but throwing his children onto the train. With grim devastation Gibbs realized, and how he hadn't noticed it earlier was beyond him, that the guy was actually smiling as he left. It was as if he had been enjoying killing his kids.

"You want to rethink what you've just said?" he then asked, his voice sounding cold even to himself. "Or do you just want to prepare yourself for rotting in prison for the rest of your sorry life?"

The killer stared at him unblinkingly; his steely grey eyes all but piercing Gibbs. He remained silent though and Gibbs had a hunch that he wouldn't speak to him again. It didn't stop him talking though.

"Fine," he finally said as he laid out the pictures of the dead family. "Then just look at what you've done to your family. I don't know what made you do what you did. Maybe you've had a fight so bad with your wife that you felt the need to kill her. Fine. But what in the world has Jonah, your son, your twelve year old son ever done to you? Or forget about him… what about Rose? She was two, Petty Officer Parks, two. Take a close look at her picture."  
He shoved the photograph towards the man who was still looking right back at him with such a lack of emotion in his face that Gibbs just wanted to punch him. "Take a look at your daughter and I hope her photo will haunt you for the rest of your life."

With that Gibbs stood up and then left the room, throwing the door closed behind him. Once outside he leaned against one of the orange walls and breathed out. That son of a bitch. Gibbs hated being so emotionally involved in this but he didn't think that he could not be. Everyone would understand without asking probing questions about the why. For a moment Kelly's laughing face showed up in front of his inner eye and he nearly walked back into the interrogation room to have another round with the perp. But it wouldn't make it better. It would make it so much worse. So he finally got moving again, slowly walking back into the bullpen. When he spotted Kate standing by McGee's desk, talking to him in hushed voices, quite obviously trying to cheer him up, Gibbs couldn't help but feel a bit better. At least his team had started to become just that – a team.

"Go home," he said, his voice sounding tired all of a sudden. "You can type up your reports tomorrow."

Kate nodded and was already halfway towards her desk as McGee piped up.

"I think I'll stay here, Boss," he said. "I want this to be done today."

Gibbs just nodded and for a moment thought that maybe this would be the right way to do it. Close it today and keep it locked for all times to come, but he was sure that he wouldn't be able to do it. Not today. He needed to vent first, some way or another. So he grabbed his things and headed out.

Arriving in the garage, he felt his phone vibrate in the pocket of his slacks. He pulled it out and realized it was a text from Tony. They had been texting on and off for the last couple of days and while Gibbs had always prided himself that nothing ever distracted him from his work, he had come to realize that the guy's texts had always managed to bring him out of his gruesome headspace even if only for a few seconds. This one was no different.

 _I hope you finally got the bastard._ was all the message read.

Gibbs subtly shook his head as he got into his truck and texted back. He had gotten a bit faster over the week, but he still felt ridiculously slow.

 _Yes. It was the father._

For a moment he thought about just starting the car and go home to his boat and bourbon but then he decided to wait for Tony to answer. And sure enough, only seconds later there was another message waiting for him.

 _Fuck. You okay?_

 _No._

 _You want to hang out today? I'll be done here in a few minutes. I can do some Jim Carrey impressions that'll cheer you up._

 _Got a better idea. Can you meet me at the Downtown Boxing Club?_

 _I can be there in 30 minutes._

Gibbs shook his head, wondering why the mere thought of seeing Tony again managed to make him feel better in an instant.

#

Half an hour later, Gibbs found himself engaged in an intense boxing fight against the punching bag. He was sweating by now, his knuckles were already starting to hurt, but he didn't care. He needed to get the image of the little girl out of his head and needed to do the same with the picture of his own little girl after her death.

"Easy, tiger," a man's rough voice reached his ears and he stopped punching as he turned around to see Tony stand there in his workout clothes. His expression was full of compassion and Gibbs felt a little bit of tension leave his body.

"That bad, huh?" Tony asked now, cocking his head a bit to the left.

Gibbs said nothing just tilted his head towards the empty boxing ring. There were only two other people in the gym and they didn't pay any attention to the two of them. DiNozzo seemed to have realized that, too, because he had only eyes for Gibbs and wasn't casting fleeting looks around the way he usually did.

They started boxing against each other easily, nobody really pushing to hit the other, instead just trying to get into the groove of things. After a while, though, Gibbs felt Tony's hits getting a bit harder and he followed suit. It didn't take long for them to have an earnest match, neither one giving even an inch. The motions of hitting and fending soon made Gibbs lose himself in the fight, all other thoughts disappearing from his mind. He was glad that Tony seemed like he enjoyed it, too, and not grudgingly did Gibbs notice that the younger man was actually better at this than he was. He had been a Phys. Ed. major in college after all and Gibbs guessed it came in handy now. It didn't deter him though, if anything it made him push even harder. All that counted were the hits, the way his glove-covered fists would touch the other man's shoulders, stomach, face and the way his anger seemed to resolve itself with every hit he took and with every hit he served.

Almost an hour after they had started, Gibbs finally let up, stepping away from the other man who was intently staring at him. Gibbs quirked a grin that felt fake even to him and then wiped an arm over his wet face. He wasn't entirely sure whether it was all from sweat, but he didn't care to investigate any further. Thankfully, Tony didn't seem to have noticed.

"You okay now?" Tony finally spoke again, worry almost tangible in his voice.

"Better," Gibbs nodded. "Thank you."

Tony only nodded and then extracted himself from the head protection. It was only then that Gibbs realized that he was bleeding. Blood was running down his cheek from his left eyebrow. He approached the other man, pulling off the gloves and then reached out a hand towards the wound, just to have Tony flinch away from him.

"You're bleeding," Gibbs said roughly. "Let me see."

This time, Tony let him and Gibbs scrutinized the gash. It wasn't big and Gibbs was sure that it didn't need stitches but that didn't stop him from pressing a fresh towel to it. Tony flinched again and brought his hand towards Gibbs arms, keeping them in place. For a second or two, Gibbs was able to look into the other man's eyes. Had they always been this green?  
Shaking his head, he looked away.

"It's alright," Gibbs said as he stepped away. "Just a cut."

"Okay," Tony smiled at him.

They went towards the locker room in silence where Tony took a look at his face, but didn't find anything wrong with it apparently as he just shrugged and then moved to take a shower. For a moment, Gibbs trailed back, taking a few deep breaths. For all his bravado in front of Kate and McGee, he had to admit that this had been exactly what he had needed to forget... and this had actually been nice despite it all. He let out a sigh and then went to take a shower, too.

#

Half an hour later Tony finally reemerged from the showers.

"You done now?" Gibbs asked as he grinned at him. "You're worse than my second ex-wife."

"Do you think my looks come from two-minute-showers?"

"Guess not," Gibbs laughed as he grabbed for his bag, but was stopped by Tony's hand on his arm.

"Hey," he said, his voice having lost the playfulness from only seconds before. "You sure you're okay?"

"I will be," Gibbs let out a sigh. "It's just… whenever a case gets like this, it's hard to get yourself out of it. It always takes a couple of hours. But I'm better now. And I'm sorry about your eyebrow."

"It's nothing," Tony waved it off. "I'd suggest we grab dinner and watch a movie now, but I can see you're not up for company tonight."

Gibbs tilted his head, looking the other man into the face and then realized that the guy was right. He really wanted to be alone. He could almost hear his boat call out to him. He wouldn't need the bourbon tonight, though. Tony had already brought him out of the headspace. But how had he known? How had he sensed that Gibbs wasn't up for anything tonight? Gibbs subtly shook his head before he cleared his throat.

"You sure you don't mind?"

"Of course not," Tony gave him a tentative smile. "I do, however, want to do something with you tomorrow evening. You free?"

"Yeah. We've got the weekend off. So as long as we don't catch a case 'till five, we're good to go. What do you want to do?"

"It's going to be a surprise."

"I hate surprises," Gibbs mumbled and then winced when Tony's fist connected with his already sore shoulder.

"I don't care," the younger man laughed and then let Gibbs standing there in the locker room, staring after him.

The guy really was something else.

#

The next day Gibbs walked into Abby's lab, a Caf-Pow! in hand. He wanted to make it up to Abby that he had been grumpy all week, even though he knew that she understood. The case had been gruesome after all. He was just walking through the doors when he could hear Abby and Kate talk in the other room. As they hadn't noticed him enter, he crept further towards them, wondering what they were talking about so excitedly. Even Kate was talking with her hands.

"… and he's been texting all week. _Texting_ , Abby. Can you believe it?"

"That doesn't mean anything. You know him, he just hates being behind on anything."

Gibbs stopped short as he realized that they were probably talking about him. It didn't stop him from keep listening in, though.

"Are you kidding me? He hates everything that has to do with computers. He still refuses to use the PDA McGee has given him. He's taking notes by hand. So don't tell me texting isn't weird for him."

"Okay," Abby relented. "It is kind of weird. But it doesn't have to mean anything."

Just when Gibbs thought about what the hell they were talking about, Kate gave him the answer.

"And he smiles whenever he does it. Like really _smiles._ Even this week with everything that was going on. I'm telling you, there's someone who makes him smile. Don't tell me, that isn't big."

"Like… really smiling?" Abby checked back, her voice all but croaking.

"Yup."

"Wow, can't believe I missed it."

Gibbs let out a sigh as he ran a hand over his face. _Those women._ He then noisily walked into the room causing Kate and Abby to jump. He bit back a grin as he handed Abby the drink and kissed her cheek.

"I, uhm, I'll be going then," Kate all but stuttered as he stared at her own hands. "Thanks for the input, Abby."

"No problem," the Goth replied as she busied herself with sucking from the straw.

Gibbs just shook his head as he left the lab with Kate. He let her take the elevator, mumbling something about getting some coffee. Instead of getting on, he slowly walked up the stairs, replaying Abby and Kate's conversation in his mind. Had he really smiled whenever Tony had texted him? He couldn't tell. But still, Kate had seemed to be under the impression that he was dating someone and he clearly wasn't.  
He stopped walking for a moment and thought about the couple of times he had spent with Tony. While he hadn't thought about it that way before, he couldn't help but realize that from an outsider's point of view their meetings could look like dates. He almost laughed out loud at the thought. He shook his head and then started walking again. His mind really was running amok with him lately.


	6. Fake Perceptions

**A/N: Thanks for the kind words!**

* * *

 **Fake Perceptions**

Gibbs had been fiddling with his cell phone for ten minutes or so when his doorbell finally rang. Slightly startled why anyone would actually ring it and not just come in, he realized that Tony didn't know that yet.

"It's open," he called out and was soon faced with the younger man standing in his doorway.

He was wearing comfy looking jeans and a button-down and Gibbs felt instantly glad that he wasn't underdressed as he was wearing almost the same – of course his clothes were probably a couple hundred of dollars cheaper.

"You ready?" Tony asked in lieu of a greeting.

"Sure," Gibbs answered and then grabbed his keys, following Tony out the door.

He walked a few steps and then let out a whistle as he took a look at the car that was standing in the driveway. It was a green old Mustang, if Gibbs had to guess, he'd say from the 1960s. Despite it being an old car, it looked like it was brand new and Gibbs didn't want to know how much money it had needed in order to get it look like that. For a second, he stopped short as he realized that this was really the first thing he had seen that really screamed money when it came to Tony. For someone who had that much of it Tony was surprisingly humble. Gibbs subtly shook his head as he started walking again – had really all of his prejudices that he had had against Tony in the beginning been exactly that? Prejudices?

"What's wrong?" Tony asked him as he was already halfway on his way to get into his car.

"Nothing," Gibbs grinned. "You've got a really nice car, that's all."

"I know, right? I've dreamed of this baby since I was about six when I first watched this Steve McQueen movie. 'Bullit'? You've ever seen it?"

"Don't know," Gibbs shrugged as he got into the car next to Tony. "Not really a movie kind of guy."

Tony raised an eyebrow as he started the car and backed out of the driveway.

"So that's why it took you so long to figure out who I was the first time we met?"

Gibbs chuckled at the self-deprecating voice before he answered. "Guess so. Though it didn't take me as long as you think. I knew I'd seen you before but I was internally going through all the feebs I know. And after I realized who you were I didn't want to give you the impression you are anybody important."

Tony laughed at that, shaking his head. "You didn't like me very much, did you?"

"No," Gibbs just said, earning himself a soft poke on his shoulder.

"What made you come around?" Tony asked after a while as he took a left turn onto the highway.

"I don't know," Gibbs shrugged. "You just weren't what you seemed at first."

"A pretty decent guy?" Tony checked back, humor clearly audible in his voice.

"You are," Gibbs replied emphatically.

"Good to know."

Silence reigned for a few minutes after that as Tony paid attention to the traffic and Gibbs checked out the car from the inside. It really was a great one and he would have admired a car like that as a kid if one just like it would have ever crossed a street in Stillwater.

"Where are we going anyway?" he finally asked, realizing that while the question had bothered him the whole day he had nearly forgotten all about it in the last couple of minutes.

"You'll see. It's not far."

A couple of minutes later Tony took another turn and then it was quite clear where he wanted to take the other man.

"We're going to watch a movie?"

"Yup, took me forever to find a decent movie in a drive-in theater. Hope you like 'Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid'."

Gibbs turned to look at the other man and for a moment he could see the tension around Tony's eyes that eased when he answered with a simple "Yup."

They parked the car a little while later and just when Gibbs wanted to say something to cut the silence short, he realized that Tony was fiddling with the door handle of his car.

"I'll get us something to snack," Gibbs saved him from his dilemma. "What do you want?"

"Popcorn would be great. And a diet coke."

"A _diet_ coke?" Gibbs replied sarcastically. "You sure?"

"Of course, Gibbs, you think this body," he gestured towards himself. "Just comes naturally? It's hard work."

Gibbs let out another laugh and then got going. Just when he thought he had figured Tony out, he threw him another curveball.

#

"Did you know," Tony all but whispered about half an hour into the movie. "That the real Butch Cassidy is only called Butch because he once worked as a butcher? Can't imagine why he didn't like to be called Robert _Leroy_. Do you?"

Gibbs let out a laugh as he gave Tony a slap upside the head. "Watch it, DiNozzo."

"What _does_ your dad call you by the way?"

"Leroy," Gibbs answered. "Though if I had to choose, I'd prefer Jethro."

"I would, too. You insisted that these wives of yours call you Gibbs, too?"

"No, my first wife hated my first names just as much as I do. She only ever really called me Jethro when I was in trouble or she had something serious to talk about. The other three just didn't care what I thought. You've got everything from J to Leroy."

"I thought you said you were married three times."

 _Shit._

Gibbs turned towards the movie screen in front of them and closed his eyes for a moment, feeling his insides freeze. He hadn't slipped up like that in years. Hell, even Ducky and Abby didn't know about Shannon.

"Yeah, I said that," he finally answered slowly unable to come up with a convincing lie. He didn't think he could fool the guy next to him anyway.

Tony remained silent for a moment, his glance back at the movie, too. When he spoke again, his voice was almost soft as if he knew that Gibbs was suddenly torn inside.

"I guess you had a good reason to lie. I get that."

Gibbs turned to look at him. He could only make out his profile as he was still not looking in his direction. For a moment Gibbs wondered why Tony wasn't mad at him but then he realized that he really did understand. He didn't know why and how he was just so accepting, but he somehow jus was and Gibbs suddenly felt an unknown pull towards the younger man.

"Her name was Shannon," Gibbs finally started, the words haltingly coming out of his mouth because he wasn't entirely sure why he was even talking about her in the first place. "She was killed by a drug dealer in 1991."

At first Tony didn't look at him, just continued to watch the movie for a few moments. Gibbs could see him gulp and then nod before his eyes suddenly were on Gibbs.

"When I was eight, I went to see 'The little Prince' with my mom. As the theater wasn't far from our house, we walked. On the way back, there were two guys who threatened us with a knife so that we would give them our money. My mom did everything they told her to do but then there were sirens to be heard from somewhere and that one guy panicked. He stabbed her. She died two days later in the hospital."

Gibbs blinked. He was still staring at the other man. He had told the story almost emotionless but Gibbs was sure that it was a long practiced hiding mechanism. He didn't know what to say to that so he just remained silent as he brought his hand to Tony's shoulder and squeezed it softly.

"I'm sorry," he finally said knowing that it wasn't enough, but then again he was sure that Tony knew anyway, knew that if he could, he'd make it alright.

"Me, too," the younger man just said, his voice having gone soft. "About your wife, I mean."

Only now did Tony look at Gibbs again and his expression was so haunted that Gibbs only just held himself back from just hugging the man. But just when Gibbs wanted to say something – what exactly he wasn't all that sure – the look was gone.

"Do you notice how pale they all are?"

"Huh?" Gibbs asked at the non-sequitur, unable to follow Tony's train of thought.

"The people in the movie. Well, except for Paul Newman and Robert Redford."

Gibbs turned to look at the screen again, taking the diversion for what it was. Why did the guy always do that, though? Whenever he let something slip or whenever he just seemed to say something important, he just changed topics. Gibbs was hardly one to talk, though. He did the very same thing every time Abby was prying a little too deep into his personal life but Tony always seemed to want to talk only to stop doing it a moment later. But once more Gibbs let him because, well, he wasn't all too keen on talking about Shannon either after all. So he took a look at the actors on screen but couldn't really make out a difference between Paul Newman and the others.

"Why you're asking?" he said then, wondering if only Tony saw these things because he was an actor, too.

"They were all sick from Montezuma's Revenge. Only Newman and Redford had refused to drink the water in Mexico – that's where they shot the scenes that are playing in Bolivia. They only drank alcohol the whole time."

"Sound like my kind of guys," Gibbs replied grinning and he could see Tony next to him relax again as he grabbed for a handful of popcorn. "How on earth do you know that kind of stuff?"

"I'm interested in it," Tony shrugged. "I like knowing why the actors do what they do. It makes me better, too. When you pay close attention, you can sometimes see them actually read their lines from their hands or wherever they've planted their cheat sheet. It's fun."

"Hmm," Gibbs just made as he continued to watch the movie, noticing that Tony had finally settled again.

He felt himself lose some of his own tension, too. He didn't know what exactly it was about the other man but he didn't feel the need to elaborate on anything. He knew that Tony would have accepted it if he hadn't even told him anything about Shannon. He didn't know why he had done it in the first place, but with a start Gibbs realized that he hadn't met someone like that in a very long time. Someone who just listened and _understood_.

#

"So when do I get to see one of your movies?" Gibbs asked two hours later when he got out of the car.

They had watched the rest of the movie in relative silence, except for Tony's occasional input on one of the scenes. It was fun to watch, actually. He was like a kid at Christmas whenever he could tell a detail about the movie that Gibbs hadn't known before. It was great to see that a grown man could still be fascinated about something like that. It made Gibbs envy him.

"You ever see one?" Tony asked as he followed Gibbs up the driveway even though he had told him only minutes before that he had to get back to his apartment due to some conference call.

"Two," Gibbs replied as he stopped in front of the door that lead into his house. "I think it was 'Perfect Pursuit' and that one where you jump from the skyscraper at the very end."

"'The Innocent Man'. I hope you got the reference to the ending of 'Butch Cassidy' on that one."

"I did now," Gibbs grinned suddenly noticing the connection.

"Oh my," Tony laughed. "I guess you'd like the newest one. I'm a football player who wants to help out his friend who's in deep depth with the local gambling mafia. The others are just… dumb action movies? But we could watch that one if you wanted."

"Sure. Maybe you'll tell me when _you_ were reading from the cheat sheets."

"I never do that," Tony grinned at him conspiratorially.

"Sure you don't," Gibbs laughed and was about to open the door when Tony spoke again.

"Hey, Gibbs?"

"Ye…?" he said as he turned around but before he could even finish the word, he felt Tony's lips on his own.

It didn't take particularly long and even if it had, Gibbs wouldn't be able to tell because he was too surprised, too stunned actually, to react to it. All he could feel were Tony's warm lips. It was over before he knew it and he couldn't even do as much as blink twice that Tony was already back in his car, speeding out the driveway. Gibbs stood there for a moment, watching the car drive down the street as he touched a finger to his lips.

What the hell?


	7. Fake Resolutions

**A/N: Thank you so much for your reviews! :) Sadly, I won't be able to update as quickly as I have been, but I'll try to post a chapter twice a week :-) This chapter is a rather slow one, lots of Gibbs. Hope you like it!**

* * *

 **Fake Resolutions**

Gibbs was sitting on the floor in his basement, trying to decide if one more glass of bourbon would make him finally forget. He'd been sitting there for hours unable to even get up and sand his boat. It just wouldn't do him any good. He'd probably harm the boat with the way his thoughts were going in circles. Round and round and round. His mind kept replaying that goddamn kiss again and again and there didn't seem to be enough bourbon to make it stop. It was stupid, really.

Had he given the guy any indication that he would like to be kissed? Had he given him a clue that he had wanted it, too? Hell, how had Tony figured that he'd be gay? Or bi or something? Gibbs didn't like labels and most of the time he didn't even care. Everybody could do whatever the hell they wanted but this had him feeling weird in all the wrong places.

He mentally replayed the evening with Tony but couldn't find anything that would have given the younger man a clue that he was interested in him that way. Sure, they had shared – and Gibbs still didn't know exactly why he had done it – and sure, they had had fun but that still wasn't enough, was it?

Gibbs took another sip from his bourbon and then closed his eyes as he let his head fall back against the frame of the boat. How had the beginning of a probably great friendship gotten so wrong? And it really had been great, for the first time in _years_ there had been someone who had made him feel _good_. Sure, he had other friends, but nobody seemed to get him as much as Tony did. And that was really the reason why he was so confused about what happened. He had thought that they were on the same page but somehow his and Tony's signals had crossed.

He sighed and poured himself another drink. It was going to be a long night.

#

If Gibbs had waited for Tony to text or call him the next day, he would have been disappointed. He didn't know what he had expected but the radio silence wasn't contributing much to calm his still tangled up thoughts. It was already well after midday that Gibbs decided to go into the office to catch up on some paper work. It wasn't as if there was much to do but he wanted to keep himself distracted and paper work usually did the trick even if the bourbon had failed the night before.

"What are you doing here?" he was greeted by Balboa as soon as he stepped into the squad room.

"Slow weekend," Gibbs replied. "Have to catch up on some paper work."

"Have fun," the other agent said, grinning lopsidedly at him, as he stepped into the elevator that Gibbs had just vacated, the rest of his team following.

Gibbs looked around and realized that he was all alone. That was weird, even for a Saturday. The weekend seemed to be really slow indeed. Internally shrugging, he went to his desk, booted up the computer and got to work.

An hour later, he was roused from his work as Abby walked into the bullpen. Even for her standards she was dressed up, wearing a long black dress and gloves with little skulls on them. Her hair wasn't put into pigtails for once but freely flowing over her shoulders. She looked like a whole different person.

"Going somewhere?" he asked as he stood up and gave her a peck on her cheek.

"Really, Gibbs," Abby replied, subtly shaking her head. "Do yourself a favor and use the internet from time to time. Kate, McGee and I are going to Comic-Con."

"Since when are you reading comics?" Gibbs checked back, wondering when he had missed something that big – and forget about Abby, since when did Kate go to such gatherings?

"Oh Gibbs," Abby grinned. "It's not just about comics. It's about movies and TV shows and all that fuss. But that's not really why we're going. I mean, McGee is, but he's, you know, McGee."

"So why _are_ you going?" Gibbs said as he sat back down.

"Tony DiNozzo," Abby said, smiling broadly. "He's there to promote his new flick where he plays a football star…"

"Who helps out his friend in depth, I know, Abby."

"You know?" Abby asked, raising an eyebrow. "How come?"

"McGee," Gibbs replied, gesturing aimlessly, not really sure if it needed further explanation. Thankfully it didn't.

"Anyway, I have to go," Abby said as she checked her watch. "I'm already late because Balboa needed me. And you," she gave him a stern look. "Don't work too much. It's your free weekend. You should be doing something fun."

Gibbs was tempted to answer that this was actually fun compared to the thoughts he would have if he wasn't working, but he remained silent. It wasn't something he'd ever say to anybody.

"Have a good time," he said instead and then Abby was gone, almost skipping towards the elevators.

Gibbs watched her leave, wondering why Tony hadn't told him about this comic thing but then he realized that he hadn't exactly asked. Tony had told him he had to work and that was all. Gibbs guessed that it was his job talking to the fans and crazies. He didn't know how Tony did it, though. The Tony Gibbs had seen was almost shy and reserved. But maybe it was part of the job and Gibbs realized that Tony probably had a personality for these kinds of things, too. Just like the one he had presented to him on the first day they had met. Goddamn actors.

He was just about to go back to his work when he remembered something else that Abby had said. He could use the internet, but not for catching up with the latest movies. While he had obsessed over the fact that Tony thought that Gibbs could be gay, he hadn't really asked himself the question if Tony was. He had never made a comment in that direction or had let anything on. But Tony was a popular man and Gibbs suddenly realized that he could probably look it up. So, he opened the browser, casting a quick glance around to make sure that he was still alone, and then typed in the words.  
 _Tony DiNozzo gay_.

To Gibbs' surprise there were a lot of hits, so he clicked on the first and read the article that showed up. There the author talked about DiNozzo's habit of changing women faster than other people their underwear and how that indicated to the fact that he wasn't really interested in them. The author went on explaining how that made the actor gay, but Gibbs knew that it was nonsense. He clicked on the next articles but all of them followed a similar line of thinking. It was bullshit. Gibbs had believed Tony when he had told him that he had never really dated any of the women the magazine wrote about. He didn't think the younger man had been lying about it. Had he only lied about dating men, then? Gibbs didn't know, he just didn't know.

He closed the browser and angrily shook his head. He shouldn't be doing this. It was none of his business and he really wasn't supposed to be worrying about it.  
But wasn't he? The guy had kissed him after all. Shouldn't Gibbs be thinking about it?

From what he had learned about Tony in these past two weeks, he knew that he was shy and really decent. He knew when Gibbs needed his quiet and when he was up to talking. He was fun to hang out with. And Gibbs knew things about him that he was sure not many people knew. Like that thing with his mother. With sudden clarity, Gibbs realized that he had told the guy about Shannon, too. He never told anybody about her. It just hurt too much thinking about her most of the time. But then again, why had he told a man, whom he had only known for two weeks, his greatest secret? Gibbs leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes for a moment before he stared up at the ceiling. He had told him because he had felt like it, because he had wanted Tony to know, because it had felt good. It was as simple as that.

Once more, a tiny voice in the back of his head told him to look closer. How had Gibbs _not_ seen it? He had trusted the man because he had felt comfortable around him. More comfortable than in over ten years. More comfortable than with any of the wives. Whenever he'd been with Tony it was like he had gone back to a time when Shannon had just let him… be. It was so similar sometimes that Gibbs felt a long forgotten knot in his stomach at the mere thought of it.

Gibbs let out a shaky breath. He was sure that he wasn't gay. He wasn't so sure about Tony but Gibbs wouldn't just assume he was. But then again, if Gibbs wasn't gay, why was that kiss replaying in his mind over and over again? He wasn't grossed out about it and it didn't make him think any less of Tony. He was sure if he told Tony that it was alright with him, they could still be friends. There was no problem whatsoever. And, damnit, he liked the guy. He didn't want to lose his new friendship to something like _that._ Surely, Tony would understand that, too.

So, he wouldn't be stubborn about it. It would just lead to more problems and he wasn't keen on having more of those. He pulled out his cellphone and then carefully typed a message, knowing that Tony probably wouldn't read it until that comic thing was over.

 _You said you wanted to learn a few rules of mine. Here's #5: You don't waste good._

Gibbs sent it and then packed up his stuff. He was already standing in the elevator when he felt his phone vibrate.

 _It's a good rule. Why're you telling me?_

Gibbs blinked and then started writing again, almost knocking over Balboa as he left the building.

 _We are good. Makes no sense trying to waste it._

This time the answer took a while and Gibbs guessed that Tony was busy writing autographs, but the text came eventually.

 _I'm afraid I'm not tracking._

Gibbs smiled wryly, trying to come up with something that would bring his point across.

 _We're good as it is. No need to change anything._

Gibbs started his car and was relieved when the answer didn't come immediately. In fact, he was almost home when his phone made itself perceivable again. He didn't check it straightaway, instead waiting until he had parked the car in his driveway. He didn't know what exactly he had expected Tony to text back, but it surely wasn't

 _What if I want it to change?_

Well… shit.


	8. Fake Conclusions

**A/N: Hope everyone had an awesome Halloween! :) Thanks for the reviews! :)**

* * *

 **Fake Conclusions**

Gibbs had tried to work on his boat a bit but had to realize that it was no use. He felt like he was having a hangover of the worst kind. How had he fooled himself into believing that only just because he said no that Tony would accept it without protest? He was feeling stupid and kind of put down and he didn't even know why exactly. He hadn't texted Tony back because he simply didn't know what to say. He was sure that he didn't want things to change but then again Tony seemed to be intent on doing exactly that. They were at an impasse and Gibbs knew it. He didn't know how he could possibly steer them into the right direction again, but he figured there was nothing he could be doing about that right now.

So he had resigned to reading the paper in the kitchen. He was engrossed in an article about the discovery of two dead prostitutes just outside of DC when he was raised from his reading by a loud knock on his door. He didn't bother getting up, knowing that his visitors always found their way into the house. He was slightly startled, though, when he watched Tony walk in, his glance steely-eyed as he sat down across from him. He was wearing a suit that fit him like a glove and his skin was practically glowing. Only after a moment did Gibbs realize that he was probably wearing make-up. He'd given autographs the whole day after all. It wasn't his appearance, though, that startled Gibbs the most, but the almost shy and indecisive look on the other man's face.

Neither man spoke for a long time; they just stared at each other as if trying to challenge the other one to start speaking first. Nobody did though. Gibbs wasn't quite sure why the man had come over if he didn't want to talk. He had expected him to justify his actions or at least explain his thoughts to him, but there was nothing. It seemed like Tony expected _him_ to start. But Gibbs didn't want to. He hadn't done anything. What was he supposed to say anyway? That the kiss had been no big deal? But that would have been bullshit.  
So they just sat there, staring at each other until Tony finally cleared his throat and then pulled out a DVD case from a pocket of his coat. He held it up and then finally spoke.

"You still want to watch my movie? I've got a copy from the company. It's not been officially released on DVD yet."

"Yeah," Gibbs nodded.

"You do have a DVD player, right?" Tony asked after he had walked into the living room and had looked at Gibbs' old TV.

"Yeah, it's still in the package, though. Abby got me one for my last birthday."

He went over to the cabinet and pulled it out. He handed it to Tony who had it unpacked and hooked up in no time. He plopped in the DVD and then settled on the couch, not sparing Gibbs even one glance. The older man stood there for a few seconds, trying to decide whether he should address the elephant in the room after all but then decided against it. He was sure that Tony would succumb to the silence before him. He'd just wait him out.

"Beer?" he said instead and then went back to the kitchen when Tony nodded.

They settled into a rather electric silence when the movie started, but despite his better instincts Gibbs found himself engrossed in it after a few minutes. The plot was engaging and the acting very believable. While Tony had called most of his movies dumb action flicks, this one seemed to have a bit more depth and Gibbs realized that he really liked it. What he liked even more were Tony's remarks about a couple of scenes after he had realized that Gibbs did indeed enjoy it. It was almost as if they were back in the car watching 'Butch Cassidy'.

It was easy again. It was like that goddamn kiss hadn't happened.

When the movie finished, Tony stretched himself and let out a yawn. Gibbs chanced a glance at his watch and realized that it was only eight o'clock. He didn't know what to offer the other man for the rest of the evening. While his mind had settled down somewhat in the course of the movie, his nerves apparently hadn't because he once more felt at a loss of words and he wanted the movie to have never ended. But of course it had and now Tony was staring right back at him, a crooked smile on his face.

"So…," he slowly said, his eyes meeting Gibbs'. "What would you do if I wasn't here?"

"I don't know," Gibbs shrugged, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I'd probably work on the boat a bit."

"Boat?" Tony checked back and Gibbs could see the curiosity in the other man's eyes.

"Yeah, got one in the basement. Want to see it?"

Tony nodded, all but sprang up from the couch and then waited for Gibbs to lead the way. Once downstairs, the younger man looked around for a moment before he looked at Gibbs again, raising an eyebrow. Gibbs could only just suppress a grin, knowing what would follow.

"How do you get it out of here?"

"You'll find out once it's finished."

Tony gave him a speculative look at that but remained silent as he carefully ran a hand over the wooden beams of the boat.

"You did this all on your own?" he then said, awe clearly perceivable.

"Yup. By hand, too. It's the process that counts."

"Awesome," Tony just said.

Gibbs nodded and then picked up a sander and started to work on the boat. He knew that he was probably rude, but if Tony wanted to help, he would just do it. Once more, silence ensued but this time it was a much more comfortable one. For a little while Gibbs could even forget about the reason for the tangible tension between them as he was losing himself in the movements of running the sander up and down the wood. He felt Tony's glance on him the whole time but it seemed like he was only interested in his work for the time being.

"You got anything to drink down here?" the younger man asked after a while.

"There's bourbon on the top shelf to your left," he answered without looking up.

He heard Tony shuffle and retrieve the bottle. "You got glasses, too?"

"Just empty one of the jars. That'll do."

"Gross," Tony answered, but Gibbs immediately knew that he didn't really feel that way because he heard a couple of nails fall on the work bench and then the drink being poured. "Even grosser," Tony continued after he had taken a sip. "How do you drink that stuff?"

"You get used to it," Gibbs just shrugged, glad that he was working with his back towards Tony, so that he couldn't see the grin on his face.

It took a couple of minutes until Tony spoke again and while Gibbs had found the silence a bit discomforting again, he wished the younger man hadn't spoken when he heard the words.

"You enjoyed yourself, right?"

"What do you mean?" Gibbs asked, never stopping the sanding and never even looking at the guy.

"The times you've spent with me, I mean."

"Yeah," Gibbs shrugged. "Sure."

"And you liked what we were doing."

This time, Gibbs didn't answer, but he was sure that Tony knew he had liked it, even without seeing the man's face. He just kept on sanding, hoping that Tony would interpret his silence as his way of telling him not to follow through with his line of thinking. He didn't do him the favor, though. Of course not, he never had after all.

"And you like spending time with me, too." This time, Tony didn't even wait for an answer and just continued. "And you like me."

For a second or two, Gibbs stopped working after all before he continued sanding. He was sure, though, that Tony had seen his hesitation. Of course, he liked the guy. One would have to be blind not to see that. Strangely enough, Tony still seemed to need an answer to his question.

"Otherwise you wouldn't have spent so much time with me, right?"

"Yeah," Gibbs finally said, letting out a sigh.

Tony fell silent for a minute or two and just when Gibbs' mind had relaxed again, had lulled him into a sense of security that Tony had stopped asking these goddamned questions, the younger man cleared his throat and he suddenly sounded much closer than before. When spoke again, it was barely above a whisper but still loud enough for Gibbs to hear him over the creaking of the wood.

"And you liked the kiss."

Once again, Gibbs didn't answer, but this time he had stopped sanding, even if he still didn't turn around. He had never even thought about it. Had he liked the kiss? He had been so shocked by the kiss itself and its implications that he had never asked himself the question. With a sinking heart, he realized that he hadn't been entirely grossed out about it.

"Thought so," Tony continued and Gibbs could now feel his breath on his neck as he had apparently stepped even closer. "So, what seems to be the problem with it?"

When Gibbs didn't answer, Tony let out sigh which all but tickled Gibbs' neck. He didn't turn around though. He was sure that he wouldn't like Tony's expression. He couldn't look at him because if he did, he would lose the last of his dignity.

"I didn't take you for a homophobe."

"I'm not," Gibbs pressed out through gritted teeth. God, he hated the guy.

"So what's the problem? I like you," now Tony was really whispering and it somehow unnerved Gibbs to no end. "And you like me. You like spending time with me and we tell each other things. I can tell you don't talk about the important stuff with a lot of people. And you also liked the kiss."

He stopped again and Gibbs could feel Tony's breath somewhere right underneath his ear. He could smell the lingering scent of his aftershave and something that reminded him of hazelnut. Before he could determine where that came from, though, he felt Tony step forwards. If he moved any closer now, Gibbs' back would be flush against the other man's body. But they somehow still didn't touch. The only thing Gibbs was really feeling was his own racing heartbeat.

"And you say you're not homophobic. So what seems to be your issue, Leroy Jethro Gibbs?"

Gibbs gulped and then set down the sander which he had been gripping so tightly that his knuckles had already turned white. He couldn't concentrate, couldn't think straight with Tony being so close to him and yet the younger man expected him to answer. Taking a deep breath, he finally did him the favor.

"Because you're a guy."

There, he had said it and yet relief wouldn't settle in. Nor did Tony step away from him. What was he playing at? Wasn't this statement enough for him to understand that Gibbs didn't want things to change? Just when he wanted to elaborate, and he was almost sure he could do it, his cellphone started to ring.

Letting his chin drop towards his chest, he reached for the pocket of his jeans, feeling Tony step away from him. He instantly felt a little bit colder at the motion, but decided to ignore it as he answered the phone.

"What?"

"Um," McGee's stutter was to be heard on the other end. "Sorry to interrupt, Boss, but we've got a case."

"We're not even on call, McGee," Gibbs almost barked.

"I know that, B-Boss. But Balboa and Greaves' teams have been called out, too. So it's our turn."

"Meet me at the Navy Yard in 30 minutes," Gibbs ordered, finally having regained some of his inner balance. "And call Kate, Abby and Ducky."

With that he ended the call, not bothering to say bye to the probie. He rubbed a hand over his face and then finally turned away from the boat, only to find Tony standing there, leaning against the work bench, nursing another jar of bourbon.

"I've got to head out. New case," he explained.

"Figured," Tony nodded, smiling crookedly before emptying his drink with one big gulp. "I'll see you later then."

With that and without another glance at Gibbs, he jogged up the stairs. Gibbs stared after him, wondering what that was all about before he got moving, too. While at times Tony seemed so easy to read, it was times like these that made Gibbs doubt his people reading skills. He just didn't understand the guy. He had told him that he didn't like him like that and the man was still smiling at him. What was that all about?

#

A couple of hours later, Gibbs found himself making his way down towards Abby's lab, yawning widely. It was almost three o'clock in the morning and it was at that very moment that Gibbs wished he hadn't been drinking until early morning the day before. He was about ready to lie down and fall asleep immediately if he'd get the chance.

When he entered the lab, he saw Kate and Abby huddled around one of Abby's computers, giggling quietly.

"What have you got?" he asked, grinning ever so slightly when his voice startled both of the women.

Abby turned around, engaging him in a hug before she turned around. For a second, Gibbs was able to see a couple of photos of Tony DiNozzo with both Abby and Kate. The three of them were smiling broadly at the camera and even though Gibbs knew Tony's smile to be fake, his eyes did seem like he had enjoyed himself, too. Funny, how the man could be fake and sincere at the same time…

"You met him, huh?" he asked, not knowing why he even bothered, but blaming it on being tired.

"It was awesome, Gibbs," Abby jumped right in. "He was such a sweetheart, I'm telling you. He seemed a bit distracted at first and kept on texting in between taking photos and signing pictures and stuff, which at first I found a bit arrogant, but then we realized that he was actually smiling every time he did so. Seemed kind of cute. So we're guessing he's been texting a girl he really likes. Which is good because the media has been chasing him about that model girlfriend he had a while back…"

Gibbs let her ramble on, not really paying attention anymore. Had Tony really been smiling whenever he had texted him, even though he had basically told him that he didn't want him? Did the other guy really like him like that? He felt his heart beat a bit faster again and he suddenly shivered ever so slightly when he remembered Tony's breath on his neck.

 _Goddammit._


	9. Fake Women

_**A/N: Thanks for your reviews!**_

* * *

 **Fake Women**

They closed the case by lunchtime on Sunday as Ducky determined the death to be a suicide. It was times like these that Gibbs hated the job. They'd run around all night, trying to find leads and suspects only to realize that they wouldn't have needed to. It was part of the job, he knew that, but it still irritated him from time to time. He could have spent the night in the basement, working on his boat instead. But would he really have done that? He was sure that Tony wouldn't have left until they'd talked things out. Whatever he thought these things were. Maybe getting called into work hadn't been all that bad considering. Gibbs subtly shook his head as he wrote the last sentence of his report. At least he'd still have an afternoon for himself.

McGee and Kate had already left and Gibbs was about to shut down his computer when Abby came into the squad room.

"What are you still doing here?" he asked, putting on his jacket.

"Had to do some cleaning down in the lab."

"You don't have anything else to do on a Sunday?"

"Ah," Abby just waved it off. "It needed to be done. Plus, I kind of made Kate a collage of our Comic-Con pictures for her birthday next week. And I needed my quiet for that."

Storing away the information about Kate's birthday away for later use, Gibbs nodded as he accompanied Abby to the elevators.

"You want to come visit the nuns with me?" she asked. "They haven't seen you in ages."

"Yeah," Gibbs said rubbing the back of his neck. "Can't today."

"I get it," Abby replied, raising an eyebrow. "You want to meet up with whoever you're texting all the time, right?"

"What?" Gibbs checked back irritated.

"Oh, you know what I'm talking about," Abby grinned. "You don't need to tell me anything. I'm just happy you're happy."

"Abby, there's no one," Gibbs replied, suddenly feeling a bit anxious without really knowing why.

"You keep telling yourself that, no problem," Abby grinned and then skipped out of the elevator, waving at him.

Gibbs stood there for a moment, shaking his head, wondering when he had become that obvious. That particular train of thought made his heart skip a beat. Obvious about what? He didn't have a special someone. There was no new woman in his life. _That's because Tony isn't a woman_ , a voice in the back of his mind made itself perceivable, but Gibbs wouldn't listen. Not this time. It was just plain stupid to think stuff like that. Just when he climbed into his truck, he felt his phone vibrate in the pocket of his pants. It was a new message and Gibbs didn't need to check the number to know that it was Tony.

 _We need to talk._

 _I know._ Gibbs wrote back, feeling his insides freeze at the mere thought of having to let Tony go. _Case is closed. You want to come over to my place?_

 _Can't leave my apartment. Too much press. Can you come over?_

Gibbs furrowed his brow wondering how many journalists had had to be in front of Tony's apartment for him to give up his address. But then again, if the press knew where he lived, it couldn't entirely be a secret. After agreeing, Tony sent him his address and explained how to get into the apartment without being seen and Gibbs was on his way.

He parked his car where Tony had instructed him to and then entered the apartment building, desperately trying not to look out of place as he walked into the lobby from the backdoor. Immediately, there was a man, who couldn't have been older than twenty-five, approaching him to shake his hand.

"You must be Mr. Gibbs. I'm Andy, Tony's manager."

Gibbs shook his head, slightly startled at the enthusiastic greeting and at the same time slightly weirded out as to why Tony would ever hire someone like Andy to be his manager. He seemed to be that kind of guy that Tony hated. Young, hip and pretentious. Gibbs thought back to the couple of times that Tony had mentioned him and realized that Tony didn't really like him after all. He followed the young man into the elevator and then towards Tony's apartment door. Tony let him in and then Andy thankfully disappeared again.

Gibbs looked around the apartment and realized that while the building itself seemed a bit pompous, Tony's furnishing wasn't. His leather couch was comfy as Gibbs sat down, accepting the beer that Tony offered him. A huge TV was hung on the wall and Gibbs stared unblinkingly at the huge wall of DVDs that was to his left side. What surprised Gibbs even more, though, was the piano that stood on the other side. For a fleeting moment he had the strong urge to make Tony play a song, but then he remembered that the last person who had played for him had been Kelly and he didn't want to be distracted by his memories like that. He needed to focus on Tony before this thing between them got even more awkward.

"Hope Andy didn't annoy you too much," Tony raised him from his thoughts as he sat down next to him.

Gibbs just shrugged, not wanting to offend the other man.

"You hated him, didn't you?" Tony laughed, raising an eyebrow at him. "You can tell me."

"I…", Gibbs started unsure of what to say. "Don't know why you hired him? Doesn't seem like your kind of guy."

"He's not," Tony conceded. "He just… knows too much."

"About what?"

"Me?" Tony simply answered and Gibbs realized with a start that he probably didn't want to know. Not now anyway.

"Why is there so much press out there?" he finally said before taking another sip from his beer.

"You haven't heard?" Tony asked; his bubbly self from seconds ago having vanished, only to be replaced by a pensive version of him. Gibbs knew though that both of those Tonys were sincere.

"No?"

Tony got up, went into his kitchen and returned with three newspapers in his hand. He handed them over to Gibbs who took them with a frown. He opened them and then drew back his head when he read the headline.

 _I'm carrying Tony DiNozzo's child!_

Underneath it was a photograph of a beautiful woman in her twenties and an article about it but before Gibbs could read it, Tony jumped in.

"She claims that we had sex half a year ago and that she's pregnant with my child."

"You know her?" Gibbs asked, seeing the slight insecurity in the other man's eyes. He didn't know what to make of it though. He was sure, however, that Tony would step up to his responsibility if the kid really was his.

"Yeah," he nodded, rubbing a hand over his face. "She was at a movie premiere in LA. She was like really forward. And trust me she really wanted to hook up with me. But I… we didn't."

"How come these magazines believe her? It's not like the have proof."

"It never matters," Tony sighed, shaking his head. "But you believe me?"

Gibbs didn't answer immediately, instead looked at Tony who was staring right back at him with such vulnerability on his face that he had to hold himself back from giving him a hug. Of course, he did believe him. He had never lied to him before and only just looking into those green eyes was enough for Gibbs to know that he wasn't playing games like that.

"Of course," he said shrugging. "But it's not okay that this lady and the press are lying like that. Can't you do anything about it?"

"My lawyer's already on it. But I don't think I can avoid taking a paternity test once the kid's born. They'd never leave me alone."

"This sucks."

"You tell me about it. I swear I wouldn't ever have become an actor if I had known how bad it can get. I mean, I knew that fame is a double-edged sword but I didn't think that I'd never have a moment for myself."

Gibbs just nodded wondering just how many people he would have already shot if it were him. That brought a slight smile on his face which he tried to hide by taking another sip from his beer.

"Why do the vultures believe her anyway?"

"Because they want to. Any scandal sells well. Sex sells even better. Scandal combined with sex and the sales are going through the roof. They don't care that it might not even be true. It just doesn't matter. They claim it's true because there is one photo of her leaving the hotel I stayed at that night in the early morning hours. I had no idea she was there. I know I shouldn't worry about it too much. I mean I know the baby can't be mine and all but still…"

Gibbs nodded again as if he understood what he was going through. Once more he wanted to give the man next to him a hug, but he didn't know if he would even appreciate the sympathy. Why was he aching to touch the younger man anyway? He had never been a touchy-feely kind of person, not even with Shannon, so where did the need come from now?

"Can't you just tell them that she's lying?" he finally said, only to have to think of something else.

"Who would believe me? Hell, I wouldn't believe me either if I've read all the articles about me and who I was dating."

"That so?"

"Yeah. I doubt they'll believe me if I tell them that I haven't slept with a woman in over five years."

"You didn't?" Gibbs couldn't help but ask, even though he knew that he probably didn't want to know. "But all these women…"

"They were all a cover," Tony said, shaking his head, his green eyes suddenly fixed on Gibbs' blue ones. "Not really interested in women these days."

Gibbs gulped but felt unable to avert his eyes. God, this was exactly what he had wanted to avoid. But it seemed like Tony knew him too well even after only just two weeks together because he just kept him in place with a simple stare.

"Who are you interested in, then?" Gibbs asked foolishly, the words tumbling out of his mouth without his consent.

"You."

Sure, Gibbs had known before, hell, the guy had practically told him the night before in the basement but still, the words hit him like a lightning. Right until now he had fooled himself into believing that Tony was probably just playing with him but as he looked into his eyes now, he could only see sincerity in them. It suddenly unnerved him to no end. Before he could dwell on it for too long, though, Tony had continued to talk.

"I know you think you can't do this because I'm a guy," he said, his voice calm and quiet. "But can you give me an honest answer?"

Gibbs just nodded.

"If I were a woman, how long ago would you have kissed me?"

Gibbs blinked and wanted to laugh at the silliness of the question but then he _really_ thought about it. He replayed his dates with Tony – and honestly, if he looked back at them now, they did seem like real dates, too – and then felt his heart miss a beat. _Hell._

"Probably when you left my house that day after the rainstorm," he finally admitted grudgingly.

That brought a smile upon Tony's face but it vanished soon enough.

"Okay, so now that we've got that settled," he said wryly, "we can tackle your fear of kissing boys."

"I'm not afraid of kissing _boys_."

"I think you kind of are," Tony replied and then held up a hand when Gibbs opened his mouth to protest. "I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. You didn't know I was gay and if you did you probably wouldn't have let it go on as long as you did. I get it. But you still went out with me and I could tell that you enjoyed yourself. You even smiled from time to time and I can tell you don't do that often. All I want from you is to think about this thing if I were a woman. You already said that you would've kissed me. And I don't think you kiss any woman you meet. So you must like me, too. So what's the big holdup? Are you afraid that someone will challenge your manhood or something if they found out that you like me?"

"No," Gibbs answered, shaking his head before pinching the bridge of his nose. "That's not it."

"Then what is it?"

Gibbs remained silent for a few moments, trying to come up with the right words. He didn't want to hurt Tony because, well, he _did_ like him. A lot. But it would never work. He knew it and Tony should know it, too. It wasn't just the guy thing, though. There were so many other things.

"Tony," he finally started, trying to get eye contact again and succeeding when Tony looked right back at him. "The thing is I don't do casual very good. This could never work."

"You're right," Tony replied, his eyes suddenly seeming cold.

Gibbs blinked once and twice and a third time. He knew he was right. This thing would never work. But why was Tony suddenly agreeing with him?

Gibbs didn't get it.


	10. Fake

_A/N: Thanks for your reviews!_

* * *

 **Fake**

Gibbs stared at the other man, trying to figure out why he suddenly agreed with him. Hadn't he just told him to get over his fear of kissing another man, just to say the exact opposite now? Tony was still looking back at him impassively. The coldness had vanished from his eyes but Gibbs was sure that that was on purpose. God, he hated the fact that the guy was such a good actor. It almost made it impossible for Gibbs to read him and he despised that fact. It had always been his strength to gauge other's reactions, but it was no use with Tony now.

"What?" he finally said, not quite sure what to say.

"This casual thing," Tony shrugged and averted his eyes from the older man to look at his knees instead. "It won't work."

"I know," Gibbs replied but still watched him attentively in case Tony would slip up after all.

"Gibbs," Tony finally turned to look at him again and with a sinking heart Gibbs realized that his expression was the honest one again. "It wouldn't work because I don't do casual."

Gibbs blinked and then looked away. He stared at the blank screen of Tony's TV for a moment and tried to get his heartbeat under control. Tony didn't want this thing to be casual - even though Gibbs didn't want this thing at all. He pinched the bridge of his nose as he subtly shook his head.

"And frankly," Tony continued apparently unaware of Gibbs' inner turmoil, "I'm hurt."

"Why?" Gibbs asked exasperatedly.

"Because I thought you knew me better than that. I thought you'd know that I don't want a fling or a friends-with-benefits-thing. I'm tired of that. I want something deeper and more meaningful. And I thought you knew that; I thought that you'd gather that from our talks. And still here you are, believing the press' stories about me even though you claim that you don't even read them."

"I don't," Gibbs replied, slightly aggrieved by Tony's accusations. "I don't read the trash and I do know better. But Tony, listen. How can it be more than a casual thing?"

"What do you mean?" Tony checked back and when Gibbs looked at him, he could see the confusion on the other man's face that he had heard in his voice, too.

"What do I mean?" Gibbs asked, letting out a sarcastic bark of a laugh. "What I mean is… how do you expect this to work? You'll be here for what? Another week? And then what? Last time I checked you're living in LA. That's not exactly nearby. So how do you imagine this to work? You fly here every weekend? I won't be able to go to your place, ever. As you've seen this weekend, even when I'm not on call, I kind of am."

Tony was rendered speechless at Gibbs' outburst. Gibbs hadn't raised his voice but looking at Tony now it seemed like he had. The younger man had leaned back, his eyes fixed on a point right above Gibbs' head. Gibbs could almost see him think. It didn't matter though. Gibbs knew he was right. It wouldn't – couldn't – work like this.

It took Tony a couple of moments to answer this time but when he did, Gibbs was surprised at how steady and forceful his voice sounded.

"You were a marine once," he said. "You were away from home for long stretches of time. You made it work then. How is this different?"

Gibbs let out a sigh and ran a hand through his hair. Logically speaking, Tony was right about that but still this was something entirely different to back then. His heart ached, just thinking about all the time he hadn't spent with Shannon and Kelly.

"It's different," he replied quietly, causing Tony to lean forwards again. "I was young then, thought I had a whole life to spend with Shannon. I still haven't forgiven myself that I was away when it happened. I could have prevented it and all." He stopped for a moment, drawing in a deep breath. He still didn't know how it could hurt so much even after all these years. "Anyway… yes, I've done this before and that was enough to know that I don't want to waste time like this again."

"But you aren't in a warzone this time," Tony tried again but trailed off when he saw Gibbs shake his head.

"Neither was Shannon back then."

Silence started to spread and for a long time neither Tony nor Gibbs spoke. The older man knew that he had taken the wind out of Tony's sails, but he also knew that the younger man was probably not finished yet. Deep down, though, Gibbs realized that there was no way either of them could recover from that. He hated using Shannon against Tony but in the end it had needed to be done. He knew it and Tony would understand, too, some time.

"So, you're saying that you can't do this," Tony made a hand gesture between them, "because you can't do a long distance relationship."

"Yeah," Gibbs nodded.

He almost apologized when he saw the hurt in the other man's eyes. He didn't know how much of it was real and how much of it was fake, but Tony seemed to be genuinely taken aback and it hurt Gibbs more than he had thought.

"So if I lived here or you lived in LA, you'd give this a chance?"

"I don't know," Gibbs answered truthfully because he hadn't expected the question in the first place. "Does it matter?"

"I think it does," Tony nodded, his eyes holding an underlying honesty. "It means that I was right about you after all. And it also means that you might be a better actor than I am. I mean I almost bought your act of you not being into me. I was seriously doubting myself that I've read your signs wrong."

"What signs?" Gibbs asked, unable to hold himself back.

"You know," Tony gestured around aimlessly once more. "It wasn't actually obvious. But well, you did seem like you enjoyed being around me. And you have no idea how hard it is to find someone who likes me for me. Someone who doesn't spend time with me because I'm famous or because I have money. If anything, you seemed to despise the fact that I'm fairly popular. It was such a breath of fresh air."

Gibbs remained silent once more, not exactly sure what he was supposed to say to that. Tony was right of course, he didn't give a damn about how famous Tony was. He liked him, it was as simple as that. With a sinking heart, he also realized that Tony might have been right about another thing, too. For all his acting like he didn't like Tony like _that_ , Gibbs' heart hurt more at the mere thought of not seeing the younger man again after today. And Gibbs knew that it would be like that. They couldn't start something – especially when Gibbs still wasn't sure he even wanted anything like that – and he was quite sure that Tony wasn't in this because of a friendship. Gibbs was a horrible friend on good days and Tony probably knew that deep down, too.

Tony, who had been looking at his coffee table for the last couple of moments, suddenly fixed his eyes on Gibbs again and the look was so intense all of a sudden that the older man had to use all his willpower not to look away. While he had thought he had seen sincerity in Tony's expression before, he had to realize that it had all been an act until now. This was what Tony looked like when he was being totally honest. And as if someone had flipped the switch, Gibbs could see regret and oddly enough determination glistening in his face. Before he knew what to do with this revelation, Tony edged closer, his eyes looking into Gibbs'.

"So, thanks," Tony started to speak again, his voice barely above a whisper, which in return made something in Gibbs' stomach flutter. "For being real with me even when you weren't."

Gibbs just nodded as he watched Tony's glance flicker from his eyes to his lips and back up again.

"So," Tony continued, while his stare was still so intense that Gibbs hadn't managed to look away yet. "Friends?"

Gibbs felt himself nod even as Tony inched closer. For a moment the older man was sure that he would just look away but he found himself unable to do so. Instead, Tony had tilted his head ever so slightly now and before Gibbs could even form another thought about how wrong this was, the younger man had lifted his head the inch forward that was needed to press his lips to Gibbs'.

 _Fuck._

Tony's mouth was open to get the necessary air and for some reason so was Gibbs'. The heat was immediate and so overwhelming that for a second Gibbs' mind didn't catch up with its sweetness and wetness until Tony's hands were at the back of his head, drawing him impossibly closer. One thumb was stroking the skin underneath his earlobe and Gibbs involuntarily let out a moan that was drowned out by Tony as his tongue found its way into Gibbs' mouth. He wanted to protest but then he just stopped thinking. All he could do was taste and _feel_. God, the guy could kiss.

But then, just when Gibbs was about to kiss him back thoroughly, the younger man let go, his hands falling to his sides as he sat back, breathing heavily.

"Sorry," he finally said. "I just… I know you didn't want to."

"It's okay," Gibbs replied and meant it, too.

He, too, was still trying to catch his breath and it wasn't only because of the kiss. Gibbs knew that it had been intense, and hot, and god, it had been so good, but he also realized that it would probably be the only kiss he'd ever get. He felt his heart miss a beat at the thought of it, but deep down, he knew that there was no other way.

He was glad that he'd gotten it.

"I shouldn't have kissed you," Tony whispered now, shaking his head. "But I meant what I said earlier. If you can't do this," once more he gestured between them. "I want to be friends."

"I'd like that," Gibbs replied, while internally, he was still reeling from the kiss. "Don't have many friends these days."

"Neither have I, real ones that is."

Once more, Gibbs nodded before he ran a hand over his face, trying to form a straight thought.

"I should go," he finally said, his voice sounding rough all of sudden.

"Yeah, you should," Tony replied as he got up. "I'll text you later?" he then continued, not sounding too sure about it.

"Yeah," Gibbs nodded and then, despite himself gave the man in front of him a one-armed hug. "I'm sorry," he whispered into Tony's ear before he let go.

The younger man just nodded and then Gibbs turned around, leaving the apartment and Tony behind.

#

Days passed and while Gibbs knew that he had made the right decision, he couldn't help but feel like he was missing something. Even now, as he watched Kate unwrap the gifts for her birthday, he wasn't really paying attention. While work had always managed to keep his head on straight, it didn't seem to do the trick this time. He had found his thoughts straying, had found himself thinking about Tony more than he cared to admit. But it didn't matter. It didn't change anything. Tony had still gone back to Los Angeles and Gibbs was still in DC.

"Wow, thanks Abby," Kate raised him from his thoughts.

"That's not from me," the Goth answered as she walked around Kate's desk to look at the DVD the former Secret Service Agent was holding in her hands.

Gibbs started to thumb through the file in front of him, trying to suppress a grin. He had asked Tony to sign the DVD of his football movie, which wasn't even out yet. Tony had done him the favor, including a 'Happy Birthday Kate'. Apparently, it had the effect that Gibbs had hoped for.

"Who is this from then?" Kate asked now, practically beaming as she looked around the small group of people that were gathered around her.

Everybody just shrugged as Gibbs watched them out of the corner of his eyes. He saw Kate shrug, too, now. She was still staring at the DVD in her hands and Gibbs figured that she would soon be investigating about the present-giver, but he knew that she would never suspect him.

He felt his phone vibrate in the pocket of his slacks and he pulled it out. He knew it was from Tony in an instant. Not that it was hard to do because he still remained the only one who ever texted him.

 _Did she like the gift?_

Gibbs shook his head, wondering how Tony knew that Kate had just opened it, but maybe sometimes there was such a thing as a coincidence after all.

 _Sure looks like it. Thanks again._

 _No problem._

Gibbs pocketed his cell again and then loudly cleared his throat.

"Go home," he said. "Before we catch another case before the weekend."

It did the trick and soon, his agents filed out the squad room. He caught Abby give Kate and McGee instructions where to park later and Gibbs realized that they were probably going out that night. He internally shrugged. He was looking forward to a quiet weekend with his boat as it would help him forget the last couple of weeks and he was sure that a couple of glasses of bourbon would make him miss Tony's company less, too.

Sometimes, life could be so easy.


	11. Real Cases

_Thanks for the reviews! The focus of this chapter is a bit different, but you'll see why. Hope you'll like it anyways._

* * *

 **Real Cases**

Gibbs looked around, zipping up his coat. It had gotten cold in DC and the crime scene in front of him didn't exactly warm him up either. They had been called out first thing in the morning but nobody had relayed the details of the murder yet. The local police had already closed off the perimeter, so that it was easy for Gibbs to process what was in front of him. A woman, around 30, was lying in the wet grass completely naked safe for the dog tags around her neck. From what it looked like, she had been there for not too long. He told Kate to sketch and McGee to take photos and then went to the police officer in charge.

"Special Agent Gibbs, NCIS," he said. "What have we got here?"

"A jogger found the woman about two hours ago," the policeman rattled off, looking at his notepad. "We checked the dog tags and then immediately called you guys."

"The corpse been touched?"

"Only by the jogger who wanted to make sure that she's really dead. He's over there."

He pointed towards a black haired man just behind the police tape. Gibbs nodded at the officer and then went over to the man who looked a bit shell shocked at his discovery. Gibbs introduced himself, ignoring the vibrating phone in his pocket.

"Gibbs, NCIS."

"Jonah Parker," the man said, not quite looking him in the eye. "I found her when I was on my usual morning run. God, this is so awful."

"You know her?" Gibbs asked, scrutinizing the man in front of him. Something seemed off about him but he couldn't quite place what it was.

"N-No," Parker said shaking his head.

"You sure about that?"

"Yeah," for the first time the man looked at him and Gibbs realized that maybe he was telling the truth after all.

"Okay, if you think of something, let us know," with that, Gibbs handed over his card and then went back to check up on Kate and McGee.

#

It wasn't until he was already back at his desk that he remembered his phone. He pulled it out and then suppressed a smile when he saw Tony's message to him. They hadn't seen each other in almost three months, hadn't talked in just as long and while at times, especially when he was home alone, he missed him like crazy, but the text messages had made his absence a bit more endurable. It wasn't like they ever talked about that evening at Tony's apartment, but the messages had helped Gibbs to get over whatever had been going on.

 _Hey!_ Tony's message read. _Guess what._

 _What?_ He wrote back, not entirely sure if he was amused by Tony's antics or annoyed.

"What have we got so far?" he asked, holding back a grin when both McGee and Kate sprang up from their chairs to assemble in front of the big screen.

"The victim is Maureen Holtz," McGee said. "Honorably discharged two years ago. Unemployed ever since. She lived with her mother, Anna Holtz, in a small apartment here in DC until the mother died five months ago."

"That all?" Gibbs inquired, knowing that they couldn't have much as they had only just gotten back. It never hurt to keep them on their toes, though.

"Afraid so," Kate said.

"McGee," Gibbs said, "You check her bank account and find out how she could afford the apartment after her mother died. Kate, you're with me. Let's go see how she lived."

When he got into the elevator, his phone vibrated again and he pulled it out, making sure that Kate couldn't snoop. She had long given up on asking who he was texting, but he was sure that the interest in it had not waned a bit.

 _I'll be in DC for a week starting tonight. Want to meet up?_

Gibbs felt his stomach clench at the mere thought of having to face Tony again, but at the same time he knew that he really wanted to see the guy again. God, he still didn't know what to think about this whole thing. Once more, he discarded his worries and wrote back.

 _Yup. Just caught a case, though. Can't plan anything._

He tossed the keys to Kate who caught them with a raised eyebrow but didn't say anything as she got into the driver's side of the car. She sped out of the garage into the direction of the Holtz's apartment just when Tony's answer came.

 _I'll leave my evenings free in any case._

Gibbs didn't answer this time instead put the phone back into the pocket, trying to focus on the case. He wanted it closed really quickly.

#

Kate and Gibbs had thoroughly searched the apartment but couldn't find much to go on despite the fact that she was living better than one would think of somebody who'd been unemployed for a couple of years. There was an expensive Hi-Fi system and according to Kate even more expensive jewelry. Just when he was about to call McGee to ask if he had found anything suspicious in her bank account, Abby's number flashed on his phone.

"What have you got, Abs?" he asked in lieu of a greeting.

"Hi, Gibbs. Ducky sent up a picture of a tattoo on Maureen's shoulder. I sent it through the data base because I thought it was vaguely familiar and it turns out I was right. You read about these prostitute murders, right?" At Gibbs' affirming grunt, she continued. "Anyway, all these women wore the same tattoo. Gibbs, I think, our victim is one of them."

"Good work, Abs," Gibbs said, feeling his heart sink at the mere thought of hunting another serial killer. "Call the local police and have them transfer their findings to us."

With that he hung up and soon after they were on his way back to the Navy Yard. And, of course, there was no chance in hell, he'd see Tony tonight.

#

"Sit rep."

For the second time that day, they gathered around the screen, but this time it was Kate's turn to sum up what they knew.

"Maureen Holtz is supposedly the fifth victim of the same murderer. The killer always strangles his victims to death the same way and then leaves them in a park or other secluded places without security cameras. The police don't have much to go on because, well, it's prostitutes and nobody really wants to give anything away."

"The tattoos," McGee chimed in now, receiving the clicker from Kate to show the photos to Gibbs. "Seem to be some sort of brand, most likely from the pimp. The first victim," another click and there was a beautiful yet haggard looking woman to be seen on the screen. "Tonya Williams left her last suitor at around twelve o'clock. He reported later that she seemed frantic and repeatedly told him to help her get out of there. Only she never specified what 'there' meant exactly. As he was too ashamed to call the police, she left on her own. He was probably the last person to see her alive. He only came forward when he saw her in the news. His name is Jasper Christensen."

"That's the local newscaster!" Kate cried out as she saw the photo.

"Yup," McGee just said. "That's why he didn't want to call the police in the first place. Doesn't look good for him."

"Anything on the other three victims?" Gibbs asked, feeling something clench in the pit of his stomach and not in a good way this time.

"Not yet, but we're looking into it."

"I've got something," Abby said as she practically ran towards them, holding a flash drive thingy in her hand.

She plugged it into McGee's computer and then snatched the clicker out of his hand.

"I've checked the security cameras around the place where they found Maureen Holtz. I wasn't really confident I'd find something, but you never know. And guess what."

She pressed play on the security footage and seconds later, Gibbs was able to see Holtz get out of a brand new Mercedes at a gas station. It was obvious that she was crying but when a man got out behind her, it was obvious that she wasn't afraid of him.  
Gibbs felt Kate stiffen up next to him and he looked at her, raising an eyebrow.

"What?" he asked.

"That's… that's," Kate all but stuttered, her eyes still glued to the video that now showed Maureen running away before it cut off. "That's Gilbert Lions."

"Who?" Gibbs asked and then sent Abby a sharp look when she snorted.

"Really Gibbs, you need to watch more movies," she only said in reply. "That's Gilbert Lions, world known movie star. He's been nominated for an Oscar three years ago."

#

"Mr. Lions," Gibbs sat down across from the actor in the interrogation room.

The guy hadn't come quietly as they took him from his huge villa just outside of DC, shouting about lawyers and money and who knew what else, but now that he was sitting there, he seemed oddly small.

"I'm sure you know why you're here."

"No clue," the actor spit out and immediately Gibbs knew that he didn't like the guy one bit.

"Have you seen this woman?" he asked, not paying attention to the man opposite of him, as he showed him a picture of Maureen Holtz.

Lions remained silent for a couple of moments, but Gibbs could see in his expression that he wouldn't lie about it.

"Yes," he finally said as he sat back. "What is this about?"

"She's dead. Murdered."

"Oh my," the actor let out and shock was clearly perceivable now. "I… I… only saw her yesterday."

"We know," Gibbs replied, showing him a picture of the video that showed the two of them. "Why was she crying?"

"I don't know really," the actor began but then stopped short. "The press will love this. My whole career… if anyone knows about this…"

There was a tear running down his cheek now, but Gibbs was almost sure that it wasn't a real one. Something seemed a bit off there. But once more, Gibbs didn't know what exactly it was.

"Nobody will found out about this," he said reassuringly. "If you help us."

Lions nodded again, running a hand over his face. "I was at this club last night. _Trojan's_. It's a high society club. I knew it was a good place to pick up… women."

"Prostitutes, you mean?"

"Yeah," he nodded. "They're really discreet there and I've been there before, too. There was nothing unusual until we got into the car and she suddenly became frantic and started to cry. She wanted me to take her out of the state, but refused to tell me why. She only said that her boss would kill her if she didn't follow his orders. I tried to calm her down but it was no use. After I said that I wouldn't help her if she didn't tell me what it was about, she told me to let her out. So, I did."

#

"So, we go to the place and interrogate the owner?" Kate asked a couple of hours later.

They all had decided that Lions was telling the truth and having the newscaster telling a similar story to the police a couple of weeks earlier, it seemed like the pimp was their guy. What they didn't know was how they should get a hold of him. The victims didn't seem to have a connection to one another despite their work at _Trojan's_ and their obvious preference for famous and rich men.

"No," Gibbs answered after a moment of contemplating Kate's suggestion. "If we do that, the pimp or whoever is responsible for the murders will be warned. We cannot risk that."

"So, uh," McGee chimed in. "We go undercover and try to get lucky with one of the girls?"

"That won't work," Director Morrow suddenly spoke as he all but ran down the stairs towards them. "From what I could gather from Gibbs' report earlier, we'd need someone famous to attract the girls."

"Yeah, right," Kate snorted. "No offense, but I bet it's not exactly easy to get one of them to be our bait."

"It's not like it would be very dangerous," Morrow said.

"Yeah, even if it isn't, I doubt that anybody here knows someone," McGee spoke up, even though he was taking a step back from the director as if to protect himself from his wrath.

For a moment everybody was quiet as Gibbs looked from Kate to McGee to Morrow, he suddenly realized something. He _did_ know somebody… and he was sure that Tony would do it in a heartbeat, too. Plus, Morrow was right, it wasn't exactly dangerous. He'd just need to pick up one of the girls…

"I'll make a call," he then said to the room in general.

"Who are you calling?" Kate inquired, her eye big, but Gibbs didn't answer as he pulled out his phone and went to find a quiet place, his heart suddenly working overtime at the thought of hearing Tony's voice again.


	12. Real Friends

_A/N: Thanks for the reviews! :-)_

* * *

 **Real Friends**

"You want me to do what?" Tony asked sounding a bit surprised at Gibbs' question. Gibbs could just picture the frown on his face.

"I'm just asking. No harm done if you don't want to do it. We'd basically just need you to go into that night club and chat up one of the prostitutes there. My team will be around you all the time, no danger at all."

Tony remained silent on the other end and just when Gibbs got a little antsy as he'd been sure that the other man would do them the favor, he finally answered, sounding sure of himself again.

"Okay, I'll do it. But you'll be there at all times, right?"

"Of course, wouldn't let you do that alone."

"Then I'm in. Should I come in right now?"

"You got time?"

"Yeah."

Gibbs quickly delivered the address and the best way to sneak into the building without being seen before he hung up, his heart feeling lighter than it had been all day. He was about to see Tony again and even better, he'd be able to work with him and see much more of him than originally planned. All he had to do was clear him with security and try to explain how he knew Tony to Abby and Kate. They were going to kill him that much was sure.

#

When Tony arrived at the Navy Yard an hour later, Gibbs was about to shoot either McGee or Kate. They'd been nagging him about who the unknown famous person was to a point that Gibbs was on the verge of just cancelling the stint. He knew that it could only get worse once they had laid eyes on Tony, but he knew that it needed to be done in order to stop the murders. He was still feeling a bit queasy inside, though he couldn't tell whether it was because of seeing the man again or because of the undercover gig itself. He finally decided that he didn't need to know anyway. It wasn't like it made any difference.  
The elevator in the back dinged and then Tony stepped out, accompanied by a security guard. Gibbs just nodded at the young man who promptly vanished back into the elevator before he gave Tony a short but heartfelt smile as he shook his hand.

"Hey. Good to see you again."

"You, too," Tony replied, grinning that fake broad grin again.

"If anyone asks, we met on a case, years ago," Gibbs all but whispered as he guided him towards his team.

Tony just nodded and when Gibbs looked back at him, he realized that while he was still smiling, his eyes had a watchful expression within them. He was clearly on guard. Before he could dwell on it for too long, though, they were standing in the middle of the bullpen and the older man could only just hold himself back from laughing out loud. McGee was sitting there, staring at them with his mouth hanging open, his eyes so wide that he looked strikingly similar to a goldfish. But Tim was nothing in comparison. Kate, who had been checking up on the other three victims of their case, had looked up and then immediately turned red in the face. Alike McGee, her mouth was open but her eyes were darting around as if to make sure that the world was still the normal one and hadn't just shifted upside down. Also, Gibbs was almost sure that he had seen her pinch herself. He smirked at Tony who just raised an eyebrow at him.

"I take you haven't told them that I was coming?"

"Nope," Gibbs was laughing now, which only led to more confusion on Kate's part. "Wanted to see this."

"Hi," Tony said, the brightest of smiles on his face, as he approached Kate to shake her hand, which she had almost automatically reached out. "I'm Tony."

"I- I know," Kate was whispering causing Gibbs to snicker. "I'm Kate."

"And I know _that_ ," Tony replied, winking at her which made Kate sit down immediately. "And you must be McGee," he continued as he walked over the youngest agent to shake his hand.

"You know, Gibbs," Tony said as he turned around to look at him, "I thought you said they're talking too much. You might be mistaken."

"You were calling _Tony DiNozzo_?" Kate finally found her words as her eyes danced from Tony to Gibbs and back to Tony. "All this time you knew him and you never told me?"

"That any of your business, Agent Todd?"

Kate remained silent, but her eyes shot daggers at him which caused Tony to laugh.

"Don't be too hard on him, Kate. It's my fault. I usually like to keep my friends quiet."

"You guys are _friends_?" Kate asked, still unable to hold back her anger.

"Watch it, Kate," Gibbs replied sharply.

He wasn't quite sure why she was so angry and even worse why she felt the need to embarrass him like that. It wasn't like he knew all her friends either. Sure, he wasn't really interested either way, but it was no reason to be so tacky.

"No problem," Tony said and gave Kate a smile. "Let's get to work, right?"

"You got to speak to the director first," Gibbs said, still slightly irritated. "About insurance and stuff. I'll take you."

With that and one last withering glare towards Kate, he guided Tony upstairs.

#

When he came back a couple of minutes later, he let out a sigh when he saw Abby standing in the middle of the bullpen, expectantly looking up at Gibbs. Tony was still with the director.

"You are friends with Tony DiNozzo and you never told me?" Abby repeated Kate's earlier question, though she seemed merely surprised and curious.

"Yeah. Met him on a case a couple of years back."

"Who knew," Abby grinned at him. "I can meet him, right? Please, Gibbs?"

"You'll have to wire him up anyway," Gibbs just shrugged as he sat down at his desk. "Just don't… make a fuss. He's just a person."

"Of course, he is," Abby replied happily. "I wonder if he'll sign the poster in my lab. Oh!" she then let out a shout that caused McGee to jump ever so slightly. "You gave Kate that DVD for her birthday, right?"

Gibbs just shrugged, still a bit pissed at Kate's behavior earlier. It was stuff like that that Tony hated and Gibbs had really wanted him to like his team.

Wait… what?

What did it even matter? Tony wasn't likely to see them again after the case was finished up. His mind was playing tricks on him once more and he wasn't quite sure when it would stop again. Something about the guy had him off kilter all the time and he had no idea how he could put an end on it. It was driving him crazy. Before he could think about it for too long though, Tony re-emerged from the director's office with Morrow in tow.

"Gig's tomorrow night, Gibbs," Morrow said, standing on the top of the stairs. "And no more surprises."

With that he turned around and Gibbs fixed his glance on Tony again, who was all but staring at Abby.

"You seem familiar," he said when he approached her to shake her hand. "Have we met before?"

"I was at Comic-Con a couple of months ago when you were signing autographs here in DC. I'm Abby."

"Oh yeah," Tony replied, nodding ever so slightly. "You were wearing those gloves with the skulls on them!"

"You remember?" Abby cried out, smiling broadly at the actor in front of her.

"Sure," Tony just shrugged as if it was no big deal.

And it wasn't really, Gibbs realized, not to Tony at least. He could tell however that he had just made Abby's entire week.

"Alright people, let's get to work," Gibbs finally ordered, knowing that they didn't really have any time to lose.

"Oh, bossy," Tony replied under his breath which caused Abby to giggle and Gibbs to scowl at him.

It was going to be a long couple of days.

#

"Some cool people you got assembled there, Gibbs," Tony said as he sat down on the couch in his apartment.

Gibbs did the same next to him, letting out a sigh.

"Don't know what is up with Kate. I swear I've never seen her act so strange. I mean she worked for the President, don't get why she would be thrown off course like that by you."

"Maybe it's because I look so much better than Mr. President?"

"Shut up."

The day had gone by without a hitch. They had laid out the plan, had tested if all the wires were working and had decided to go to the club the next night as it wasn't open today. It gave Gibbs the opportunity to spend a quiet evening alone with Tony as there wasn't much to do anymore.

"Really appreciate you helping us."

"No problem. Sounds kind of exciting," Tony replied, bumping his shoulder against Gibbs'. "And I mean it's not like anything can happen."

Gibbs didn't answer, not wanting to jinx it but deep down he knew that Tony was right. Nothing would and probably even could go wrong. Gibbs would make sure of that.

"What are you doing here anyway?" Gibbs asked after a while, suddenly realizing that Tony hadn't told him yet. "Promotion?"

"Nope," Tony shook his head. "Got a bit of time for once. Andy's visiting his parents in Montana this week and I had it all to myself, so I thought why not fly out to DC and visit my dear friend Leroy Jethro."

Gibbs snorted but when he turned towards Tony, he realized that he was telling the truth.

"Seriously?"

"Yeah," Tony shrugged. "I mean I meant it when I said I wanted to be friends. And while I'm glad we've been texting as much as we have, I still like actually talking and seeing the other person a whole lot better."

"Me, too," Gibbs replied unable to hold himself back. "And then I come in and you have to work."

"That's right," Tony grinned. "You're a lousy friend."

"Told you," Gibbs just replied and then looked around the apartment, his eyes settling on the piano. "You play this thing?"

"Haven't in a while," Tony shrugged. "You want me to play a song?"

At Gibbs' nod, Tony followed his wish and began to play. Gibbs watched in awe as his fingers skillfully glided over the keys. Gibbs knew the tune well. Kelly had played the very song over and over again, too. It was 'Ballade pour Adeline' and Gibbs suddenly felt something in his stomach constrict at the way Tony played it. Even when Tony had already finished, Gibbs was still staring at the now unmoving keys of the piano unable to tear himself away from them.

"You okay?" Tony softly asked, apparently sensing Gibbs' mood.

"Fine," he just said, forcing himself to look at Tony. "Just haven't heard that song in over ten years."

"Someone special played it for you, didn't they?"

"Yeah."

"Shannon?" Tony asked as he walked over, sat down next to him and then carefully placed a hand on Gibbs' thigh.

"N-No, not Shannon."

Tony remained silent for a while, clearly waiting for Gibbs to elaborate, but he didn't do him the favor. He simply couldn't tell him about Kelly. Not yet, anyway. He never talked about her and after the last painful hour of truth, when he had to tell ex-wife #4 about her, he had sworn to himself that he wouldn't talk about her if it wasn't strictly necessary. It just hurt too much reopening the wounds.

Tony, however and very unlike the ex-wives, didn't press the matter, instead just softly squeezed the older man's thigh and then let go, putting a smile upon his face.

"I know you're not a movie kind of guy, but do you want to watch the newest James Bond? It's the last starring Pierce Brosnan. It's pretty good."

"Sure," Gibbs nodded, giving him a tentative smile.

"Alright," Tony said, still smiling and still watching him a bit warily. "I'll get the bourbon and then we're good to go."

"You got beer, too?" Gibbs asked, hating that his voice sounded a bit shaky. "Still got to drive tonight."

"I've got a guest room, too, if you want to stay here. I can see you really want some bourbon."

Gibbs snorted and then nodded. "Alright, bourbon it is."

#

They didn't speak much after that as they both enjoyed the movie. When Tony put on another James Bond later on, Gibbs didn't complain because he was feeling too drowsy already to do so. It was simply cozy sitting there next to Tony who was all but radiating heat.

And if Gibbs fell asleep halfway into 'Diamonds are forever', nobody said anything about it. And if his head was resting on Tony's shoulder, it was just because it was much more comfortable there. And if Tony gave him a peck on his cheek as they parted to go to their respective beds, it was just something good friends did.

Nothing unusual at all.


	13. Real Anxiety

_A/N: Thank you!_

* * *

 **Real Anxiety**

The next morning saw Gibbs wake up feeling a bit confused about his whereabouts before he realized that he had slept in Tony's guest room. He had been too sleepy the night before to look around when he had dragged himself to bed, but now he had to admit that the man had good taste and possibly an obsession with very large TVs. Grinning to himself, Gibbs reached for his overnight bag and then quickly dressed. When he stepped out of the room, he could already smell coffee and bacon.

"You made breakfast?" he said, his voice still a bit rough from sleep.

"Yup. Not often that I have guests over," Tony gave him a smile. "Plus, we have to eat. It's going to be a long day."

He handed Gibbs the plate with bacon and eggs and then placed a fresh cup of coffee in front of him.

"Thanks."

Tony just gave him another smile as he sat down opposite of him and dug in. For someone who had told Gibbs again and again how much work his body was, he sure ate a lot. No, he didn't eat his breakfast, he wolfed it down. Gibbs grinned once more and then began to eat, idly trying to remember when someone had last made him breakfast.

#

A couple of hours later did Gibbs check the wires for the tenth time. They had just sent Tony into the club. He knew that there was no reason to be nervous and still when they had started their little mission, he wished that they could go in together. Even knowing that he would follow the other man a couple of minutes later didn't do anything to calm his nerves. Something was gnawing at his gut but he couldn't quite place a finger on it. He looked around the surveillance van and saw Kate intently watching the video feed that was livestreaming the club from Tony's collar cam. Despite himself, Gibbs bit back a grin as he saw the women practically swoon over the newest guest and the men watch him with undisguised terror. They probably saw their hopes dashed. If they only knew…

Finally having enough, Gibbs got out of the van and nodded at McGee who was lounging around outside the club. He paid the entrance fee and then he was in, being instantly violated by the loud dance music. Abby would have loved it here that much was for sure. He looked around for a bit until he located Tony who was already surrounded by a couple of women. The younger man was talking to them animatedly but Gibbs could tell that he was keeping a safe distance between him and the women. Gibbs quickly checked out the women himself trying to find some sort of tell if there was a prostitute amongst them, but couldn't find any. So he walked a little closer and then waved at Tony, who did the same in response.

"Charlie," Tony cried out, waving Gibbs over. "Come here," he tilted his head towards a couple of free seats at the bar. "Sorry ladies, I'm here to meet an old friend of mine."

The women looked displeased but one by one they walked away. Gibbs honestly was surprised by that. He had expected it to be much harder. They sat down and ordered a beer each. Gibbs gave the room a cursory inspection and realized that most of the people were still openly staring at them.

"You're quite the attraction."

"Yup, that's me," Tony grinned as he took a sip from his beer. "How long do you think it'll take?"

"Not long, I guess," Gibbs shrugged. "They're mostly straight-forward."

"You got experience?" Tony quipped and Gibbs itched to give him a head slap. He'd save that one for later.

They made meaningless small talk for about half an hour, carefully avoiding talking about anything important because they both knew that Kate and McGee were listening in. Gibbs still stole glances around the club until his eyes stopped at two women who were standing at the far side of the bar, talking to each other animatedly and stealing glances at Tony. For a moment one of them leaned forwards and Gibbs could just make out the trademark tattoo on her shoulder. He elbowed Tony none too gently and then tilted his head towards the two women.

"We're in luck," he whispered.

Tony just nodded and then Gibbs stood up, patting Tony's back as if saying goodbye and then he walked over to the other side, careful about keeping a watchful eye on Tony. The younger man remained alone for another couple of minutes but then, sure enough, one of the women Gibbs had seen earlier approached him and took Gibbs' empty seat. They began to talk but to Gibbs' utter dismay he couldn't hear much of it despite his earplug. The music was just too loud. So he concentrated on trying to read body language.

The woman was soon leaning closer to Tony and while Tony didn't pull away from her, Gibbs could clearly see that he had gotten a little stiff in the way he was sitting there. Gone was the relaxed state of mind, but the woman didn't seem to notice. Gibbs tried to focus on their conversation again, but he just caught tatters here and there - nothing he could go on. Only when the woman rubbed a hand up and down Tony's back, did he know that Tony's acting had apparently worked.

Gibbs felt his heart beat faster in his chest as Tony leaned closer to her, whispering something into her ear as he brought a hand to her thigh. The way he smiled at her seemed genuine in the darkness of the club and Gibbs suddenly itched to go over there and tell him to let go. Tony wasn't hers to take. He belonged to him.

Gibbs stopped at that particular train of thought and shook his head. He had no right to think that way. No right at all. He had after all put an end to Tony's advances. It still bothered him, though, how easily the younger man had gone to touch the girl next to him. Gibbs took a deep breath and then slowly breathed out. Of course, Tony was doing all these things, he was on a mission and Gibbs realized that he would do the same if their roles were reversed. There was no reason for him to be jealous.

Even if it was damn hard to ignore the sinking sensation in his stomach every time the woman touched Tony.

Finally after what seemed like hours to Gibbs, did Tony stand up with the woman following his lead. He took her hand and then walked her out the club. Gibbs trailed them at a reasonable distance. Once outside, he could finally hear them talking again.

"My car's over there," Tony was now saying. "I've got a driver waiting if that's okay for you."

"Anything for Tony DiNozzo," the woman replied and Gibbs realized that she sounded a little daunted. "I just want to get out of here."

"You okay?" Tony checked back and it was clear that he was honestly concerned.

"Yeah."

They stayed silent for a few moments and Gibbs watched them walk towards their agency car. Just when they were almost at the car, there was a man wearing a hoodie crossing their path. He didn't stop them but it was clear that he was scrutinizing them for a moment.

"Night, J-Man," the woman said, sounding light-hearted again.

The man didn't reply and if he had nodded, Gibbs wouldn't have seen it because he was too far away.

"Who's that?" Tony asked curiously and Gibbs felt a little proud at his investigator skills.

"Bartender of the club. Usually goes out to have a smoke. Nice guy."

Again there was silence except for the banging of the car doors as they got in.

"Where are we going?" she asked after they had already started driving and Gibbs had already jumped into the van to follow them.

"To my place," Tony replied, sounding rather confused and Gibbs realized that he hadn't expected a question like that.

"To your _house_?" she replied. "As much as I'd love that, we can't."

"Wh- Why not?"

"I'm only allowed to go to certain hotels with my clients," she said, sounding uncertain herself. "I mean, I'd love to go to your place, Tony. I'd love to see how the most handsome man on earth lives, but I… I can't do it."

"How would anyone know where we were?"

"Trust me, he'll know."

"Who?" Tony asked and Gibbs couldn't help but grin.

Tony really was _good_.

"No need for you to know," the woman replied easily, but a bit too fast.

By now they were about two blocks away from the club and the driver of the car had been told to make a stop there in order for them to tell what was really up.

"Why are we stopping?" she asked and now fear was clearly perceivable, even over the speakers.

"I have to tell you something, Mandy," Tony said softly now as if not to rile her up. "We're not really going to my place."

"What are you talking about?" she sounded frantic now and Gibbs hoped that Tony would explain it to her quickly.

"I'm working with NCIS. I'm sure you know about the dead girls."

"I-I don't know what you're talking about, let me out. I've got nothing to say to you."

"No, listen," Tony said now and Gibbs immediately knew that something was wrong because he was almost pleading now. "We're here to help you."

"I don't want your help!" she cried out and there was shuffling to be heard and then a muffled grunt from Tony.

For a second, Gibbs wondered why the driver didn't do anything against whatever was happening but then there was a gunshot to be heard and Gibbs felt his insides clench.

"Tony," he cried out and into the intercom. "Tony!"

There was no answer just more shuffling and then silence.

"Goddamn it," Gibbs swore as they finally rounded the corner to where Tony's car was supposed to stop.

He couldn't see much as he got out of the van. It was too dark out and he couldn't see into the car as it had tinted windows.

"Tony?" he tried again but once more, he didn't get a reply and his instincts told him that something just went terribly wrong.

God…

"NCIS," he shouted, his weapon drawn as he approached the unmoving car, with McGee and Kate doing the same next to him. "Get out of the car."

Gibbs tilted his head to indicate that Kate was supposed to cover for him. She did just that and then Gibbs inched closer and shouted one more time.

"Get out of the car."

Still, there was no movement from inside, so Gibbs took a deep breath, trying to get his nerves in check and then opened the door. He felt his heart miss a beat as he was faced with the barrel of a gun.

"Drop the weapon," he heard McGee shout behind him but he didn't really pay attention because he had just noticed the bloody hands that were holding the gun.

 _Whose blood was that?_

Where had this all gone so wrong? Why hadn't they anticipated that a prostitute carrying a gun was a possibility? Goddamn it, when had he become so sloppy?

"Drop the weapon," he finally found his words again, knowing that time was maybe a matter of life and death. "Drop the weapon and everything will be okay."

The woman's face finally came into his view and there were black streaks on her face from where tears had smeared her make-up. Her hands were slightly shaking and Gibbs realized that maybe, maybe he'd have a chance to get out of this alive.

"Give me the gun and I promise, nothing will happen to you."

"N-No," she stammered. "You'll take me to jail."

"Not if you tell me who you shot," Gibbs said now, almost softly.

"Nobody," she replied and Gibbs let out a shaky breath. "I-I missed."

"Then why is there blood on your hands?"

"I-I," she started, but a sob interrupted her. "I hit Tony with the gun."

"Is he alright?"

"I-I don't know. His nose is bloody and I don't think he's conscious."

"Okay," Gibbs let out a soft sigh. "Okay. Now give me your weapon, so that I can take a look at him, okay?"

Mandy nodded once and then finally handed over the gun. Gibbs took it and then gripped her arm and hauled out of the car, sure that she wouldn't do more harm. She had probably just freaked before. Kate got a hold of her and then Gibbs quickly got into the car.

"You okay, Fred?" Gibbs asked, his eyes glued to Tony's bloody face.

The driver just grunted. "Sorry, before I could see she had a weapon, she had already shot."

Gibbs didn't reply as he took stock of Tony's injuries. His nose seemed to be broken and he was clearly unconscious. Wincing ever so slightly, Gibbs took hold of Tony's face and then softly slapped him.

Tony's eyelids fluttered for a moment or two before he looked up at Gibbs, who let out a relieved sigh as he saw the green orbs.

 _Thank God, he was alright._

"Can you hear me, Tony?" he whispered, his face only inches away from Tony's.

"Yeah."


	14. Real Contemplation

_A/N: Thank you for your reviews!_

* * *

 **Real Contemplation**

Half an hour later Gibbs argued with the nurse in the emergency room. He had told her when they first came in that they'd need more security guards at the doors as the press was sure to come. Of course, nobody had listened to him and now at least ten photographers were crowding the waiting area.

They had brought Tony in, but as far as Tony could tell, he didn't have a concussion, at least the younger man wasn't disorientated and seemed mostly fine except for his bloody nose. He had complained on the drive over that it would surely stay crooked and that nobody would think of him as handsome anymore but Gibbs could tell that he wasn't serious about it. In fact, the actor had asked more than once about the prostitute and Gibbs was sure that he really cared how she was. The older man had McGee and Kate handle her and he was sure that she was by now sitting in one of the interrogation rooms at the Navy Yard, waiting for him. But there was no need to hurry. First, he had to make sure that Tony was alright.

And sure enough, another nurse soon approached him, talking to him in a whisper so that the vultures couldn't hear her. She led him into Tony's room and to Gibbs' relief the younger man was sitting up. When Gibbs entered, Tony looked up and gave him a crooked smile.

"I'm fine, Gibbs," he said before he could even ask. "It's just a minor fracture. Nothing's deformed or anything. A couple of packs of ice and a few pain meds and I'm as good as new."

"Good," Gibbs just nodded. "So can I take you home?"

Tony wiggled his eyebrows in an obvious attempt of a sexual innuendo which just caused Gibbs to grin, but the younger man became serious again in almost an instant.

"I'd rather accompany you to NCIS. I'd like to know what Mandy has to say. If that's okay?"

"Sure," Gibbs nodded. "Just have to avoid the vultures."

"They're already here?" Tony sighed letting his head fall back.

"I know the hospital pretty well, I guess we can use the backdoor and nobody will know."

"You here often?"

"More than I'd like to admit," Gibbs replied wryly. "Come on, got a job to do."

"On your six, Gibbs."

#

"Miss Stonewell," Gibbs said as he sat down across from the woman who had knocked Tony out.

"I'm sorry," Mandy replied, sobbing quietly. "I didn't mean for that to happen. Is Mr. DiNozzo alright?"

"He is," Gibbs nodded. "And he's willing to drop any charges against you if you help us."

"I…," she stuttered and let out another sob. "I… c-can't."

"Why not?"

"If I tell you, he'll kill me. Just like he did with Maureen and the other girls."

"Did you know that they tried to run away on the nights they were killed? They wanted their suitors to take them to safety."

"I knew," Mandy nodded. "I tried to tell them that nobody would help them because of what we do. But they wouldn't listen."

" _We_ 're helping you," Gibbs replied, but fell silent when Mandy shook his head.

"I can't tell you. He'll find out about it somehow and then I'm dead, too. I'm not stupid, Agent Gibbs. The moment I open my mouth, he'll have me killed."

"No, he won't. We'll make sure of that. Whoever it is, we'll catch him and you're safe."

"Can you guarantee that you'll find him?"

"No," Gibbs relented. "But if we don't, we can still protect you."

Mandy remained silent and wiped away her tears. When she finally looked up, Gibbs could see the resolve in her eyes.

"When I tell you… can you tell Tony that I'm sorry?"

"You can tell him yourself, I promise. He's here."

"Okay," Mandy nodded and then started haltingly. "Jonah started harassing us about half a year ago. He'd take away our money, would decide where we go and who we'd go with. Before that he was really nice, would let us keep most of the money we made and he'd keep us safe. But then… I don't know what happened… he suddenly tried to control us, would only let us go to certain hotels and would call every hour. First we all thought, he wanted to keep us safer but then he'd hit us for no good reason when we didn't call him immediately after we were done. It only got worse. But whenever someone tried to get away from him, she'd be dead the next day. It was terrifying."

"Do you know Jonah's last name?" Gibbs prodded, his voice soothing.

"Parker. Jonah Parker."

"Jonah Parker?" Gibbs checked back incredulously, remembering the jogger who had called the police about finding the corpse of Maureen Holtz. "Black hair, athletic?"

"Yeah," Mandy nodded. "Tony saw him earlier before we got into the car."

"You think he's still in the club?"

"Doubt it. I'm sure someone already told him about what happened in that car."

"Okay," Gibbs stood up, knowing that they didn't have time to lose. "Thank you. I mean it. We'll keep you here until we've sorted everything out. You did the right thing."

"Thanks Agent Gibbs. Were you telling the truth when you told me I could apologize to Tony?"

"Yeah," Gibbs replied. "I'll send him right in."

#

"I'll have to warn you about something," Tony said as they drove to Gibbs' house almost four hours later.

Due to some miracle, they had managed to bring Parker in without too many difficulties. He had confessed after some probing from Kate and some threatening by Gibbs and the case was closed. Tony had hung around at the Navy Yard after he had managed to calm Mandy down. He had claimed that he didn't want to go home yet because of the press but Gibbs had been sure that he actually liked watching them work out the kinks of the case. It was good research for his future movies and he seemed to have real interest in their work, too.

"What is it?"

"Whenever I take pain meds I get kind of… loopy."

"You seem fine," Gibbs said, eyeing him warily.

"That's because I haven't taken any yet. Wanted to wait until going to bed. Less embarrassing."

"You must be really _loopy_ if you decide to hurt instead of just going home and take the damn pills."

"It's not that bad, really," Tony shrugged. "Plus, this way I could talk to Mandy and watch you guys do all the magic. It's been great."

#

"Thanks for letting me stay here," Tony said as he sat down on the couch and looked out the window where the sun was just rising. It had been a long night.

"Least I can do. My fault you're hurt."

"It's not your fault. I wanted to do this, remember? I'm just glad you got the killer."

"Yeah, still. If she had actually shot you…" Gibbs trailed off, staring at the far wall of his living room.

"But she didn't," Tony said bringing a hand to Gibbs' thigh. "I'm fine. Nothing happened."

"Yeah," the older man replied, wiping a hand over his mouth, trying to ignore the sinking feeling in his gut as he thought about the gunshot. "I just didn't know what happened. The camera wasn't transmitting anymore and we didn't know if you were still alive."

"Hey," Tony cut in sharply. "It's okay."

"It's not," Gibbs replied quietly, finally turning to look at the man next to him. "For a second I thought I'd lost you. For a second I thought that it was all my fault… I… I…"

"Shh," Tony interrupted as he took Gibbs' hand. "You didn't lose me. I'm still here, okay?"

Gibbs nodded, biting his lower lip as he looked right back at Tony's eyes. For a moment his thoughts strayed to Shannon and Kelly and how it had been his fault, too. He hadn't protected them just like he hadn't protected Tony tonight.

"Don't even think about blaming yourself," Tony whispered, apparently having read his mind once more. "You saved me."

Gibbs didn't reply, just looked into Tony's eyes before his own eyes traveled down to the younger man's lips and back up. And before he could dwell on his thoughts for too long, Tony had brought his hand to his cheek, cupping it gently. His thumb brushed across Gibbs' lips as he searched his eyes questioningly as if looking for some sort of apprehension. Apparently he found none because he leaned forward and then captured Gibbs' lips with his own. Gibbs' eyes closed at the touch, at the kiss that was soft and tender. Time suddenly stood still and there were just Tony's lips and after a few moments his tongue as it explored his mouth. When Tony backed away ever so slightly, ending their kiss, Gibbs opened his eyes again. He was breathing heavily and he suddenly felt like something had just locked into place. Before he could say anything, Tony let out an involuntary yawn and then a laugh.

"Sorry, I guess I'm more tired than I thought."

"'s okay," Gibbs replied distractedly before he got up, clearing his throat loudly. "Come on, I'll show you the bedroom. I'll crash on the couch."

"You sure? I don't want to chase you away from your own bed."

"Nonsense. Come on. And take those damn pills."

"Yes, sir," Tony saluted with the wrong hand and then followed him up the stairs.

#

Gibbs had tried to sleep but he had to realize soon that it was to no avail. After he had brought Tony to bed, he had lain down on the couch but his thoughts were swirling around his head without abandon. The kiss had replayed in his head again and again and the more he thought about it the better it had gotten. Without a doubt, Tony was a good kisser and the kiss itself seemed to hold much more of something that Gibbs couldn't name. He knew that he shouldn't have let Tony kiss him, but it was only half the truth. He could have stopped him, should have stopped him, but at the same time he had needed to make sure that the other man was indeed alright, was still here with him and not dead. But it was more than just reassuring himself and Gibbs was beyond lying to himself by now.

It had felt good – and he had wanted it, too. Did that mean that he actually wanted the other man? And did that mean that he was in fact gay – or bi – or whatever? And - did it really matter? He knew that it mattered to him, but he also knew that it didn't matter to Tony. The guy just let himself be who he was and hadn't Gibbs liked him from the very moment he had first shown him his true colors without even knowing that the guy would be interested in him like that?

Gibbs didn't know what to think anymore and still his thoughts were circling around the kiss and the fact that he couldn't seem to get over it.

#

At ten o'clock in the morning, Gibbs finally gave it up. He got up, switched on the coffee machine and then opened his front door to get the paper.

When he bent down to pick it up, though, he realized that he wasn't alone. Half a dozen photographers were there, busily taking pictures of him, hurling questions at him which he couldn't quite understand. Gibbs quickly closed the door behind him to keep the flashes outside and then leaned against the door from the inside.

What the hell?

Gibbs tried to remember whom he had told that he'd take Tony home with him, but he couldn't remember mention it at all. What was even weirder was the fact that the vultures were there now. What the hell did they think they would find?

Gibbs let out a sigh. He walked into his kitchen, filled a cup with coffee and then sat down at the kitchen table. Only now did he look at the headline and the photo underneath it and his heart missed a beat.

Well, _shit_.


	15. Real Troubles

_**A/N: Sorry for the longer wait this time. Work's been crazy this week. I was, however, floored by your reviews on the latest chapter. Thank you so much! Hope you'll like the next chapter, too.**_

* * *

 **Real Troubles**

Gibbs stared at the headline, trying to actually take in what it said. It had to be some sort of bad joke because even the press couldn't be that dense. It didn't even make sense. But sure enough, there it was and with a photo to prove it. Or so they thought. It was a picture of Tony being guided out of the car by Gibbs after they had arrested Mandy. The headline read:

 _Tony DiNozzo arrested for having sex with a prostitute._

Gibbs didn't have a clue why he hadn't noticed the paparazzi when he had taken the photo but he guessed that he was too preoccupied with helping Tony to pay much attention to anything else. He skimmed the article which claimed to know an insider who told them that Tony had already been arrested for the same reason the previous year and that he was most likely to go to court for it this time around. Gibbs knew it was utter bullshit. How the press could get away with it was beyond his imagination. He understood that the yellow press would publish stuff like that but this was the local newspaper – a serious paper. Hadn't anything happened yesterday that was more important than the alleged arrest of one Tony DiNozzo?

It wasn't only that, though. How had the press known where Tony was staying? Gibbs hadn't told anyone and he was pretty sure that Tony hadn't either.

Gibbs let out a sigh before he sipped from his coffee. It was ridiculous. How could Tony live like this? Never once being really alone? Reading the lies day in day out? Gibbs was sure that this kind of story would follow Tony for the rest of his life, even though it wasn't even remotely true. Would the press believe him if he told them the truth? Gibbs wasn't even sure about that.

#

When Tony finally trotted down the stairs about two hours later, Gibbs hadn't really managed to think it through. He had no idea how to handle any of it and he hated every second of it. But he knew that Tony would know what to do. He had probably done it a hundred times before.

"Morning," Tony mumbled, rubbing the sleep from his eyes, mindful of his nose, which Gibbs found adorable.

 _Adorable? What the hell?_

"Morning," he replied, discarding the weird thought.

"What's wrong?" Tony asked apparently having realized that something wasn't quite right.

"There's press right outside the house. Might have taken a couple of pictures of me when I got the paper."

"What?" Tony peeked out the window and then let his chin fall towards his chest. "God damn."

"It's not even the worst thing."

"Huh?"

Gibbs just pushed the paper towards the younger man and then watched him closely to gauge his reaction. His emotions were clearly visible for once, ranging from surprise to anger to devastation.

"These… those fucking…"

"I know," Gibbs tried to calm him down by putting a hand on his arm and Tony did seem indeed to take a couple of deep breaths.

"No, you don't," Tony retorted, though it didn't seem like he was angry at Gibbs. "Just when you think you catch a break, they're coming with another curveball. This is so ridiculous, it doesn't even make sense."

"I know and I'm sure that people know that, too."

"Most of them don't," Tony shrugged. "It's always more exciting to believe a scandal than to see the truth. I've got to call my lawyer because this is something I can't let slide. This is too big."

"Any way I can help?" Gibbs asked.

"I'll probably need some sort of official statement that I was helping with a case. You think that'd be possible?"

"I guess," Gibbs answered slowly. "As long as make sure that it was your free will to help us, I don't know why NCIS couldn't."

"Okay, that'll help. I'll call my lawyer."

"I'll call Morrow," Gibbs picked up his cell phone and then continued as if adding an afterthought. "Hey Tony? I'm sorry."

"Not your fault," Tony sighed. "It's fine."

#

Two hours later, a call from Gibbs to the local police and they had finally managed to have the press removed. Tony had talked to his lawyer over the phone for the majority of the time and it was only the snippets of the conversation that Gibbs had caught here and there that made him feel uncomfortable. Repeatedly Tony had told his lawyer that he was sure that he (and Gibbs had the strong suspicion that that was him) wouldn't have told anyone. Just like he hadn't. Who had, though? It really was an excellent question.

"Hey, I'm sorry for all of this," Tony said as he all but threw himself onto the couch next to Gibbs. "This is so not how I wanted to spend time with you."

"How _did_ you want to spend time with me?" Gibbs asked raising an eyebrow, even though, deep down he knew that he shouldn't have said that. It would just lead to more questions and he wasn't quite sure if he was ready to answer them just yet.

"I don't know," Tony shrugged, one corner of his mouth quirking up. "I liked what we were doing last night before we went to bed, that's for sure."

"Me, too," Gibbs replied before thinking but realized it was worth letting it slip as he saw Tony's face lighting up.

"Did you, now?" Tony asked, grinning. "And you're admitting it, too. Must have been a great kiss."

"It was," Gibbs shrugged.

"Yeah," Tony started and then trailed off as his eyes locked into Gibbs'.

Gibbs knew what was coming and yet he still felt surprised when Tony just leaned in. While the kiss the night before was soft and almost tentative, this one was most definitely fierce. Tony's arm came to a rest on the backrest of the couch while he used the other one to grab Gibbs by the collar of his shirt to draw him closer. Gibbs didn't hesitate this time as he kissed him back thoroughly, bringing his own hands towards Tony's hips. It just felt natural all of a sudden and he wasn't quite sure what he had been afraid of before. He let Tony have control over the kiss and realized that he liked it not being the one to call the shots for once.

It was only when one of Tony's hands snuck under Gibbs' shirt that Gibbs came to his senses again. As hot as the touch was, he wasn't ready for it. He felt himself stiffen up and Tony let go of him soon after, apparently realizing that Gibbs wasn't comfortable anymore.

"What's wrong?" he asked, his eyes searching Gibbs'.

"Nothing," Gibbs shook his head subtly. "Nothing's wrong."

"But you're not comfortable."

It wasn't a question and Gibbs once more wondered how the man just understood him like that. He meant to answer but then realized that he didn't know why he was uncomfortable all of a sudden. Kissing Tony had felt good, had felt right, too, for some reason that Gibbs wasn't entirely convinced he should investigate more closely.

"I…," he finally said. "I like this," he gestured around rather aimlessly between them.

"But you don't want it?"

"No, I think I do," Gibbs replied, furrowing a brow.

"You're just not ready, yet," Tony sat back and then ran a hand over his face. "I get it," he sighed.

"You're mad," Gibbs stated but that just earned him a scowl from the younger man.

"No, I'm not mad. I _do_ get it. It's just… I really like you, okay? Like really, really like you and I don't say that easily to anybody. And I would've been okay with just being friends but you kissed me last night and here I was hoping that you've changed your mind. But maybe I was wrong."

"No," Gibbs all but cried out as he held himself back from touching the other man. He needed to think clearly for this. "You weren't wrong. I couldn't get my head around you. The last couple of months when I didn't see you were easier because I was able to fool myself into believing that we were just friends. But now that I've seen you again, I realized that it wasn't quite that simple. I just… I need more time, I guess."

"Slow steps you mean?" Tony asked, a smile spreading on his face and this time his eyes were lighting up, too.

"I guess, yeah."

"I can do slow," Tony nodded. "I mean, I'm not used to slow, but for you I'll wait."

Gibbs just gave him a tentative smile and for a moment he felt happier than he had in a long time. Something still wasn't quite right, but he didn't let himself think about it at the moment. Maybe it would work out nonetheless. Maybe it was nothing. Maybe it was…

"Hey," Tony raised him from his thoughts, the smile still on his lips. "You call the shots, okay? I'm fine with whatever for now."

Gibbs nodded and wanted to answer as he saw Tony's expression cloud. His glance had traveled towards the window and when Gibbs turned around he could see another photographer outside on the street. The older man got up and quickly drew the curtains, blocking the guy out of view.

"How do you think they know?" he asked then, through gritted teeth.

"I have no clue. Who have you told?" Tony asked, fiddling with the seam of his jeans and suddenly looking nervous.

"Nobody," Gibbs said, slightly taken aback that Tony thought he would have told anybody about it. "I didn't even tell the team."

"Then how do they know? I mean, I certainly haven't told anybody anything… wait," he said, his face suddenly having gone red. "I did tell one person."

"Andy?" Gibbs guessed and when Tony nodded, he knew that he had been right. Still it didn't make much sense. The guy wasn't even in the same state at the moment.

"But he wouldn't tell anybody," Tony replied slowly, but it didn't sound like he was convinced himself. "Come to think about it," he then continued more quickly as if he'd just connected the dots in his mind. "It's been a couple of times that he's been the only one to know where I was and the vultures still found me. I mean… that evening we were out on a run? He knew where we were… and he's been the only one to know that I helped you guys, too."

"You think he snitched on you?"

"I don't know," Tony shook his head. "It never crossed my mind before but now that I think of it, it makes so much sense. Maybe I just didn't want to see it."

"What are you going to do?"

"Call him," Tony shrugged. "And confront him."

"I hope you're going to fire him," Gibbs replied, suddenly feeling angry himself. "I mean the guy probably cost you lots and lots of alone-time. That's not acceptable."

"I don't think I can," Tony mumbled, averting his glance.

"Why not?"

"He knows too much. Knows I'm gay. He'll rat me out if I fire him."


	16. Real Truths

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews!**

* * *

 **Real Truths**

"You can't do that, Andy."

Gibbs watched Tony talk to his manager on the phone. He had started out calm, had actually asked if Andy had told the press about his whereabouts. Apparently he hadn't denied it and that was when all hell broke loose. Gibbs had never heard Tony raise his voice, as he had always been calm and balanced around him and now that he heard it, he was glad not to be on Tony's bad side because the guy sounded lethal. Andy, on the other hand, apparently wasn't afraid of his boss because after a short pause, Tony replied coldly.

"Fine, you're fired."

Again there was silence when Tony listened and Gibbs could almost see the color drain from his face. He intuitively took a step closer towards the younger man and then laid a hand on his arm because Tony was by now breathing heavily and Gibbs could tell that he was on the verge of losing his temper once and for all.

"I don't care," Tony finally said. "Do whatever the fuck you want to do. I'm through with you. You can't blackmail me – not anymore."

With that he ended the call and then continued to stare at his cellphone for a few moments, apparently surprised at his own courage.

"What happened?" Gibbs asked stupidly as if he hadn't heard Tony's end of the conversation to know what's going on. "What did he say?"

"He didn't even deny that it was him who has always called the vultures. Thought it was a good idea to have me on their radar all the time because more press is always good press. But what the fuck? He knew I hated every second of it, he knew all I wanted was my quiet from time to time. And what does he do? He calls them every goddamn time he can. God, I can't believe I didn't see it before."

"Sometimes you don't want to see things as they are," Gibbs shrugged as he gently guided the younger man towards the couch. "It happens to the best of us."

Tony nodded and then rubbed a tired hand over his face. Gibbs hadn't seen him like that before. He looked utterly defeated and the older man didn't like it one bit. He was clearly exhausted but at the same time Gibbs knew that Tony wouldn't get the chance to rest, not yet anyway. There was still something about the phone call that made him uneasy.

"You said something about blackmail?" he finally went on as Tony stayed quiet and Gibbs hated it when he was quiet, it was so out of the ordinary that it made him uneasy.

"Yeah," Tony sighed, sitting back and staring up at the ceiling as if it held all the answers to his questions. "I wanted to fire him a couple of times already but he always told me that he'd tell the vultures that I was gay."

"I take it that hasn't changed?"

"No, but I have," Tony replied and he suddenly sounded stronger again. "I'm tired of being pushed around by him. This time he's gone too far. It's one thing booking me for every goddamn promotion tour there is, but it's a whole different thing invading my privacy like that."

"What are you going to do?" Gibbs asked while internally he already thought about the chances of getting Andy for blackmail. There probably was a way to have him booked for it – if Tony wanted that but Gibbs wasn't quite sure about that.

"I don't know," Tony answered, putting his head into his hands. "I could wait it out, but they know where I am and it'll be front page – again. There's still this pregnancy and the prostitute thing out there, not sure how much bad press me and my career can stand."

They were dipped in silence for a few minutes and Gibbs felt himself getting more uneasy by the second. He wished he could help him but he didn't know how. He had no idea how to deal with stuff like that and it made him furious. He hated when he had to see his people hurting.

"God, I never wanted this," Tony finally whispered and he sounded so broken now that Gibbs closed the small gap between them and engaged him in a tight hug which thankfully Tony returned without a second of hesitation.

He held him for what seemed like a really long time until his breathing had slowed down a bit. It was then he grabbed him by the shoulders and waited until he finally looked at him again.

"I know you don't want this, but you got it. You'll have to face this Andy problem head-on. Otherwise it won't go away."

"Yeah," Tony sighed again. "I know. I'm sure he's already calling the agencies."

"What _can_ you do?"

"Not much, I suppose. The only thing is telling the truth about Mandy. I've planned that for next week but I guess I can call my lawyer and let him make an appointment on some talk show or another to tell them. I'm pretty sure it can even be tonight if one of the New York talk show hosts will have me."

"What about the other thing?" Gibbs asked quietly and took the other man's hand as he could see that it had started to shake ever so slightly.

"I can't possibly tell the truth. I… I just can't. My whole career would be down the drain."

"Are you sure about that?" Gibbs checked back, at the same time thinking about how it would affect _his_ work if he'd told anyone about this thing with Tony. It probably would get him some strange looks but he didn't think that it would affect the team much at all. They were civilians after all and 'Don't ask, don't tell' didn't apply to them. He could, however, see what Tony was afraid of.

"What if you tell them that you just fired your manager and that he'll probably get every lie possible out to harm you? Would that work?"

"At times like these I really wish I had a public relations guy," Tony sighed, but Gibbs could see that he was giving his suggestion serious thought. "You know," he finally continued after a moment or two while he stroked his thumb up and down the back of Gibbs' hand. "I think it could work actually. I just have to sell it like I mean it."

"If you can sell people that you're a cop running an underground drug cartel, I'm pretty sure you can do this, too."

"Yeah," Tony let out a bark of a laugh before he picked up his cell phone. "I can try."

Gibbs got up to make himself a cup of coffee as he only half-listened to Tony's call to his lawyer. He was still oddly beaten about the viciousness that Andy was radiating but at the same time he was glad that he had apparently managed to calm Tony down somewhat and had maybe even given him an easier way out than outing himself.

Life sometimes really was horrible like that.

#

A couple of hours later, Gibbs felt himself get antsy again. He had been called in to work in the late hours of the afternoon and while it looked like a simple suicide they still had to investigate it as a murder until proven otherwise. He had hated leaving Tony alone but the younger man had assured him that he was fine and that Gibbs couldn't possibly help him. He had gotten a late night gig at a New Yorker talk show that Gibbs had never even heard of, but Tony had assured him that it was as good as it could get at such short notice. Tony had also told him not to worry about him as things would get sorted out in no time.

He was just looking up some possible leads in their case when Abby came running towards them, her eyes glowing as she grabbed the remote of the screen in the bullpen.

"Tony's on TV!" she cried out at Gibbs' questioning gaze. "He'll clear things up about the incident last night. I couldn't believe they printed that," she added, her voice sounding a bit troubled. "How is he handling that anyway?"

"He's used to it," Gibbs just shrugged, earning himself a raised eyebrow from Kate.

"You guys really are good friends," she observed as she walked around her desk to stand next to Abby to have a closer look at the television set. "I thought you just said so but didn't really mean it."

"When did I ever say something I didn't mean, Kate?" Gibbs replied sharper than he had intended and he could actually see her take a step farther away from him.

However, he was distracted from his own anger towards Kate's irrational behavior by a loud 'Shush' coming from Abby as the talk show came back from a commercial break. Tony was already sitting next to the host, and only now did Gibbs recognize him as the favorite of his second wife. He had always grudgingly watched the show with her, but didn't know why people thought the host was good. His interviews sometimes lacked empathy but that was maybe because he didn't have the time to hide his reactions all the time as the show was always live and not taped like most of the others. For a moment Gibbs felt his stomach clench. He forcibly tried to relax again, knowing that Tony knew what he was doing. Everything would be fine.

The interview started with a couple of jokes and while Tony was smiling broadly and laughing at the right times, Gibbs could tell that he wasn't feeling comfortable at all. The way his eyes were darting all over the place all the time clearly told him that he was hoping it soon would be over.

That was also why Gibbs was almost relieved when the host held the paper into the cameras that displayed Tony's alleged adventure with the prostitute.

"What was up with that?" the host asked and he was still grinning ever so slightly and all what Gibbs wanted to do was punch the grin right off his face.

"What the press will believe," Tony replied, letting out a fake laugh. "See, somebody sees something or hears something and then everybody believes and prints it. While it is true that I was in that car," he pointed at the paper again. "With a prostitute, it was because I was helping out NCIS to catch a killer. No big deal really," he continued, shrugging, and he seemed to be so relaxed that Gibbs let out a deep breath, too. "Just a favor for an old friend."

"Can you prove that?"

"Sure," Tony shrugged again. "And because I knew you'd ask, I have a legal piece of paper signed by the director of NCIS personally."

He handed it over and the host, who wasn't surprised at all by the way the internet was taking (and Gibbs supposed that they had talked it through beforehand), held the paper into the camera again.

"That's really noble of you," the host said.

"Like I said, it was no big deal. Just wanted to do what's right."

"Isn't he great?" Abby let out and then softly boxed Kate.

"I know, Abby," the agent replied, her eyes still glued to screen in front of her. "I've met him."

"How come the press has it in for you like that?" the host interrupted their conversation and the two women fell silent as the camera showed Tony's face again.

Gone was the relaxed posture again and Gibbs knew what was coming. This was the serious part of the interview and he could tell by the way that Tony was smiling that he was, after all, nervous about it.

"Scandals sell well and I'm fairly well-known. They'll dig everything up and then blow it out of proportion."

"Fairly well-known he says," the host laughed into the camera. "He's the most paid and most recognized actor in the world and yet so humble which makes it even weirder that everybody seems to be out to get him. So, tell me, Tony, why do think that is?"

"I've been pretty ill-advised a couple of times. Hired the wrong people maybe and sometimes didn't contradict the press because I thought it wasn't worth the effort really."

"What has changed your mind this time?"

Tony shifted in his chair and Gibbs could tell that he hadn't expected that question.

"This thing was too big not to comment on it," he said with ease, at least it sounded like he was at ease, while his shoulders told a whole different story, but then again, Gibbs was sure that probably nobody had realized that just yet. "This is the kind of thing that can impact your whole career and while I didn't plan to advertise the fact that I was helping out the police, there was no other choice this time. Not with the press acting like that."

"That sounds reasonable," the host agreed but then continued in a somewhat harsher tone. "What about that woman who claims to be pregnant with your child? Was that thing blown out of proportion, too?"

Gibbs watched Tony blink once and twice and a third time and immediately knew that something was wrong. They sure as hell hadn't talked about that beforehand and Gibbs didn't understand why the host would press the matter like that. Then, he remembered that he was part of the press after all and maybe he felt attacked by what Tony had just said, too.

"I mean," the host went on when Tony took a second too long to answer. "There are pictures of her leaving your hotel in quite a hurry."

"And how does that prove anything?" Tony asked back, his tone of voice having turned rather icy while at the same time he was still smiling.

"Well, you can't blame the press for believing something was between the two of you when she looks the way she did that night."

"They could have asked me."

"And what exactly would you have answered? You weren't available for a statement when the news broke."

"Like I said, I was ill-advised at that time."

"So, what are you saying now, then?" the host pressed and Gibbs could hear Abby gulp next to him.

"Why is he being so mean?" she all but whispered, earning herself an agreeing grunt from McGee who had been silent throughout the interview as he hadn't averted his eyes even once since it had started.

"I'm saying," Tony slowly answered, apparently slightly thrown off course and Gibbs couldn't help but wish that he would just stand up and leave the show. "That it's nonsense. I haven't had sex with that woman."

"That's what Clinton said, too and we all know how that turned out, don't we?" Another smile into the camera. "Besides, how can you be so sure? You're well-known for dating a lot of women. Could it be that you simply forgot about her?"

"Trust me," Tony's voice was ice-cold as he answered now and the smile was long gone, too. One would have to be blind not to see that he was on the verge of… something. "I would remember if I slept with her."

"How so?

Gibbs was so spellbound by what he saw on the screen that he hadn't even noticed that he had gripped the edge of his desk so hard that his hand was hurting. He let it go, flexing his fingers but still watching the interview intently. He could tell that it wasn't going as planned at all. He could see that Tony was searching for words, was searching for a way to turn the tide in his favor and was spectacularly failing at it. Gibbs' gut clenched again and only now did he wonder why he hadn't thought about the possibility before that the host wasn't on Tony's side. At all.

He watched Tony bite his lower lip, a sure sign that he was nervous and then take a sip from the glass of water that had been provided to him to buy himself some time. The host remained silent this time, too, apparently knowing that he was onto something big.

"I'm so sure," Tony finally replied and his voice sounded rather shaky all of a sudden and his eyes weren't fixed on either the camera or the host anymore. "Because I'm pretty sure I would remember sleeping with any woman."

Gibbs stopped breathing, feeling his heart sink as he realized what Tony had just done. The room around him had turned very still and he was sure that Abby and Kate weren't breathing either when the host followed up on Tony's answer.

"Are you telling me, you don't sleep with women?"

"Yes."

And now Tony's voice suddenly didn't sound shaky or broken anymore. It was strong and steady and he was looking straight at the camera again as if he had found his own resolve again and if Gibbs hadn't been so floored at the turn of events, he would have been proud of him.

"I don't sleep with women."

Gibbs let out a breath and closed his eyes, afraid of the reaction on both the screen and his immediate surroundings. When he opened them again, he could see the speechless host and could hear loud mumbles from the audience on TV. He could also see Kate and McGee staring at the TV in wonder.

But what made Gibbs' heart stutter and then beat in an erratic rhythm was the way Abby was fixing his glance on _him_. She didn't look away from him even when Tony stripped away the last of the doubts about his statement.

"I'm gay."


	17. Real Fears

**A/N: Thank you! :)**

* * *

 **Real Fears**

Gibbs absent-mindedly noted the reluctant applause from the audience on TV when Tony made his exit. It had grown stronger by the time Tony actually was leaving the studio and Gibbs couldn't help but realize that while it had probably come as a surprise not every person there was as outraged about Tony's outing as the host had been. He had barely managed to string together three sentences and then had just said goodbye to Tony who had looked a weird mixture of being surprised at his own courage and being anxious about the reactions.

"Did you know about this, Gibbs?" Kate asked now and it was only then that Gibbs was able to look away from Abby's piercing look.

She hadn't said anything yet, hadn't even raised a suggestive eyebrow. She had just looked at him, pensive and then – knowing. As if she had just realized the monumental thing that Gibbs had tried so long to suppress, the monumental thing that had only turned into an actual thing the day before. He felt his insides clench at the thought. He didn't know what Abby would do or say and he trusted her, but she sometimes was too enthusiastic about stuff. He didn't know how he could deal with it if she was to talk to him about it.

He wasn't ready yet. Just like Tony clearly hadn't been ready either. It was uncharted territory and for a split of a second, he hated all of it. Hated that he had met Tony, hated that he had fallen for the guy and hated that he wasn't able to keep the situation in check as it was spiraling out of control.

But as fast as the moment had come as fast it was gone again as he remembered why that was. He might have finally found someone who understood him like Shannon had, someone who was just there for him. Abby be damned.

"Yeah," he finally answered Kate's question, shrugging.

"Wow," Kate breathed out, looking so strangely confused that Gibbs would have laughed if he hadn't been dying to get away from them to get a hold of Tony. "You never know," she continued. "I'd never have thought he'd be gay."

"The good ones usually are," Abby replied, her voice smooth but she was still staring at Gibbs who refused to look back at her. "Aren't they?"

"Guess so," Kate sighed and then finally sat back down again. "I wonder if he had it planned? He looked a bit surprised, didn't he?"

"Yup," Abby replied and then –finally- looked away from Gibbs. "The host was really rude to him. Can't believe he kept asking those questions."

"Don't you people have work to do?" Gibbs cleared his throat loudly, trying to avoid thinking about Abby maybe knowing.

It did the trick, though, because the Goth grudgingly went back to her lab and both McGee and Kate were staring at their respective computer screens again. Gibbs was itching to give Tony a call, but he knew that there was likely no way he'd reach him right now. He didn't even want to imagine just how many people were calling him at this moment. With mild satisfaction, Gibbs realized that a lot of people would still be calling his ex-manager. Let him deal with all the press and not earn money from it. Served him right.

Just when Gibbs was finally about to tear his thoughts away from Tony, he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He pulled it out and then read Tony's message.

 _I'm so fucked._

For a split of a second Gibbs thought about texting back but then he realized that he really needed to talk to Tony instead. This was far too important not to. So he got up, only briefly hesitating when Kate opened her mouth to ask:

"Where are you going?"

He just gave her a look and she shut up again, knowing that it was better that way. Mildly satisfied, he stalked towards the elevator, got in and then pressed the stop button before he dialed Tony's number. It took a couple of rings until Tony picked up, sounding oddly defeated.

"You're not fucked," Gibbs said in lieu of a greeting.

"Not so sure about that," Tony replied sighing loudly. "I take you saw it?"

"Abby insisted we should watch. Didn't think we'd watch _that_ though."

"Yeah, me neither. Got no idea how he managed to do that. I swear I liked the guy. Goddamnit."

"It's alright. Forget about him. You'll be alright. Anything I can do?"

"Have you closed your case already?"

"As good as. Suicide."

"Okay," Tony sighed again. "I'll have someone to drive me to DC in a couple of minutes. Can I come to your place?"

"Sure thing. Door's unlocked."

"Thanks." With that, Tony hung up, leaving Gibbs standing there staring at the metal walls of the elevators for a couple of moments.

He felt like Tony had just transferred some of his desperation onto his shoulders and Gibbs didn't know what to do with it. He had no experience with dealing with any of it and he wasn't sure how he was supposed to help. But Tony wanted to be with him, wanted to be at his place, so maybe he could help by just being there.

#

"I feel jetlagged."

"I think we kind of are. Been up all night yesterday and today."

"Yeah," Tony sighed and then sagged into the couch. "God, I can't believe I just outed myself."

"You think it's really going to be that bad?"

"I'll ask you a question," Tony said, looking at him with haunted eyes. "And please answer it truthfully. How much have you hated yourself for liking me even one bit?"

"I didn't."

"Yeah, I think you did," Tony carried on, almost whispering now. "I'm not saying that you actually _thought_ so, but it took you a while to come around. I mean, we've known each other for four months and it was only yesterday that you told me you liked me. I'm not blaming you. I can only imagine how hard it must be when you're older and divorced a couple of times to realize that you might not be as straight as you thought you were. But that's not what is important… what I mean is… Just the fact that you had to think so hard about it shows how most people's mindset about being gay still is. Now you're open-minded and tolerant and all, but just think about all these people who aren't. Can you imagine what I'll get to hear the next couple of months, maybe even years?"

"I'm sure most of them won't care, Tony."

"I'm sure they won't. But the loudest of the others will make my life hell. And I don't think I'm ready for that just yet."

"Well, fuck them," Gibbs burst out and he didn't even know where that came from but then Tony let out a bark of a laugh and some of the tension was leaving his shoulders, so Gibbs knew that it had been the right thing to say after all. "If they don't like you the way you are, they can go fuck themselves," Gibbs continued, giving him a tentative smile. "I know it won't be easy, but you've got people on your side, you know."

"I know. What did the others say? You said Abby watched it?"

"We all did," Gibbs affirmed. "They were okay with it. Just heard something about how the good ones are always gay and that was about it."

"Okay," Tony let out a breath and Gibbs realized that it had apparently taken some pressure from him.

"Tony," Gibbs continued after a little pause. "I know it all seems catastrophic at the moment but maybe it was for the best. You don't have to hide anymore and you don't have to be afraid of being found out anymore. I guess you can't see it right now, but maybe this really is a good thing."

"Yeah," Tony sighed again and for a moment Gibbs thought that he'd try his hardest to make the frown vanish from his face.

"What do you have to do now, publicity-wise I mean?"

"My lawyer's already scouting the parameters. I guess I'll have to go to another talk show to actually _talk_ about it. He's already on the phone with the Ellen DeGeneres show – there I'll get some sympathy at the very least. She has done it before after all. For the rest – I've got no idea."

"The lawyer's nothing like Andy, right?"

"No," Tony let out a bitter laugh. "He's great. He's an old buddy of mine from OSU. He was in my fraternity. I trust him one hundred percent."

"Good," Gibbs gave him a smile. "How can _I_ help?"

"You already did," Tony replied with a smile and then took Gibbs' hand in his. "I just needed someone to talk to. And I already feel better."

"And here you said I don't talk all that much," Gibbs grinned.

"You don't," Tony gave back, relaxing even further. "But you do know when to say the right things. But you're right," he sighed. "I'll just have to wait and see. Nothing I can do about it right now."

"You want to go to bed? Sleep for a couple of hours?"

"I could use some sleep," Tony nodded and was about to get up when he hesitated, giving Gibbs a pensive look.

"I know you wanted to take it slow and all… but do you think you could sleep up there with me? Just sleep?"

He looked so broken for a moment that for a moment Gibbs felt anger at himself bubble up inside of him for even thinking about denying him the favor. Of course he wanted to do it, wanted to keep him company and be there for him and yet there was still something that was holding him back. He hadn't slept with anybody up in the master bedroom since Shannon had died. He'd slept in the guest room with the other wives, but it hadn't been made up in months. Mentally giving himself a head slap, Gibbs got up and took Tony's hand again. He had to get over himself. The guy obviously needed him and he should be glad that he had chosen to come to him and had not just stayed away from him. He should be glad that Tony wanted him there – and he was, all insecurities be damned.

He wanted this.

He guided Tony up the stairs and the watched him strip down to his boxers apparently unaware that Gibbs was watching him. He hadn't seen Tony without his clothes yet and he took his time to appreciate the man in front of him. He was lean and all muscle but not to a point to be too well-defined. He was tan and Gibbs could just make out a long scar on his back before the younger man turned around to face him. When he caught Gibbs staring at him, he grinned.

"Like what you see?" he asked and he sounded almost carefree now.

"Not bad," Gibbs gave back off-handedly and then pulled his polo-shirt over his head.

When he opened his eyes again, Tony was already crawling into bed, yawning widely but still looking at him with obvious interest. Gibbs self-consciously got rid of his slacks and then went around the bed to get in, too. Unintentionally Tony had left him his side of the bed as if he had known that he always slept at the side closest to the window. Suppressing a smile, Gibbs crawled in and then almost tentatively moved closer towards Tony who had his back to him. After a moment of hesitation he brought his arm around Tony and let his hand rest on his stomach. He felt Tony shiver and he grinned.

"That okay?" he asked stupidly when Tony snuggled back into him, keeping his touches strictly above the waistline.

"Yeah," Tony yawned again. "More than. Thanks."

"For what?"

"All of it. I totally blew it tonight and still here you are being nice to me and all."

"You didn't blow anything, Tony," Gibbs said, straightening himself a bit to be able to look at Tony's face. "You'll see."

Tony didn't reply, just reached up and then gave him a chaste kiss which still managed to make Gibbs' stomach clench again – but this time in a good way.

"Night," Tony mumbled and Gibbs was able to see his eyelids drooping. He was obviously exhausted.

"Night," Gibbs replied and then lay down again, snuggling close to Tony.

He took a deep breath and realized that he had never noticed just how good the guy smelled. He'd have to ask him about his aftershave. Subtly shaking his head, Gibbs closed his eyes and wondered when he had ever cared about stuff like that.

Maybe he was changing, too.


	18. Real Fallouts

_A/N: Thanks for the reviews! :)_

* * *

 **Real Fallouts**

When Gibbs' mind slowly swam into consciousness the next morning, he realized three things at once. First, he hadn't once woken up all night which had to be a first in years. Second, he was oddly rested despite what had happened the night before. And third, and most important, he felt trapped.

 _In a good way._

When he opened his eyes he was greeted with a tuft of hair belonging to Tony as the younger man's head was lying on his chest. Apparently they had moved closer together when the night had progressed and while Gibbs couldn't explain how he hadn't woken up by the movement, he couldn't say he didn't like it. Tony's left hand was draped around Gibbs' torso and their legs were tangled. Slightly smiling to himself, Gibbs brought his hand towards Tony's head and softly stroked his hair. He felt good, felt like he was exactly where he was supposed to be.

While still stroking Tony's hair, Gibbs let the last couple of days pass in front of his inner eye. While the days had been stressful and overwhelming, he also realized that he did feel kind of happy, too. He was sure that Tony couldn't see it that way just yet, but he'd feel happier with people knowing, too. His days of hiding were probably over and Gibbs couldn't imagine how relieving it must have felt.

With a sinking heart he noticed another thing, though. He was doing the same thing. Hiding. He had been hiding his true feelings from Tony and even worse from himself all this time and now that he had finally come around, he couldn't help but see that he hadn't been entirely honest about all of it yet. There were still so many secrets between them that it suddenly made his heart ache. He still hadn't told him about Kelly and there was still the problem of Tony living in LA. How had he overlooked these things? How had he told Tony that they could become a thing when in reality they couldn't? Was he really that much of a bastard?

He let out a soft sigh without thinking and then winced when he felt Tony move. For a moment the younger man snuggled into him before he drew away quickly as he apparently realized what he had been doing. Despite himself, Gibbs held him close, an arm coming around the other man to keep him pressed up against him.

"Morning," Tony mumbled into his chest. "What time is it?"

"A little after nine."

"Can we stay here for a little while longer?"

"Yeah," Gibbs just answered, inhaling Tony's scent once more.

"Feels nice," Tony continued after a while. "Like nothing can ever happen here."

"Trust me, there's a lot happening in here."

Tony let out a laugh and then turned his head to look at him.

"Was that an innuendo?" he grinned. "That's the first coming from you. I'm so proud."

"You don't know me at all," Gibbs grinned back.

"Can't wait to do," Tony replied as he replaced the grin with a broad smile.

Gibbs felt his lips twitch but couldn't bring himself to smile back for some reason. Maybe he had been able to fool himself into believing that this could work, but apparently he couldn't fool Tony because he was sitting up now, fixing him with a speculative look.

"What's wrong? Was I being too forward?"

"No," Gibbs shook his head as he stared up the ceiling, wondering why he couldn't have let the guy have a normal morning after everything that had happened. "I'm… I don't know."

He could feel Tony's eyes on him, but he refused to look at him. He didn't know how he was to break it to him, especially now that Tony had maybe lost a lot by outing himself.

"I thought you wanted this," Tony said his voice barely above a whisper. "You told me you wanted this."

"I thought I did," Gibbs replied vehemently, his eyes still glued to the ceiling. "I thought I did."

"But you don't really," Tony continued, his voice having grown icy and it made Gibbs' heart heavier. "What's wrong?"

Gibbs let out a sigh, then rubbed his arm over his face before he sat up and finally looked at the younger man next to him. Tony had become pale and Gibbs hated himself for saying anything.

"I… I can't do this."

"Why?" Tony asked incredulously. "Why all of a sudden? You were fine just a few minutes ago."

"I know, I'm sorry," Gibbs broke one of his rules. "I mean, I want it. But I can't do it. There's still… you still live in LA. How can this work, Tony?"

"We'll make it work, Gibbs," Tony replied so quietly that Gibbs intuitively moved closer ever so slightly. "I know we can."

Gibbs just shook his head and it almost broke his heart seeing Tony blink rapidly as if he was holding back tears. The green eyes had gotten a bit brighter and for a split of a second, Gibbs had the fleeting urge to grab the guy and just hug the life right out of him. But he simply couldn't bring himself to do it. Wasn't it better if they ended it now instead of letting it go on just to realize that it wouldn't work when too many feeling were already involved?

When he looked at Tony, though, he realized that it was probably already too late. The younger man looked exactly like he felt – devastated.

"Listen, Tony," Gibbs finally started to explain and he hated that his voice was on the verge of breaking now. "I like you. And I like you like that, too. And that's why I can't do this. I know my timing sucks, but I only just realized. I can't do this long-distance thing. I already told you that, too. And while my… feelings have taken control over me these last couple of days, I needed to think about this. And I can't do it. And it's not just the distance thing. I mean, you just… came out and all the hiding is done now. But if we actually got together… I can't promise you that you won't have to hide. I can't just tell everybody just yet. It's too soon for me. I can't do that to you. I'm sorry."

"No, you're not," Tony spit out, slowly getting out of bed. "You're not sorry. You're a liar."

"What?" Gibbs asked, drawing back his head as he hadn't expected Tony to be so pissed about it.

"I said you're a liar and a damn bad one at that."

Tony was already dressed and ready to leave when Gibbs finally found his words, unable to string together more than one coherent thought. What had he done?

"Tony, I'm not lying. It's just how I feel."

"No, it's not," Tony shook his head, anger finally having faded from his voice, only to be replaced by chagrin. "You like me. You like me a whole lot. You're just afraid. I don't know of what exactly. But you're afraid. This doesn't have anything to do with LA or with hiding… it's something else. Something else you won't tell me about. I don't know what you could possibly tell me that would freak me out but that is what you think."

Gibbs blinked a couple of times, thinking about Kelly and how he could never tell him. He just couldn't bring himself to do it and at the same time he didn't want a relationship if he couldn't tell the other person everything. And he simply couldn't tell him. He didn't even know why but just thinking about her made him ache from deep within and he simply couldn't re-open that wound. Not again, not ever. There was nothing that would ever make it better, would ever make him miss her less and he didn't want to burden Tony with it. Not Tony of all people who had a hard enough life already as it was without Gibbs being in it. It was just better keeping certain things buried, even if it would kill him.

Tony's eyes were shining bright with unshed tears now and Gibbs hated himself, despised himself for having it let go on like that for so long. When he still hadn't said anything, Tony finally turned around and slowly walked out the bedroom.

"Tony," Gibbs whispered but Tony must have heard him anyway because he stopped walking. He didn't turn around and just waited for Gibbs to continue. "I'm sorry."

"Will you ever tell me, Jethro?" Tony asked, still not looking at him. "This thing you're so afraid of?"

Gibbs felt his insides clench and his heart beat faster at Tony's use of his first name. He'd never called him Jethro before and he suddenly realized that maybe insisting on being called Gibbs had just been his own way of keeping a safe distance between them without even realizing. He looked at Tony more closely and saw him standing there, his head bowed, his arms hanging loosely at his sides, just as if every fight had suddenly gone out inside of him.

"No," Gibbs finally said and he could see Tony somehow losing even more tension in his body.

"Okay," Tony nodded. "Okay."

With that he got moving again, leaving Gibbs sitting there in his bed, half naked, staring at the place Tony had just disappeared from and wondering if he could ever forgive himself.

#

"You okay, Gibbs?" Abby asked a long couple of hours later when Gibbs walked into her lab, nursing his, what seemed like, tenth cup of coffee of the day.

After Tony had left, he had gone down into the basement, hoping that a bit alone time with the boat and a couple of glasses of bourbon would help him forget. Of course, it hadn't helped. He could still see Tony leaving every time he closed his eyes. The only thing it had achieved was getting him to a point of almost being drunk in the middle of the afternoon when Dispatch had called. He'd taken a cab to work, not sure if he was really fit to drive and since then had tried to starve off the looming hangover with coffee after coffee.

"I'm fine, Abs," he answered, fixing his glance at the screen in front of him which was displaying the bullet that Ducky had retrieved from the corpse of their latest victim. "What have you got?"

"You don't look fine," Abby observed, not being deterred the slightest. "Did something happen?"

"No," Gibbs replied, looking at her to make a point. "Nothing happened. I'm fine."

"Everything okay with Tony?" the Goth went on and Gibbs felt regret hit him at full speed at the mere mention of his name.

"Yeah, why shouldn't he be?"

"Oh, I don't know," Abby replied sarcastically. "He just accidentally outed himself to the whole world and you seemed like you were about to have a heart attack when you watched the interview."

"I did not," Gibbs replied indignantly, fervently promising to himself that he would keep his emotions better at bay around Abby.

"Fine," Abby held up her hands. "You won't tell me. That's fine. You're still not okay, though."

"I'm _fine_ , Abby," Gibbs said, trying to keep his voice calm and even. "I promise, okay?"

"Okay," Abby nodded, still not quite sounding convinced but she let the topic drop for the moment and began to present her findings to him.

#

Over the next days, Gibbs successfully avoided seeing Abby alone and he was subsequently able to avoid her questions. He knew that she knew that he was avoiding her but he couldn't bring himself to talk to her, not when he was barely functioning these days. He was fine at work but whenever he just thought of going home to his empty house, his stomach gave a jolt and he suddenly felt sick. He hated feeling like that. He had always dreaded going home to his wives in the late days of his marriages but he hadn't felt so anxious to walk into the house since the days when Shannon and Kelly's death had been fresh. He felt like he was missing a limb, but at the same time he knew that he could do nothing about it. It could have never worked and the aching of his heart would disappear over time.

He hadn't looked at a paper since Tony had left and he hadn't googled him either, knowing that he didn't want to know what the world thought about his outing. He had caught a few glimpses of it when he had overheard Kate and Abby gossiping about it, but they hadn't said anything specific, so Gibbs didn't know if Tony was fine.

#

It had been ten days since Tony had left him and Gibbs still hadn't managed to get back to normal. He still knew that he had done the right thing for Tony, but he wasn't quite so sure about himself. The more he thought about it, the heavier his heart got. He didn't feel alright, felt the need to drink more than he had in years and yet he was still sure that he'd done both of them a favor. Tony probably couldn't see it just yet but it was better this way: letting it end before it even got a chance to become something.

He still couldn't forget the way Tony had stood in the doorway that morning though. The way his shoulders had sagged when Gibbs had told him 'no' would probably haunt him in his dreams forever and the way his head had been bowed made Gibbs still queasy inside. Maybe it had meant more to Tony than it had to him after all.

Subtly shaking his head about how his thoughts were always straying towards Tony whenever he got more than a second to himself, Gibbs exited the elevator and went into Abby's lab, slightly surprised that not only the Goth was down there, but Kate, too. They were huddled in front of the screen, obviously watching some sort of talk show. They hadn't noticed him enter, so Gibbs was already about to plot his attack when he heard a familiar voice. Only now did Gibbs take a closer look at the TV and realized that it was Tony sitting there, talking to a blonde woman, who, according to the name of the show, had to be Ellen.

He seemed much more relaxed than the last time Gibbs had seen him and he was actually smiling at the host this time and not in a forced kind of way, either. Gibbs grimly smiled to himself. Tony was apparently already over it. _Good._

His attention was stolen by the host as she leaned in, faking a conspiracy, as she stage whispered.

"So how were the days since you outed yourself?"

Tony grinned at her and then sat back, running a hand through his hair and only now did Gibbs notice that he wasn't as relaxed as he seemed. His shoulders seemed tense.

"Well, most of the people were really great about it," Tony answered, smiling again. "The press was very forgiving with me for once, too. I mean there were a couple of people who wanted me to pray and to stop sinning but those were few and in between."

"There always are," Ellen replied, nodding sagely. "They won't go away either, but you'll see that the supportive ones are the important ones."

"I hope so," Tony said and then smiled again and Gibbs was sure that it was a real one this time.

"So, what led to your decision to out yourself?"

"I didn't exactly plan it," Tony laughed self-deprecatingly. "The host asked a couple of very good questions I wasn't entirely prepared for. I haven't regretted it, but I can't say it was planned. Not all of us have a sitcom to speak for them."

Gibbs guessed that it was a reference to something he just didn't know about. The host did know, however, because she smiled at him broadly and it was in that moment that Gibbs decided to like her.

"It sometimes happens that way," she said, grinning. "So, there is no one in your life right now to have triggered enforcing your coming out?"

For a moment Tony's expression clouded and Gibbs felt his stomach constrict as the camera zoomed in closer to his face and he was able to see the beautiful green eyes. They, however, looked haunted. When Tony finally answered, his voice was calm and controlled, but Gibbs could tell that he wasn't quite as relaxed as it seemed.

"I thought that maybe there was someone," he answered truthfully. "But that was just wishful thinking. So, no, there's nobody at the moment."

Gibbs blinked and he suddenly felt tears well up inside of him and he had no idea why that was. He hadn't cried in ages, had long accepted that he would be fine without Tony. Why was this simple statement tugging at him like that?

He didn't hear the host's answer, didn't hear anything besides his own heartbeat in his ears. It was like someone had turned his surroundings to mute. Something wasn't right. All he could think about was to get out of there and hide away in his basement. But when he was finally able to move again, he was faced with Abby and Kate standing right in front of him, both wearing a worried expression on their faces. It was as if they had hurried to his side to catch him, as if he looked like he was about to faint. But maybe he was, he realized. He felt light-headed, felt like he wasn't really _there_ anymore.

"Gibbs?" he heard Abby ask as if from far away while in reality she stood right in front of him. "Gibbs?"

"I'm fine," he answered, his voice sounding surer than he felt. "I'll uh… just go now."

With that he finally managed to turn around and nearly fled the lab, not caring what Kate or Abby thought about him. He could have sworn though that just before the doors of the elevators closed, he had heard Abby whisper.

"What have you done, Gibbs?"


	19. Real Breakdowns

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews! :)**

* * *

 **Real Breakdowns**

The next couple of days and weeks brought few new cases and a lot of bourbon in the basement. Neither Abby nor Kate had mentioned Gibbs' weird behavior in the lab the other day and Gibbs wasn't quite sure why that was. Kate seemed to study him from time to time when she thought he wasn't looking but she still seemed to be clueing the facts together. Or at least she was trying to because if she had already found out about what was plaguing Gibbs, he was sure she would have confronted him.  
Abby on the other hand was an even greater mystery than usual. Gibbs was sure that she somehow knew and that she was mad at him for some reason. But she hadn't told Kate apparently and that fact unnerved Gibbs more than it should have. Was it so important to the forensic scientist that she didn't even gossip about it? She would fix him with intense glares whenever they saw each other but Gibbs had always managed to get away from her in time so that she couldn't ask. He knew that he couldn't hide from her forever but he just couldn't see himself talking to her about Tony.

Tony – only thinking about him hurt him. He hadn't seen him since that talk show on TV, hadn't heard from him and had avoided watching anything but the news. He couldn't bring himself to look at him, couldn't bring himself to even think about him for more than a few minutes. Gibbs didn't know what was up with him. It hadn't been his first breakup. Hell, they hadn't even started a relationship when he had put an end to it. So why was this so different to his ex-wives? He had always been relieved when the divorces had been final, knowing that he could breathe freely now. But this time it seemed like the mere thought of Tony had him gasp for air, had him feeling weak.

He was doing fine at work, but whenever he went home, he felt like someone had just flicked off the lights. It was always dark, always cold in there and the winter that had finally come had nothing to do with it. Gibbs mostly hid away in his basement, making good progress on the boat and going through a bottle of bourbon nearly every day. He knew he was screwing himself up royally, but he couldn't see a better way to make himself forget.

He missed Tony more than he cared to admit, missed his texts every day and missed the way he had just made him feel good. He knew that he had done the right thing in the long run, but at the same time he couldn't help but wish that the long run was already there. He wasn't quite sure just how long he could go on like that.

#

"Jethro?"

Gibbs looked up from his boat to find Ducky slowly walking down the stairs into his basement. As far as Gibbs could remember, the ME had never been down there and it made him cringe internally. Had he realized that something wasn't quite alright with him, too? He chanced a glance at the almost empty bottle of bourbon that stood on the workbench and internally cursed himself that he had left it out. He was sure that Ducky wouldn't be fooled if he told him that he hadn't been drinking it tonight.

"What are you doing here?" he finally said, stopping the sanding as he turned around to Ducky who was by now standing behind him.

"I worry, Jethro."

"About what?" Gibbs asked as he watched Ducky pick up the bottle and hold it up against the light as if to check how much there was still in it.

"You," the doctor replied as if it had been obvious.

"Nothing to worry about, Duck."

"I beg to differ," the older man said and then seated himself on one of the sawhorses. "I haven't seen you so quiet since you started working for NIS all these years ago. And frankly, I do believe you drink too much."

"I do not," Gibbs replied vehemently. "Everything's fine. No need to worry."

"Don't be so stubborn, my dear Jethro," Ducky said, his voice sounding disapproving now. "I know when you're hurting. So what's up?"

"Nothing," Gibbs answered and started to sand again, just to have something to do with his hands that had started to shake ever so slightly.

He would have said something more meaningful, something that would make Ducky go away again, but the alcohol had already clouded his mind and he wasn't able to think straight at the moment. As it were, he did his best to ignore the older man in the basement as he focused on the movements of gliding the sander up and down the wood. It felt oddly soothing. It didn't take long, however, until Ducky loudly cleared his throat, forcing Gibbs to turn around to look at him again. The doctor looked at him sternly and Gibbs could tell that he was fuming internally. When he started to speak, however, he seemed calm and it made Gibbs even queasier inside.

"You don't have to tell me anything, Jethro. I will do the talking and you'll listen to me closely. I've watched you these last couple of weeks and while you repeatedly claim that you're fine, you clearly aren't. Even Mr. Palmer isn't afraid of you anymore because you don't pay attention to him or to anyone else for that matter."

"Am I supposed to scare your assistant to get you off my back?" Gibbs retorted without thinking and then winced ever so slightly when Ducky fixed him with an even angrier look.

"No, you're not. What you are supposed to do is being the boss again. I've heard Caitlyn complain to Abby that she has to do all your work because you refuse to teach them. Don't get me wrong, you're still doing your work, but you transferred all your responsibility of teaching young Timothy to Kate and I'm afraid she's not ready for that yet. She's an excellent agent but she's not seasoned enough yet to give her knowledge to others."

"Ducky," Gibbs interrupted to defend himself but he fell silent when Ducky just shook his head.

"No, let me finish. I don't even want to talk about work that much. But with each passing day you look more exhausted and I don't think the agency has anything to do with it. I didn't know what was up exactly until I came here tonight. Just how much have you been drinking lately, Jethro?"

"Not more than usual," Gibbs replied quickly – a little too quickly, judging from the disdain that was visible on Ducky's face.

"You keep telling yourself that," the doctor said as he stood up and started to walk up the stairs. "But I won't be the one that picks you up from the curb because you decided to drive drunk into work."

"Ducky, I never would…"

"I know you believe that. But you're on your way to lose yourself in that brown liquor of yours. The only advice I can give you is this: sort out whatever troubles you're having because sooner or later you're going to lie on that curb - if you want it or not."

"What if I can't sort it out?" Gibbs checked back and he hated himself for sounding weak all of a sudden, for admitting that he was having a problem, for realizing that he couldn't solve it.

"Then you'll have to learn to deal with it though I still have to see a challenge that the great Leroy Jethro Gibbs doesn't accept."

With that Ducky was gone again, leaving Gibbs standing there in the middle of his basement all alone. And he hadn't ever felt lonelier than in this exact moment. Ducky had no idea what he was talking about. He couldn't just solve this problem like he had done with the others. This wasn't something he could just fix at will. He wasn't even sure he wanted it fixed.

For a moment he wondered why that was. For a few days he had been happy, had been happy with Tony. Even when they had just been friends, he had felt content and balanced. But nothing had changed. He still couldn't do this relationship thing. Not with everything that was going on. Besides, he was sure that Tony would never talk to him again after what he had done to him. And he wasn't even sure he wanted to talk to him in the first place. What was he supposed to say? He couldn't possibly tell Tony anything the younger man didn't already know.

So, he would have to bite the bullet on that one and sit it out until the hurt just went away, until his heart didn't ache every time he just thought of him. It would pass. Just like everything else had. Well, except for the pain of losing Shannon and Kelly. That had never passed and if Gibbs was being honest to himself, he couldn't deny that losing Tony had felt very much like it. It wasn't fair towards his girls but he couldn't help the lonely feeling in his heart whenever he thought about how happy he had been that morning when Tony had woken up in his arms.

He sat down, leaning against the frame of the boat, picked up the glass of bourbon and downed it in one swig. He didn't care what Ducky thought, what Abby thought she knew or what Kate was trying to find out. It was none of their business and he'd be okay eventually. He had managed to function just fine after a while with what had happened to Kelly and Shannon and he would be just fine after having gotten over Tony.

It would work out soon enough.

#

Gibbs yawned as he walked into Abby's lab a couple of days later. He had been up almost all night, trying to get the frame of his boat just right and he now hated himself for it because he could barely keep his eyes open and it was only noon. When Abby noticed him, he quickly replaced the image of what seemed to be phone records with the slug of the weapon that had supposedly been used to kill their latest victim.

"What was that?" Gibbs asked and he was slightly startled when Abby fidgeted ever so slightly.

"I'm sorry, Gibbs, I know that you want me to prioritize your cases, but Balboa asked me for a suspect's phone records and he said it was urgent."

"No worries, Abs," he said and then pressed a quick kiss on her cheek to show her that he really didn't mind.

"I'll get to your case immediately. I promise."

"Call me when you got something."

"Will do," Abby replied with a smile which faded a second later as he looked at him more closely. "Hey Gibbs?"

"Yeah?"

"I know you're fine and all, but can you please go to bed earlier or something? You look like hell."

Gibbs let out a sigh, wondering why everybody was up his case all the time lately. He didn't answer and was about to leave the lab when Abby spoke up again.

"Can't you just call him?"

"Who?" Gibbs asked, feeling a knot form in his stomach as he realized what was most likely to come.

"Tony," Abby replied quietly. "I'm sure he misses you just as much as you miss him."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Sure you don't," Abby answered sarcastically. "I haven't said anything as of now, but it's painfully obvious you miss him. I don't know what happened between the two of you but it's clear that you miss him and judging by the way Tony is avoiding the press lately, I'm sure there's something going on with him, too."

"There's nothing going on. We're fine."

"Yeah, I know you're _fine._ Now go. I don't want to talk to you if you're like that."

"Like what, Abby? I don't appreciate you asking questions that are none of your business. I never have and you should know that. So leave me alone."

"You got it," Abby replied and she looked furious but at the same time her voice had broken at the end of her sentence, so that Gibbs almost moved closer to apologize but then the woman had turned around and he finally walked out the lab, feeling worse than ever.

Great, now he had angered Abby, too.

#

Gibbs wiped the sweat from his face, idly wondering why he was sweating in the first place. The basement wasn't exactly warm and sure, he had been working hard but that didn't exactly justify the sweat that was irritating his eyes to a point that they were burning. With a start, he realized that he wasn't sweating as much as he was crying.

 _Goddamn it._

He had been lost in his work and it was always times like these when he let his thoughts wander. And these days they always wandered towards Tony without fault. He had long given up not thinking about him. After the fight with Abby, he had just given up pretending. The Goth still refused to talk to him and it had almost been two weeks. He was slowly getting antsy, but he couldn't bring himself to apologize to her. It really had been none of her business and he was tired of living up to other people's expectations.

But Abby was just part of why he was feeling so lousy. Despite Ducky's warning, he hadn't stopped drinking and he was vaguely aware that if he kept going like that, he'd end up being an alcoholic, but he was still sure that he didn't _need_ to drink. He just wanted to. Betimes the alcohol helped to forget and sometimes it helped to remember. Like tonight, he kept hearing Tony walking down the stairs to the basement, kept feeling him standing right behind him, whispering things about Gibbs liking him into his ear. Gibbs knew that he should shut out these memories. It had happened months ago and he knew that they did more harm than good, but he refused to let them go. He had let go of Tony because it was for the best, but he wasn't willing to let go of the memories of him.

Gibbs picked up the glass that was sitting on the floor next to him and then slid down the frame of the boat to sit with his back against it. He was tired beyond belief but he was sure that he wouldn't be able to sleep. It had been like that for weeks, but he had never needed much sleep, so he wasn't entirely irritated by it. He closed his eyes for a moment and then felt his heart miss a beat when he heard footsteps on the stairs. His mind was playing tricks on him again.

He opened his eyes and looked up, knowing that he would be disappointed in a second because like every time nobody would be there.

Except there was.

 _Tony._


	20. Real

_A/N: Thanks for your reviews!_

* * *

 **Real**

It took Gibbs' mind a couple of seconds to process that he wasn't just reliving his memories, but that Tony was actually there. He was wearing jeans and a, what looked to be, very old OSU sweater. He looked a bit thinner than Gibbs had last seen him and he was a bit pale, but it was hard to tell in the dim light of the basement. What Gibbs could see clearly though was the haunted and worried look on the other man's face as he sat down next to him. He was sitting close now, but they weren't touching and a part of Gibbs just wanted to shift ever so slightly to be able to touch him. The more logical part of him refrained though. It wouldn't help.

"What are you doing here?" he finally pressed out when Tony still remained silent.

Tony didn't answer immediately instead seemed to be thinking about the answer for a couple of seconds as if he hadn't expected that kind of question. It struck Gibbs as weird but he gave him time as he nipped from his bourbon.

"Abby called me," Tony finally answered and now Gibbs understood why he had hesitated before. She had probably asked Tony not to tell him.

"How did she have your number?" Gibbs asked the first question that came to his mind even though there were far more important ones waiting to be directed.

"Think she said she pulled your phone records?"

"Goddamn it," Gibbs replied, shaking his head. "She wasn't supposed to do that."

"Don't be mad," Tony tried to appease him. "She just meant well. She's worried."

"She's not worried, she's mad at me. That's all."

"She might be, but I think she's just really uneasy. And frankly, I can't say that she's wrong. You look like hell."

"I'm fine, Tony," Gibbs replied and wanted to get up to get away from him, but Tony held him where he was as he placed a hand on his arm.

"Come on," Tony said, for the first time looking straight into his eyes. "You know that Abby wouldn't have called me if she didn't think there was something wrong."

"There's nothing wrong," Gibbs cried out, throwing up his hands and nearly spilling his drink.

"Gibbs," Tony went on whispering. "Don't lie to me. I don't deserve that."

Gibbs let out a sigh and let his head fall back against the frame of the boat as he closed his eyes. He knew that Tony didn't deserve to be lied to, but he was so tired of being talked to, so tired of having to justify himself. He was a grown man, he was able to look after himself. He just didn't get why Abby had felt the need to call Tony – and even worse, he didn't get why Tony had decided to come. He had been a bastard to him, so why would he come here at Abby's guidance? Tony didn't even know her.

"Look, Tony," he finally started, his eyes still closed. "I'm fine, really. I mean, I've been better but it's going to pass."

"Gibbs…" Tony started but the older man just shook his head.

"I just don't get what Abby expected when she called you to come over. Did she think that everything would just magically get better when you're here?"

"No," Tony shook his head before he ran a rather shaky hand through his hair, disheveling it big time. "She said that no one was getting through to you anymore and she thought I would. Now that I'm here though, I'm not sure I can."

"Why's that?"

"I hadn't taken you for an alcoholic and there's nothing in this world I despise more. My mom couldn't function in the mornings without a pina colada first and my dad would drown his grief over her death in whiskey and his mistresses. I never got through to them either. And I hate to see you like that because I thought you were different."

"I'm not an alcoholic, Tony."

"Yeah, maybe not yet," the younger man replied bitterly and for a moment he looked so lost that Gibbs was sure that he'd never wanted to meet his father who had done this to him. "But you're on a good way."

"What is it to you anyway? It's not like we're friends or anything."

"And whose fault is that?" Tony asked so quietly that Gibbs couldn't help but look at him again.

"Mine," he replied without hesitation. "I know that. But honestly, Tony, would you still like to be my friend?"

Tony tilted his head ever so slightly and Gibbs was just able to see a slight flicker in the other man's eyes.

"No," he finally replied haltingly. "It would never be enough."

"What do you mean?" Gibbs checked back as he tried to keep the knot in his stomach from forming because Tony not even wanting to be his friend hurt more than he cared to admit.

"I don't want to be your friend. Not when I've seen how it could be even if it was only for a couple of days."

"Tony…" Gibbs wanted to reply but wasn't quite sure what he actually wanted to say.

Tony didn't seem like he needed an answer anyway. He just sadly shook his head and then ran a hand through his hair again. Only now did Gibbs notice the rings under his eyes. He looked like he hadn't slept in days. With a sinking feeling in his stomach he realized that he had been so focused on being defensive that he hadn't even really looked at the other man.

"Hey," he said softly causing Tony to look him in the eyes again. "Are you doing alright?"

"Not really," he shook his head. "The last couple of weeks have been stressful. With outing myself, giving interviews, trying to go through one senseless script after script and losing you, it hasn't exactly been easy."

"I'm sorry Abby dragged you here like this when you've got so much on your plate already."

"No, it's alright. I want to be here."

"Why?" Gibbs asked incredulously. "What could be so important that you just fly here?"

"You are," Tony simply answered, casting down his eyes. "And believe it or not, I still care about you. And when Abby called she was really upset, I could tell. So here I am," he shrugged rather helplessly.

"You shouldn't have come," Gibbs replied and hurried on as he saw hurt flash in Tony's eyes. "I mean, it's good to see you but there's nothing you can possibly do. I'm the bastard, remember? What has changed since the last time we saw each other?"

"Nothing," Tony replied grudgingly. "I see you're still shit at talking."

"Always was," Gibbs chuckled despite himself and was about to take a sip from the bourbon again but Tony placed a hand on his arm.

"Don't," he said. "Just don't."

Gibbs wanted to rebuke but then saw the brightness in Tony's eyes and he set the glass on the ground again. He didn't even know why exactly but something in Tony's expression made him stop.

"Why are you really here?" he finally said as he realized that Abby's worry couldn't be the only reason.

"Honestly?" Tony replied and let out a sigh. "I've tried to find a reason for weeks but I couldn't think of anything. I just missed you but I also knew that nothing has changed, so I couldn't just come here. But when Abby called… I just couldn't help but get on that plane. I'm sorry."

"Don't be," Gibbs chided. "It's damn good to see you."

"Maybe I shouldn't have, though," Tony said after a while of poignant silence. "I mean I can see that I can do no good here. I've just made it harder to let go."

"Yeah."

They remained silent once more. Gibbs had fixed his glance at the far wall, trying to understand what Tony had just told him. He still missed him, he still cared about him. He had also said that being friends wasn't enough for him. And Gibbs understood all of that, he was feeling the same after all. It really didn't need much for them to overcome their issues. But it was an issue that Gibbs couldn't get over. He just couldn't.

"Listen," Tony finally said. "I didn't mean to put you on the spot. I know there's this thing you won't tell me about and I'm not blaming you. Not anymore. I mean I tried to hate you for doing this to me for weeks but now that I've seen you again I know that you'd tell me if you only could. It's got to be something really bad and I get it. Sometimes it's just not that easy. I'm sorry it's hard for you but I'm not sorry I came here. I just wished you'd take better care of yourself so that I wouldn't need to worry."

Gibbs was just about to answer even if he wasn't entirely sure what he should even say when he saw the anguish in Tony's eyes, so he just nodded once.

For a second he wondered why the guy cared that much about him but then he realized that if the roles had been reversed, he'd feel the very same way. He felt the knot in his stomach tighten and his eyes were suddenly burning. He didn't want to lose Tony. Not like this. He had barely functioned these last couple of weeks - he had long given up on pretending he had – and he hadn't felt like that since his girls had died.

In a moment of pure clarity, and for a second Gibbs even forgot how to breathe, he realized that while he couldn't get Shannon and Kelly back, he could still – maybe – get Tony back. All he needed to do was to talk about _her._ He felt his insides clench at the mere thought but then he looked into Tony's eyes again and he felt them unclench again. He knew Tony would keep his secret, would never say anything about her even if it wouldn't work out between them.

"Hey," he finally said as he stood up, his knees shaking ever so slightly and he realized that the alcohol had nothing to do with it. "Come with me."

He offered Tony his hand and he took it. He had a curious expression on his face and his eyes were suddenly bright with what seemed to be hope. Gibbs had never seen anyone look at him like that, that openly, that trusting. It was like Tony just suddenly _knew._

Gibbs grabbed the spade that was leaning against the wall in his basement and then went up the stairs and into his garden with Tony following close behind. He hoped that he would still find the place. He feebly remembered Kelly and her friend Maddie bury their time capsule in the front yard, but he didn't know exactly where they had kept it.

His and Kelly's time capsule had been buried someplace else though. Kelly had just turned eight when they had made it. Kelly had insisted to dig a hole close to the tree that Gibbs and Shannon had planted when their girl had been born. For a split of a second, Gibbs felt pain flash through his body again but one look at Tony and it was gone again. The lights from the street lamps offered just enough light to see.

Tony still hadn't said a word when Gibbs' spade happened across something metallic. Knowing that it was what he had searched for, he squatted down and then, after some probing, retrieved the small metal box. He softly smiled when he saw the pink ponies that were painted on it and not with some regret he realized that looking at it didn't hurt as much as he had thought. Without a word he handed the box to Tony who took it with a shaky hand. He didn't open it immediately instead just looked at Gibbs who shivered at the question in Tony's eyes. It was cold out and he could see Tony's breath in the air, could feel himself starting to get cold and yet he didn't move, just silently asked Tony to open the box.

"Is this what you're so afraid of?" Tony finally whispered, slightly tilting his head.

"Yeah."

Tony just nodded and then finally casted down his eyes and carefully opened the box in his hands. Gibbs was only just able to see a toy pony very much alike the ones painted on the box. He had given it to her on her fifth or sixth birthday. Tony picked it up with a curious expression on his face but didn't comment as he reached for a photograph of Gibbs and Kelly. Shannon had taken it and it showed Kelly on the swing set with Gibbs standing nearby. They were both looking at each other and smiling broadly. Gibbs remembered the day vividly. He had just gotten home from deployment and he had just had so much fun being at home and with his girls that he was sure that nothing could ever tarnish his happiness.

He averted his glance to look at Tony instead and felt his stomach give a jolt as he realized that the younger man was crying. A lone tear was running down his cheek as he looked up from the photo and into Gibbs' face. He opened his mouth and closed it again before he subtly shook his head and carefully placed the picture back into the box. He reached out his hand and Gibbs took it, squeezing it softly.

"What was her name?" Tony finally asked and he sounded so broken now that Gibbs wanted to hug him.

"Kelly."

"I'm sorry," Tony said as he moved closer and gave him a rather awkward one-armed hug mindful of the box still in his other hand. "I'm so sorry."

Gibbs just nodded into the embrace, letting his chin rest on Tony's shoulder for a moment. It felt good being held by Tony again and he gulped audibly as something tight in his stomach resolved itself.

"Did she die with Shannon?" Tony finally probed.

"Yeah."

"Why didn't you tell me earlier?" Tony whispered.

"I couldn't," Gibbs replied, his hold on Tony tightening. "Every time I just think of her, I…," he trailed off, feeling tears well up inside of him.

"It's okay. It's okay. I get it."

"I'm sorry," Gibbs finally breathed out as he let go of the other man. "It's just… I could never get over her. Not that I want to, but she's still such a big part of my life and I'm not sure how I could let you in. The other wives… they pretended to understand but they never did."

"Jethro," Tony interrupted him and the use of his first name made Gibbs look at him again. "I get it. I'm so sorry that this happened to you and I would never make you choose. She's in there," he placed a hand on Gibbs' heart and when Gibbs looked down he realized that it had started to snow. "And I won't ask you to let go of her."

"What are you saying?" Gibbs asked, his voice cracking and for a split of a second he hoped that all of this wasn't just an alcohol-induced dream because it somehow felt so unreal.

"I'm here if you want me. Flaws and all. I'm here, Jethro," Tony leaned in, pressing his forehead to Gibbs'. "All you have to do is reach out – and maybe there's a small part of your heart left for me."


	21. Free Falling

_A/N: Thanks for the reviews! :)_

* * *

 **Free Falling**

Gibbs let out a sigh and just enjoyed the touch for a second. He desperately wanted to believe they could make it and when he felt Tony's hot breath against his cheek, he felt his own resolve of denying him fade away. He brought one hand to Tony's cheek, carefully stroking it with his thumb. He heard the younger man let out a shuddering breath and then Gibbs closed his eyes. He could hear a car pass his house, could hear Tony's breathing and then he just didn't care anymore. He was done with everything – he just wanted to try.

He closed the last remaining between their lips and felt Tony smile into their kiss. He knew he had done the right thing for once. And – he felt fine. Despite the anguish within him, despite the hole in his heart caused by Kelly and Shannon's deaths, he suddenly felt good – simply good. When they finally broke apart, Tony smiled even though the rest of him still seemed oddly beaten.

"I'm sorry," the younger man said. "I can't imagine what it must have felt like losing both of them at the same time."

"Yeah," Gibbs simply said, scrubbing a hand through his already wet hair. "Do you mind?" he then continued, pointing at the box still in Tony's hand.

He handed it to him and with one last regretful look at the ponies printed on it, Gibbs put the box back into the ground and was then slightly surprised when Tony picked up the spade and closed the hole again. Gibbs stared at the ground for a few moments, trying to collect his thoughts. Only when he felt Tony's presence next to him, did he shake his head ever so subtly and then turned around.

They walked back into the house in companionable silence and Gibbs felt tired all of a sudden, drained almost as if he had given too much of himself away and now he had nothing left to give anymore. With a start he realized that he had kind of given part of himself away. Away to Tony who had not only accepted it but had actually understood, too. His ex-wives had only ever offered their condolences and then never spoke of her again and while at times Gibbs was glad about it, it hadn't been what he had wanted. They had never understood that he hadn't let go of her and never would either. They had all expected him to move on, to forget that part of him. But one look into Tony's eyes and Gibbs was sure that he didn't think that way. One look into Tony's eyes and he knew that Tony was here to stay – if Gibbs let him.

He had taken Tony's hand some time on their way up the stairs and he only let go when they were already standing in the bedroom, staring intently at each other. Gibbs knew that he should probably say something, should talk to Tony about everything that was going on but as he looked at him, words suddenly failed him. Deep down, he knew that he didn't even have to. He had told the other man everything with the kiss outside in the snow. There was nothing left to say for the time being.

He felt his lips twitch in a probably sad attempt of a smile but Tony's eyes were suddenly so bright that he Gibbs knew he didn't need to try – to smile, to talk, to explain, to whatever. It had been enough. So Gibbs just closed the distance between them, grasping Tony's head with both hands and then kissed him thoroughly. Tony's arms had settled on Gibbs' hips, drawing them closer together. Their chests were flush against each other now and Gibbs could feel the younger man's heartbeat through the fabric of both their sweaters. Smiling into the kiss, Gibbs let his hands wander towards the back of Tony's neck, playing with the hair there.

He was so lost in the kiss that his mind refused to properly catch up with what was happening until Tony moved, kicking off his shoes. Gibbs hadn't been exactly cold before but he suddenly felt heat spread within him when Tony let go of him and broke their kiss for a moment to pull his own sweater over his head. The t-shirt underneath had stayed on but only for a moment. Tony stripped it off and then dropped it to the floor. Gibbs just kept on staring at him, waiting for the fear to settle in but it simply wouldn't come. Tony was half-naked now, perfect and smiling at him. Asking.

Gibbs gave a short nod and Tony's smile broadened as he fumbled with his belt for a second before the buckle snapped open which made Gibbs' cock suddenly wake up and spring to life. Suddenly anticipation raged through him and he didn't even know where it had come from. Only minutes before he had been crushed, sad and exhausted. But one look at Tony's smile, at Tony's eyes that were telling him that he just _understood_ ,and he was feeling better.

Gibbs' glance wandered further south just in time to see Tony pull down his zipper and that was the thing that suddenly just made him stop caring. Fuck it, he wanted this. Wanted Tony and while a small part of him was still goddamn insecure about the whole thing, he _really_ wanted it.

Tony seemed to know what had just happened to Gibbs because he smiled again and then pulled him closer and kissed him. Gibbs' breath hitched before he kissed him back with such intensity that it made his head spin and his body react hard. He gasped and dragged his own hands down Tony's body, grabbing his hips and pulling him up against him. He heard Tony groan and then almost hesitantly put a thigh between Gibbs'. Tony stood still for a moment as if he was waiting for Gibbs to protest but the older man wasn't entirely sure he even _could._ He gave a small grunt at the feel of Tony's cock against his own and Tony's hands tightened in his hair, his fingernails digging into his skin.

Tony pressed out a moan harshly when he tore his mouth from Gibbs' to suck on his neck. Gibbs groaned again and then stepped away from Tony just enough to get rid of his own sweater. He saw Tony smile again when he got rid of his own jeans so that he was standing in front of Gibbs in just his boxers. Gibbs took his cue and got rid of his pants, too and god, he hadn't realized just how hot the other man was until now. All he wanted to do was touch him. He moved closer again, pressing up against him, kissing him in earnest now. Tony responded enthusiastically, his hands drawing unknown circles on Gibbs's back.

They slowly moved towards the bed and Tony let out a surprised chuckle when the back of his knees hit the bed which made him fall onto it with Gibbs following close behind. Tony made room for the other man, so that they were both lying on their sides, looking at each other, their hands on the other's hip. Tony drew him closer once more. Their cocks were pressed up against each other again and Gibbs felt his own twitch almost violently as he realized that this wasn't hard at all. This was just natural and he had no idea why he had shied away from even thinking about sex with Tony. This was just right.

Tony kissed him again and then his hand which had been on his hip before moved further down, caressing Gibbs' thigh for a second or two before it grazed over Gibbs' cock. The older man opened his eyes and found himself staring into Tony's, mere inches away from him. He could see the slight hesitation in them, so he just kissed him, showing him that he was alright with it. Tony seemed to get the clue as his hand found its way under Gibbs' boxer shorts and Gibbs only just held back a shout as he gripped his cock. Hard. He then started to stroke it, first slowly and then faster, his grip tightening. He only let go for a few seconds to get rid of both Gibbs' and his own boxers and before the older man had even comprehended what was going on, Tony had taken hold of him again. Gibbs moaned when Tony shifted ever so slightly and then suddenly he had both their cocks in his hands and they were rubbing against each other and Gibbs desperately held on to Tony's shoulder to make sure he wouldn't lose it just like that.

God, this was so _good_.

He was starting to sweat now and when he tilted his head to kiss Tony again, he was mildly satisfied when Tony's kiss had gotten sloppy as he was breathing hard, unable to concentrate on it. Gibbs felt himself already losing control and he tried to keep himself in check but then Tony broke their kiss and shook his head.

"Don't," he whispered and it was the first thing either man had said since they had been standing outside in the garden.

The rough sound of Tony's voice made Gibbs stop pretending, made him stop holding back. He moaned loudly and when Tony's strokes suddenly became a bit uncoordinated, he realized that the younger man was just as gone as he was. Tony's palm was sweaty now, their combined pre-cum was dripping down and Gibbs' wasn't quite sure where he ended and Tony started.

The other man flicked his hand at the tips of their cocks and just like that the younger man cried out and he tensed up, pressure so insanely high and spilling over as he came. Gibbs was with him, right there, gasping, shaking and pressing into him as hard as he could.

And damn, this was a thing out of the movies. This just didn't happen in real life, not this kind of sharing, this kind of just getting there.

It just didn't. No way –

Except sometimes, sometimes it apparently did.

#

They had fallen asleep quickly afterwards, not even bothering to clean themselves up. Gibbs had woken up a couple of minutes before his alarm the next morning. He'd been tightly wrapped around Tony and he had felt regret hit him at full speed as he had gotten up, pressing a fleeting kiss on the younger man's temple. He hadn't woken up, so Gibbs had just proceeded to go to the bathroom and to get ready for work.

He had written him a short note and had then left for the Navy Yard, wishing he could just call in sick and spend more time with the sleeping man upstairs. He had driven to the headquarters on autopilot, still dwelling on last night's occurrences. He knew that he'd done the right thing, was damn glad about letting Tony in. He hadn't expected him to react that way, to just understand without even asking a question. It had felt right and just when he had parked the car in the garage he felt something inside of him resolve.

Maybe, just maybe, Tony was _it._

The one he had needed to live again.

#

Half an hour later, Gibbs – still feeling a bit shell shocked at his own discoveries – walked into Abby's lab, a Caf!Pow in his hands. He wasn't quite sure what exactly he was doing there, but he knew he needed to do something. When Abby turned around to see who had just entered her empire, her eyes narrowed ever so slightly. Gibbs just gave her a crooked smile as he handed her the drink. He still didn't know what to say, so he just gave her a peck on the cheek and then simply whispered:

"Thanks."

Abby took a step backwards and really looked at him for the first time in weeks. It took her a couple of seconds but then Gibbs was able to see a broad smile spread on her face.

"You're welcome," she just said, nodding at him.

Gibbs smiled back and then turned around knowing that she had understood what he had tried to tell her.


	22. Free Moments

_A/N: Thanks again for your reviews! :)_

* * *

 **Free Moments**

 _You home?_

 _If by home you mean your house, yes._

Gibbs felt the corners of his mouth twitch as he put his cellphone back into his pocket. The day had been slow so far, they had only caught up on some paper work and not without satisfaction had Gibbs realized that McGee had almost smiled when Gibbs had shouted at him earlier for being far too techie specific in his reports. It just meant that he was back, Gibbs knew and McGee knew apparently knew it, too. Sure, Probie would never say anything, but he didn't need to anyway. Kate had not only once thrown a glance at him, but like all the weeks before she hadn't commented and Gibbs wasn't entirely sure if he should feel grateful or fearful about it. It didn't matter much anyway. He was feeling much better. Hell, he barely even noticed the slight headache that he was still having from the bourbon the night before.

When five o'clock came around, he barely managed to stay behind until both Kate and McGee had left. He didn't want to seem too eager, but as soon as the elevator doors had closed behind them, he was out of his chair, had grabbed his badge and gun and had put on his coat. He sped home the way he usually did, regardless of the fact that it hadn't stopped snowing since last night. He just really wanted to get home.

For a moment he realized that he hadn't felt that way in years. He had always wanted to stay at work as long as possible, had never actually raced home. It was different now and he realized it was because someone was waiting for him there. With a sinking feeling he also realized that it wouldn't always be like that. Soon, Tony would be back in LA, but the thought didn't make him as gloomy as he had thought it would. He somehow felt like they could still make it work. He had no idea how exactly but he didn't care. He wouldn't let Tony go again. He'd be stuck with him for as long as Tony wanted him.

Why exactly that was, Gibbs didn't have any idea. What could he possibly offer the younger man? Tony could probably have any gay man on the planet, could probably get whoever the hell he wanted and yet he had chosen him. He felt something warm spread in his stomach, but didn't exactly know what it was. It just felt good, so Gibbs, for once, didn't try to analyze it, knowing that trouble would find him soon anyway, bursting his bubble.

He was slightly startled when he pulled into his driveway to find it freed of all the snow. As he got out of the car he saw Tony standing there, snow shovel still in his hands, grinning at him broadly.

"You didn't have to," Gibbs said in lieu of a greeting.

"I know but I wanted to. Needed something to occupy myself with."

"You got bored home alone?"

"Nah, you're lucky I didn't set a spider free in the house," Tony smiled, ignoring Gibbs' frown at the movie reference he didn't get, then casted a fugitive glance around before he pressed a soft kiss on Gibbs' lips.

"Then why…?" Gibbs started as he walked inside with Tony trailing behind, brushing off the snow from his coat and gloves.

"Needed a distraction from reading all the scripts," he gestured to a pile of papers on Gibbs' coffee table. "Never realized how much work it is. Plus, I had about half an hour before I have to get the lasagna out of the oven."

Gibbs turned around to look at him, raising an eyebrow, not quite believing what Tony had just said.

"Let me get this straight. You shoveled my driveway _and_ cooked?"

"Don't get used to it," Tony laughed and Gibbs felt his stomach give a jolt at the happiness the younger man seemed to radiate. "It's the only thing I actually can cook."

"That's enough for me," Gibbs grinned and then gave him a quick peck on the lips.

Odd, how it had gotten so normal in not only a day. It was like the invisible wall that he had put up between them had suddenly just vanished. He wasn't quite sure he liked how easily Tony had gotten through to him, but he didn't know how to reverse the whole thing and he wasn't sure he even wanted to. And it was like now that Gibbs had revealed his secret to Tony, the younger man suddenly seemed more sincere than before. Gibbs had been sure that he had seen him smile a real smile but now that he was seeing Tony like this, he realized that Tony, himself, had held parts of him back, too. His expression was suddenly open and easy to read and it was strange, really, because it had taken Gibbs weeks to get a read on him but now it was just e _asy._

"Something on my face?" Tony asked, raising an eyebrow and only now did Gibbs realize that he had been staring at him the whole time he had been thinking.

"No," he grinned, "just spaced out."

"I could see that."

The younger man subtly shook his head and then went around Gibbs to walk into the kitchen, opening the oven for a moment to check on the food.

"Five more minutes."

"Where did you learn how to cook lasagna?" Gibbs asked, only realizing now that he barely knew anything about Tony's life outside the whole fame bubble.

"One of our maids was Italian. I mean my dad's side of the family is Italian, too, but neither of us speaks much of it. Anyway, Rosalie worked for my dad for years. I guess she was easy on the eyes and well, she taught me Housekeeping 101."

"You still see her?" Gibbs asked as he sat down, sensing that Tony was more than fond of her.

"No," he shook his head, suddenly looking sad. "She died a couple of years ago. Breast cancer."

"I'm sorry."

"Yeah, me too. She was a great woman."

For a moment a shadow ghosted over Tony's expression but it was gone too quickly for Gibbs to fully recognize it. He let the topic drop as he sensed that Tony wasn't keen on talking about it for much longer.

"Come on, let me set the table," he said instead as he got up, giving Tony's shoulder a quick squeeze.

#

Gibbs groaned as he rubbed a hand over his belly. The lasagna had been delicious and he had eaten far too much even for his own standards.

"Thanks," he pressed out.

"You're welcome," Tony replied. "Hope you liked it."

"You couldn't tell?" Gibbs chuckled as he gestured towards the empty plates in front of them. "It was great."

"So what do you want to do now?" Tony asked, apparently fighting a yawn that wanted to escape.

"No idea. What about those scripts? You through with them?"

"No," Tony shook his head. "I can't believe how many I received since coming out."

"Good ones?"

"Not sure," Tony chuckled. "There's a lot of stereotypical gay roles."

"But you don't want to do those?"

"No, not really," he shook his head as he lead the way into the living room before dropping down on the couch and picking up a script. "I mean I'm not against playing a gay, but I don't want to be the best friend the girl calls to go shopping for a wedding dress."

"You got any girlfriends that would want to do that?" Gibbs replied and was then slightly startled when Tony gave him a slap upside the head. "Hey!"

"What?" Tony grinned. "You think you can hit me whenever you like but I'm not allowed to get you back for that?"

"Guess not," Gibbs just answered as he picked up a script, too, and thumbed through it. "You always get through a stack of these before you find something decent?"

"Andy used to screen them for me and then just gave me the best ones to read," Tony answered quietly, his expression clouding at the thought of his former manager.

"Have you hired someone to replace him already?"

"No," Tony shook his head, looking up from the papers. "I'm not sure I want to. I mean I've got my lawyer to take care of all the financial stuff and all. I think I can manage the rest on my own. Maybe it's time for me to step up my game, you know."

"What do you mean?"

"When I went through the scripts today I realized that I only ever got to read the action scripts. I mean it's like Andy never showed any of the others to me. The more serious ones, I mean."

"You want to do serious movies?" Gibbs asked, realizing that Tony had thought a lot about it.

"Remember when you asked me why I kept making those dumb action flicks?" At Gibbs' nod, Tony continued. "I mean I like doing them, but I want something with more substance. I want to evolve and if other people don't like it, they'll have to deal. I'm done doing what others want me to do."

"Good for you," Gibbs grinned. "Found something good yet?"

"No," Tony shook his head. "But I'm only halfway through. Want to help?"

"Sure," Gibbs shrugged. "Not sure how much help I can be though."

"Just give me everything that doesn't start with gunfire or a marriage proposal."

#

Two hours later, when Gibbs looked up from the script he had been reading for the last couple of minutes, he realized why Tony had been so quiet. He had fallen asleep. His head was knocked back, lying on the backrest of the couch, and his mouth was hanging open ever so slightly. The light of the fire that Gibbs had started an hour ago casted a slightly red glow over Tony's face and the older man couldn't help but stare at him. He was looking utterly at peace and handsome as hell. Gibbs continued to look at the younger man for a while, trying to memorize the expression on Tony's face because he was sure that he wasn't likely to catch him that unguarded many times. He raised his hand and then softly brushed his fingers through Tony's hair, which, and Gibbs suddenly wondered how he hadn't noticed it before, hadn't been equipped with lots of hair gel today. It looked better that way, more natural somehow. Gibbs stroked him for a couple of moments before Tony moved and then startled out of his sleep.

"Wha' time is it?" he asked sleepily.

"A little after ten. Want to turn in?"

"I'm getting old," Tony mumbled, sitting up and rubbing a tired hand over his face. "Going to bed at ten o'clock on a Friday night."

"I could use the sleep, too," Gibbs shrugged and then pulled Tony up from the couch with him. "I might have found a film for you."

"Oh yeah?"

Gibbs nodded and pointed at the script he had been reading. "It's a film about J.M. Barrie and the family who inspired Peter Pan."

Tony went to pick it up but was interrupted by a yawn, so he straightened again and then took Gibbs' hand.

"Guess I'll read it tomorrow then."

"Might be best," Gibbs said as they walked up the stairs.

"What's it called?"

"The movie? _Finding Neverland_."

"God, I was so scared of Peter Pan as a kid," Tony said, shaking his head.

"How's that?" Gibbs replied somewhat confused. Kelly had loved the book.

"Don't you realize who Peter Pan actually is? It's like he's death and taking all the kids. Ever thought of the reason why the kids never grow up? They're dead."

Gibbs remained silent as he stripped down to his boxers and got into bed. It was only when Tony looked at him, tilting his head thoughtfully.

"Sorry," he then pressed out. "Didn't mean to…"

"No worries," Gibbs gave him a smile for the benefit of the doubt, knowing that Tony had just connected his silence to Kelly's death. "I just haven't thought about it that way before. But it makes complete sense."

"Yeah, my father pointed it out to me when I was like seven years old. Gave me years of nightmares."

Gibbs furrowed his brow wondering what kind of father would tell his kid stuff like that but Tony had by now crawled into bed next to him, laying his head on Gibbs' chest, so he discarded the thought for the time being. Gibbs picked up his earlier action of combing a hand through Tony's hair and after a while he felt the younger man's breathing even out and he knew that he had fallen asleep again. He kept on stroking him until he had almost lulled himself to sleep, too.

It was only then that he realized that it had been the first day in what seemed like months that he hadn't had a single drop of alcohol.


	23. Free Picks

_A/N: Sorry for the delay. Had a rough week. Hope you'll like this._

* * *

 **Free Picks**

"Come on, get up," Gibbs all but shouted at Tony the next day, grinning when the younger man jerked awake almost violently and scrambled to his feet before he even realized what he was doing.

"Jeez," he said, letting out a laugh at his own behavior. "Didn't any of these ex-wives of yours teach you that you're not in the Marines anymore?"

"Nope," Gibbs replied as he moved closer and gave the younger man a chaste kiss. "They liked it when I was bossy."

"Oh, you would've loved that," Tony laughed before he sobered. "Why are you waking me up anyway?"

"Got a long day ahead of us," Gibbs just said vaguely. "Now get dressed and then come down for breakfast."

"How long have you been up for?" Tony asked, rubbing at his eyes sleepily.

"Two hours."

"But it's only eight. And a Saturday."

"So?" Gibbs just grinned and then left the room, knowing that while Tony was grumbling, he didn't really mind.

#

"You don't have other shoes than these?" Gibbs asked an hour later as he eyed Tony's expensive-looking loafers.

"Here? No."

"Did you shovel the snow outside in these, too?" Gibbs smirked.

"Yeah."

"And you didn't freeze to death?"

"Apparently not," Tony answered, pursing his lips. "Why? Will I freeze to death today?"

"No, but we could drive by your apartment and get you proper attire. We're going to be outside for a while."

"Yeah, I guess we can," Tony shrugged and then furrowed a brow. "You still won't tell me where we're going?"

"Nope. Press won't be a problem at your place?"

"I don't think they even know that I'm in town," Tony replied, a smile tugging at his lips. "It's incredible how little they know now that Andy can't do harm anymore. And here I was thinking that it was normal. Apparently it's not."

"Funny how that goes," Gibbs replied and closed the front door behind them as he remembered something. "Hey, when these photographers were camping out here and got those pictures of me, why do you think there never was a story?"

"Huh," Tony let out, apparently having never thought about it. He shrugged. "I have no idea. Maybe a photo of you wasn't enough for a story? I mean what would you getting your newspaper prove? It's weird though."

#

"We're looking for a Christmas tree?" Tony asked incredulously nearly two hours later.

They had made a quick stop at Tony's place and had then driven towards a small village just outside of Leesburg. Gibbs parked his car and then put on a woolen hat and some gloves with Tony, who was still looking out the window in wonder, doing the same next to him.

"Yeah, it's only three more weeks till Christmas and I don't really know when I'll have the time to get a tree."

"Why drive all the way out here?" Tony asked as he got out of the truck. "Aren't there nice trees in DC?"

"I'm sure there are. But these," he gestured towards the small army of trees that were standing neatly on a field. "Belong to a buddy of mine from the Marines."

"Alright," Tony replied, suddenly smiling broadly as if he had just realized something important even though Gibbs had no clue what it was all about. "I've never picked a tree myself."

"Never?" Gibbs checked back. "Not even as a kid?"

"You kidding?" Tony answered, shaking his head. "We have people for this, Junior," he said in a deep voice and Gibbs guessed he was mimicking his father before Tony continued in his normal tone. "I practically begged the guy to go with me but he never wanted to. My mom just didn't care either way, so I never got to pick one."

"Not even when you were an adult?"

"No," Tony answered furrowing a brow. "I just didn't think it was important who picked it, you know. I missed out though," he added when he watched a family walking on the snow covered ground between the trees.

"Well, there's a first time for everything," Gibbs just shrugged and then walked towards a small hut. A man was sitting in front of it and when he looked up, he started to wave at them.

"Gunny!" he cried out as he got up and gave him a quick hug. "Wasn't expecting you for another two weeks."

"Had time today, Seth," Gibbs just shrugged before he gestured towards Tony. "That's Tony."

"Hi," Seth said as he took Tony's hand and Gibbs could see the younger man smile at him.

"Nice to meet you."

Seth didn't seem to recognize him and Gibbs wasn't entirely surprised because very much alike himself, the former Marine wasn't exactly a movie buff.

"So what are you guys looking for? Tall, small?"

"Medium?" Gibbs answered.

Seth gestured towards a row of trees at the back of his field and then Tony and Gibbs were on their way.

"How long have you known him?" Tony wanted to know as they walked over to the trees.

"Twenty years."

"You see him a lot?"

"Not really," Gibbs shook his head. "He's a farmer over in Leesburg and only does this Christmas tree thing in December. And you know farmers. They never have time."

"As do NCIS agents."

Gibbs let out a laugh and then softly slapped the back of Tony's head before he replied. "As do famous actors."

"Hey, I'm here now, right?"

"That you are," Gibbs said and gave him a lopsided grin. "How long for anyway?"

He saw Tony shrug and realized that the man hadn't probably planned on staying long. Gibbs had no idea what Tony had thought when he had followed Abby's call two days earlier but he was fairly sure that he hadn't expected rekindling this thing between them. With a warm sensation in his stomach he realized that he really wanted him there, wanted him to pick his very first Christmas tree and wanted to have him there for Christmas, too.

"I have to fly back on Monday," Tony said and regret was clearly perceivable in his voice. "For doing the premiere of the FBI flick and some promo stuff. But I'll be done with that by Dec 22."

"And what are you doing for Christmas?"

"Hopefully decorating one of these trees with you."

"Yeah?" Gibbs asked and couldn't help the smile on his face. "You sure?"

"Of course," Tony replied and furrowed a brow as if Gibbs' question had been ridiculous. "Isn't this why we're here?"

Gibbs gave him another smile and then took Tony's hand in his, not caring that someone might see them. It didn't matter. Tony, for once, didn't even look around to make sure that no one was watching them. He just squeezed Gibbs' hand and then led the way through the row of beautiful trees, stopping their walk a couple of times in front of a tree to look at it more closely before going on. It went like that for a while and just when Gibbs thought Tony had settled on one of the trees, he would march on. Gibbs didn't particularly mind, it was actually fun watching Tony look at the trees, his eyes bright with glee.

For a second, and not for the first time either, he wondered just how big of a bastard Tony's father had to be to refuse his kid something like that. Judging from the way Tony's features always darkened whenever he talked about him, he hadn't exactly been the father of the year. Gibbs understood the sentiment all too well and yet he did have some great memories with his father and even though they weren't exactly on good terms since his girls' funeral, he still sent him a card each Christmas and was always glad when he got one in return. The same apparently wasn't true for Tony and his father. From what Gibbs had gathered, they hadn't talked in years ever since the old man had tried to cheat Tony out of a lot of money. Even though Tony didn't seem to care much about his wealth, he knew that it must have hurt a lot and Gibbs was sure that Tony wasn't keen on forgiving him any time soon.

"What about this one?" Tony interrupted his train of thought as he pointed at a nearby tree. "It's not too tall and I know it's a bit crooked but aren't we all?"

"It's perfect just the way it is, Tony," Gibbs replied, squeezing his hand.

Tony looked back at him with a crooked smile on his face and his eyes suddenly seemed even brighter than before. He leaned closer now and Gibbs was able to see a snowflake settling on his eye lashes. He reached up and brushed it away carefully before he brought his hand to Tony's neck to draw him even closer and kiss him.

#

 _Case closed?_

Gibbs gave a grim smile at Tony's text before he wrote back.

 _Yes. Mother was the killer. Glad it's over._

He pocketed his cell as he focused on the computer screen in front of him again. It was already December 20, and their latest case had been horrible. McGee was still looking rather green in the face and Kate had grown snarlier and quieter over the last couple of days which had Gibbs irritated to no end as he usually was glad for her balance whenever cases got too tough. Even Abby had lost almost all of her Christmas cheer and it almost physically hurt him just thinking about it.

While the case had been gruesome, Gibbs had still managed to actually not think about it for the couple of times he had gone home to sleep. He had had long phone calls with Tony who was stressed out from his promo tour and doing interviews, but had still always had an open ear for Gibbs. If the older man had feared to lose touch with him while the actor was still in California, he saw himself proven wrong. Tony had constantly texted and called and while Gibbs still missed him more than he cared to admit, it was the thrill of anticipation that almost made up for it. He couldn't wait to have Tony back for Christmas and for three weeks after that.

#

"Hey Abs," he said a couple of hours later as he walked into the lab.

"Hi Gibbs," she replied, giving him a smile. She looked better than the days before, now that they had found little Sarah's killer. "What are you still doing here?"

"Wanted to finish the reports. Need those ballistic results."

"Sure," Abby replied, typed something into her computer and then handed over the paper when the printer was done.

"Thanks," Gibbs said, giving her a kiss on the cheek.

"What are you doing for Christmas this year, Gibbs? Because I'll head over to the nuns this year and help give out food for the homeless. You care to join me?"

"Sorry," Gibbs answered apologetically. "I've already got plans."

"Those plans aren't your boat and bourbon, right?"

"No," Gibbs just said and was about to leave the lab when Abby spoke up again.

"It better not be, Mister," she said, her voice sounding stern all of a sudden. "You should spend Christmas with people you care about."

"I will, Abby," Gibbs said as he turned around to look at her. "I promise."

Abby eyed him suspiciously for a few second before a wide smile broke out on her face as the figurative penny apparently dropped. She hurried to walk over to him and then hugged him tightly.

"I know you don't want to talk about it," she whispered into his ear. "And I get that. I'm just… really happy for you. You've been brooding far too much."

"I have not," Gibbs contradicted her, but she just shushed him.

"You have and you know it. I'm glad you have found him. He's good for you."

"Abs," Gibbs said warningly, but he was once again cut short by her as she let go of him.

"I know, I know. I won't say anything. To anyone."

"Thanks," Gibbs just said and then finally left the lab.

#

"I'm coming, I'm coming," Gibbs mumbled as he hurriedly stepped into his house two hours later to get to the ringing telephone.

"Gibbs," he answered and was then greeted with a few moments of silence before the man on the other end of the line spoke.

"Hello Leroy."

Gibbs gulped as he heard his father's voice for the first time in years and felt his heart sink at the same time. This couldn't be good.

"Dad."

"Still as monosyllabic as always," his father chuckled and for some reason it made Gibbs feel like he was fifteen again as anger bubbled up inside of him.

"What do you want, Dad?"

"Can't I just call up my son?"

"You can," Gibbs replied grudgingly. "But you usually don't."

"Leroy," Gibbs heard his father sigh. "I just thought it was time we buried our fight. I know you didn't like that I brought Amanda to the funeral but it's been over ten years. I just thought it would be nice to spend Christmas with you."

"I'm not going to Stillwater," Gibbs bit out, feeling repulsion travel through his body at the mere thought of it.

"Didn't say you should," Jackson chuckled again. "Was thinking that I could visit you."

"Dad…," Gibbs started, trying to come up with a believable reason to keep his father from coming to DC, but then, and despite himself, realized that he probably shouldn't rebuff his father's attempt at reconnecting just like that.

"Leroy," his father cut him off sternly. "I know we've had our differences but I'm not getting any younger and I'd like to see my kid again. Is that so hard to understand?"

"No," Gibbs relented. "But…"

"No buts, Leroy. I'll come for Christmas."

Gibbs had just opened his mouth to contradict him and to make him see sense but the older man had already hung up on him. Gibbs let out a huff as he put the phone away and shook his head. Hell, he didn't want his father to come over, his whole being was feeling repulsed by the mere thought of it but somehow he couldn't bring himself to call him back. He still hadn't forgiven his dad for bringing a date to his girls' funeral but he was his father after all. Maybe it was time to make up. Maybe he'd have to deal with him over Christmas because, really, how bad could it be?

He felt his cell phone vibrate in the pocket of his pants and then felt his heart sink.

 _Tony._

He was so fucked.


	24. Free Confessions

_**A/N: Thanks for your reviews. Sorry for the longer wait again. I'm just glad that I managed to finish the Christmas chapter just in time. Not sure when the next chapter will be up, busy days ahead...  
Anyway, I wish you all happy holidays. Have a good one!**_

* * *

 **Free Confessions**

"What's wrong?" Tony asked when he closed the front door behind him.

Gibbs hadn't told him about his father visiting yet because he simply hadn't made up his mind about it. He couldn't tell his father not to come, but he couldn't tell Tony either. After a long night with his boat but thankfully without bourbon, he had finally concluded that he'd just play it by ear and would react to whatever Tony would throw at him. He hadn't expected him to sense that something was wrong from the moment he stepped into his house, though.

"Nothing," Gibbs replied as he approached him and gave him a quick kiss.

"Don't bullshit me," Tony said, smirking at him as he all but threw his bag into the corner. "I know that look. So just get it over with. You got a case?"

"No, we're off duty over Christmas."

"So, what is it?"

"It's my dad," Gibbs sighed as he sat down on the couch.

"What is it? Is he sick?" Tony asked, his expression suddenly worried which confused Gibbs because the guy didn't even know him.

"No, he's fine. He's just coming over for Christmas."

"Which makes you sick?" Tony grinned again and Gibbs just held himself back from giving him a head slap.

Gibbs just shrugged in response, trying to come up with a way of telling the younger man they couldn't spend Christmas together. When he looked at the man next to him though, he realized that he couldn't tell him. He w _anted_ to spend Christmas with him, his father be damned.

"No," he finally started slowly. "I just… he doesn't know about us."

"And you don't want to tell him," Tony said quietly, leaning back and away from him. "Damn it, Gibbs. I came here just for you."

"I know, Tony," Gibbs hurried to reply and took Tony's hand, relieved that he didn't protest. "I don't want you to go. It's just… I haven't seen him since the girls' funeral. And now he called and I just couldn't say no. So he's definitely coming. But I want to spend Christmas with you, believe me."

"Okay," Tony sighed, running a hand through his hair. "So you're saying, you want us both to be here?"

"Yeah."

"But you don't want to tell him?"

Gibbs shrugged and leaned back, pinching the bridge of his nose with his thumb and index finger. He really didn't want to tell his father about them but he really didn't want to see that look on Tony's face either. For a second he had looked like a small kid, whose Christmas had just been ruined, before he had schooled his features again. Gibbs hated when he did that. It always had him feeling like Tony was still holding back, like he was hiding from him and didn't trust him. Gibbs knew that it was nonsense, knew that it was just one of Tony's defensive mechanisms but it still managed to make him feel uneasy.

"Listen," he finally started over. "I haven't seen him in so long and I don't want him to leave as soon as he gets here. Why don't we just test the waters and then decide whether or not we should tell him?"

"Alright," Tony sighed, still looking a little distraught, but he gave him a smile nonetheless. "Then we'll tell him we're friends and that we just planned to spend Christmas together. I take it I'll sleep on the couch then?"

"No, I will," Gibbs relented. "Least I can do is give you the bed. And anyway, I think I could still sneak up in the middle of the night."

"And feel like we're sixteen again?"

"Definitely."

"Okay," Tony said and then leaned in to kiss him.

"You sure this is alright?" Gibbs checked back because Tony still looked a bit pensive.

"Yeah, I mean, it's not ideal and I had planned to spend a cozy Christmas with you, but we'll manage. And I can't wait to hear stories from your childhood."

Gibbs groaned and let his head fall back.

God, it was going to be so painful.

#

"So when's your dad coming over?" Tony asked in the morning of Christmas Eve as he rolled over to spoon up against Gibbs.

"Sometime in the afternoon," Gibbs mumbled, suddenly preoccupied by Tony's hard cock pressing against his ass.

"So we got lots of time, right?"

"Yeah," Gibbs grinned as he rolled over and then let out a laugh when Tony was suddenly on top of him, supporting most of his weight with his arms that were on both sides of Gibbs' face.

"Good," Tony just breathed out before he leaned down and kissed the older man thoroughly.

Gibbs let him stay in control as he had learned in the few nights he had spent with Tony that he actually loved it not to be the demanding one for once. Tony always seemed to know when to stop and when to pursue and Gibbs was fine with it. Tony's tongue was exploring his mouth with skill and confidence now, his hands were everywhere, seemingly touching every inch of his body, his touches deft, soft and yet certain beyond belief. Gibbs moaned into the kiss, slightly surprised by the intent of Tony's actions. Taking the opportunity, Tony broke their kiss and nibbled his way to Gibbs' ear. He sucked on his lobe and then bit down gently, which caused Gibbs to gasp. He shuddered under his every touch and then let out a shaky breath when Tony continued his way further south, first biting down on his neck and then trailing towards the collarbone.

"Damn," Gibbs let out as Tony suddenly stopped for a moment and then slid down against Gibbs' body.

Once more, he shivered when he saw the grin on Tony's face, shivered when he felt the brush of Tony's chest hair against his own. It tickled and teased everything it touched. Briefly Gibbs wondered when he had last been so horny, so aroused by such simple actions. Memories of his first time with Shannon filtered through his mind and he closed his eyes for a moment, waiting for the pain that always came when a thought of her caught him unawares, but it never came because Tony began to play with his nipples, pinching them, rolling them between his fingers and then sucking at them. He was so distracted by it that he was surprised when Tony slid down even further, tugging at the waistband of Gibbs' boxers. His head barely visible underneath the sheets, Tony looked up at him, a brilliant smile on his face when he finally succeeded in getting rid of the underwear.

Gibbs stopped breathing for a second or two. They hadn't yet crossed the boundaries to blow jobs yet and he suddenly felt stupid for not having done it sooner. His coherent thoughts ended though when he felt the other man's mouth wrap around his hard dick.

Wet heat surrounded him and he groaned once more when Tony flicked his tongue and it felt so amazing that he had to work hard to keep himself in check to not thrust up into his mouth. Apparently realizing the dilemma Gibbs was in, Tony grabbed his hips with one hand while the other one tugged at his own boxers and then grabbed his own dick, tugging at it in time with his mouth sucking his way up and down Gibbs' cock. Gibbs suddenly realized that Tony had been holding out on him as he teased the slit, the tip of his tongue darting in and then across it, driving Gibbs out of his freaking mind. He resumed doing that over and over, only alternating it with sucking hard once and then backing off, only to just start it all over again.

"Tony," the older man pressed out, not even sure what he wanted to say but it hardly even mattered because right at that moment Tony sucked hard once again and then swallowed him whole.

Taken by surprise, Gibbs let out a shout and then shuddered violently, desperately trying to hold on because it felt so goddamn right and _good_. As if on cue, Tony's hand that had held his hips in place moved towards his balls and started to play with them.

"Yes," Gibbs moaned and he felt Tony lose his rhythm for a moment or two and only then did he realize that the younger man whole body was tense as if he was on the verge of coming, too and just in this moment, Tony's fingers touched exactly the right spot behind his balls.

Gibbs felt his world around him shatter as he fought for control but he didn't have the slightest chance. With one last flick of his tongue, Tony sent him over the edge, leaving Gibbs without a coherent thought for a couple of moments, only vaguely realizing that Tony had been there right along with him because his jerky movements had stopped, too.

When he finally recovered, Tony was already lying next to him again, one arm draped over him.

"Time wisely spent," Tony grinned, his face still a bit red.

"Very wisely," Gibbs replied as he pulled him even closer.

"I'm not moving too fast, am I?" Tony asked, looking up at Gibbs, his eyes full of concern.

"No," Gibbs said and kissed his forehead. "Not at all. You're doing everything perfectly."

"Glad to hear that," Tony grinned again and then lay back, letting out a sigh. "God, I don't want to get up."

"Me either, but we still have to decorate the tree, get the guest room set up."

"I know," Tony groaned again.

"Hey, you wanted to stay here," Gibbs joked, pinching Tony's side.

The younger man flinched violently and then let out a laugh. For a moment Gibbs just watched him laugh and he felt something in his stomach jolt. This was good.

#

"The tree looked smaller the last time I saw him," Tony said as he tried to put the star on top of it.

"Maybe it grew," Gibbs said as he put a small wooden ornament up on one of the branches.

They had set up the guest room for Jackson, had eaten a sandwich for lunch and had then proceeded to decorate the tree. Tony was currently standing on tiptoes and finally managed to put up the star on top of it.

"Stop joking," Tony laughed. "Without me you would have needed a ladder."

"You're maybe an inch taller than I am," Gibbs gave back as he reached up to give him another head slap.

His hand lingered afterwards though and as he stroked through his hair for a moment, Gibbs realized that Tony once more hadn't styled his hair in the morning.

"I like your hair like that," he said as Tony turned to look at him.

"Duly noted," Tony smiled. "And now come on. Let's get this thing fixed up before your dad arrives."

"Yeah," Gibbs replied and then watched Tony bend down to pick up one of the tree balls.

When he straightened, Gibbs' arms came around him from behind and he pulled Tony closer to him, sucking at his neck tenderly. He heard Tony groan quietly and he grinned as the younger man turned around, grabbed the sides of his face and then kissed him thoroughly. Gibbs felt the warm and tingly sensation in his stomach again and his cock, too, seemed to be very interested again. He kissed the younger man back in earnest, his hands on his hips as he drew Tony closer.

It was Tony who finally broke their kiss, breathing heavily as he touched his forehead against Gibbs' and looked deep into his eyes.

"God, if your dad wasn't coming over, I'd…"

He never got the chance to finish his sentence though because he was interrupted by none other than Jackson himself.

"What exactly would you do?" the older Gibbs asked and Gibbs stepped away from Tony as if he'd been burned.

He turned to look at his dad who was still standing by the front door, slightly red in the face. Gibbs wanted to say something but words failed him for the second time that day. His father still hadn't moved and the silence that hung over them was starting to become very uncomfortable. Gibbs had only just opened his mouth to say something, what exactly he wasn't quite sure, when Tony beat him to talking. He cleared his throat loudly as he stepped forward, his hand outstretched.

"Hi, I'm Tony," he said, his voice sounding surer than Gibbs felt.

"DiNozzo," Jackson let out a laugh as he took the younger man's hand. "I'm Jack."

"Nice to meet you."

"How in the world do you know Tony DiNozzo?" Jackson said, his eyes darting towards his son who was still standing shock frozen by the tree.

"We met on a case," he answered automatically. "How in the world do you even know who he is?"

"Hey!" Tony cried out, playfully upset – and Gibbs immediately knew that he was trying to diffuse the tension in the air – "I'll have you know, I'm very well-known."

"And I do watch movies, Leroy," Jackson said and with sudden relief, Gibbs realized that he was actually smiling. "So how long have you two been together?"

Gibbs nearly choked on his own spit at the question but once more Tony saved him the trouble as he answered.

"Not long, couple of weeks."

"You must be special if he lets you spend Christmas here," Jackson remarked as he put his luggage on the floor and moved into the living room.

"You know I'm right here," Gibbs said because he really didn't like Jack talk as if he wasn't even in the room.

"Relax," Jackson chuckled and then sat down on the couch. "I'm not here to cause any trouble. Though you really are full of surprises."

"Dad," Gibbs started warningly but Tony interrupted him once again.

"Would you like some coffee, Jack?"

"Yeah, thanks Tony," the older man nodded and Tony walked over into the kitchen, looking pointedly at Gibbs urging him to talk to his dad.

Gibbs let out a sigh as he sat down next to his dad, idly wondering when he had started to obey to Tony's orders.

"I should've told you that we wouldn't be alone."

"It's not like I gave you a chance to talk," Jackson grinned.

"Not sure I would have told you even if you did."

"I know," Jackson replied solemnly. "But really, I'm not here to cause trouble. If you think that shagging with that famous actor in your kitchen makes you happy then do it."

"It's much more than that, Dad. _He_ 's much more than that," Gibbs started but was cut off by his dad as he shook his head.

"I can see that. Even if you think I never knew what was going on with you, I know stuff, Leroy."

"You wish," Gibbs breathed out and just like that things were back to normal – or as normal as they could be considering they hadn't seen each other in over ten years.

#

"I love your dad," Tony yawned as he climbed into bed with Gibbs a couple of long and painful hours later.

They had spent a quiet evening with Jackson, talking about nothing in particular, in the dim light of the lights on the Christmas tree. Even Gibbs who usually hated sitting around like that couldn't help but feel relaxed and grounded even if he could have lived without his dad's comment about him not hearing as well as he used to just before they went up to bed.

"You wouldn't say that if you grew up with him," Gibbs grumbled good-naturedly. "And you only say that because he told you that story about my first kiss."

"Well, it was funny," Tony actually giggled at the memory. "It's not every day you get kissed in your father's store and right in front of him – and then say thank you."

"Well, it was nice," Gibbs said, pinching him.

"And you were very polite," Tony said teasingly as he leaned into him and kissed him soundly. When he backed away, he smiled at him and then added. "Thank y _ou_."

"Oh, shut up."

"No, but seriously, I like him. Don't know why you were so afraid to tell him."

"I don't know either," Gibbs replied as he switched off the lights. "I just didn't expect him to be fine with me being gay or whatever."

"He ever gave you an indication that he wouldn't be?"

"No, but we never really talked about stuff like that. Or in general. Though, he's always been open-minded, I suppose. His best friend, the one I'm named after, is a black man and believe me, that wasn't exactly common back then."

"Yeah," Tony said, yawning widely again. "Like I said, I love him."

"Just don't tell him. You'll never get rid of him."

"Not sure that would be a bad thing," Tony mumbled as he snuggled into him.

"Just you wait."

"I will," Tony said, reaching up to kiss him quickly before he laid his head on Gibbs' chest. "Merry Christmas, Jethro."

"Merry Christmas, Tony."


	25. Free Sentiments

**A/N: Thank you for your reviews and a happy new year to you all of you. I'm sorry for the looong wait on this one, but well, Christmas and family happened, a brand new puppy happened, too, so I hardly had any time for myself. Sorry.**

* * *

 **Free Sentiments**

"Come on, I already hear my dad walking around downstairs."

"But sleepy," Tony replied groggily and Gibbs couldn't help but smile at the bleary eyed man next to him.

"Then go back to sleep, I'm going to make some coffee."

Gibbs got up, quickly dressed and then went downstairs to find his father sitting in the kitchen already nursing a cup of coffee. Gibbs poured one for himself and nodded satisfied as he realized that they still drank it the same way. Black. Strong. Bitter.

They sat in silence for a while, reading yesterday's paper and generally just trying to wake up. They had always done that and it felt oddly normal despite the fact that they hadn't talked to each other in so long. It was only when Gibbs was through with his second cup of coffee that Jackson cleared his throat, causing Gibbs' inner danger sensor to go off.

"Just spit it out, Dad."

"Leroy," Jackson chuckled. "Why are you such a skeptic?"

"Because I'm usually right. And… you are dying to ask me something. I can tell."

"Just trying to wrap my head around this, that's all," Jack replied and actually winked at him.

"You got a problem with the gay part?"

"No, Leroy. You should know me at least that well. I'm just curious how the two of you came to be."

"Already told you. We met on a case, went out a couple of times as friends. You know how these things go."

"What does he see in you?"

"Hey," Gibbs replied vehemently.

"That's not what I meant. It's just… he's that famous movie star and you're a grumpy ex-Marine."

"I don't know either," Gibbs shrugged. "We just clicked from our first conversation on."

"Weird how that happens sometimes," Jackson nodded, looking oddly smug. "So do you think he can get us into movie premieres?"

"Oh, shut up," Gibbs just replied, sighing inwardly even as he realized that while his dad was a nosy bastard, he only meant well.

And he really seemed to be fine with it. Gibbs had just thought that he would have given him a much harder time over it but it didn't seem like Jack was really interested in causing trouble for once. Maybe he really had changed in the twelve years that he hadn't seen his son. Gibbs himself had changed, too, after all. Gone were the days of chasing substitutes for Shannon, gone were the days of believing he'd spend the rest of his life alone.

That thought made him stop dead in his tracks. Was he really already imagining spending the rest of his life with Tony? It was weird that this stray thought didn't have his pulse rushing or adrenalin pumping. It didn't even unsettle him. It was just out there and it didn't scare him one bit.

"Why are you smiling?" Jackson interrupted his train of thought as he looked up from the paper again.

"No reason."

"Just happy, huh?"

Gibbs didn't reply and he apparently didn't even need to because Jack just raised an eyebrow and then subtly shook his head before he took a sip from his coffee.

"Times are a changing."

Tony chose that exact moment to enter the kitchen, his hair sleep-mussed, his eyes still bleary.

"Good morning and merry Christmas," he said, yawning widely as he accepted a cup of coffee from Gibbs.

"Merry Christmas to you, too," Jackson said, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Sleep well?"

"Too well," Tony yawned again. "Almost missed Christmas morning."

That earned him a chuckle from both the Gibbs men. He took a sip of coffee and then ran a hand through his hair.

"So what did you guys use to do on this day?"

"Unpack presents, help his mom in the kitchen and then go out for a long snowy walk."

"I guess we can still do that, right?" Tony piped up, smiling softly. "I mean, the presents and taking a walk thing."

"Sure," Gibbs shrugged as if he didn't care either way while deep inside he felt his own happiness almost bubble over.

"And you can help me in the kitchen," Jackson cut in, chuckling. "I hate peeling potatoes."

"I'm the master of that," Tony replied smiling and then let his glance wander towards the Christmas tree in the living room. "So, presents?"

"You sure you're not six still?" Jackson said as he got up from the chair he had been sitting in.

"My Christmases generally sucked," Tony said quietly as he walked over, a fake smile plastered on his face. "Like to make some new memories."

"You got it," Gibbs replied, shortly taking his hand and squeezing it softly.

Tony gave him a small smile and then picked up a present that was lying under the tree to give it to Jackson. The older man took it with a raised eyebrow, apparently not having expected any presents at all, and then unwrapped it. He smiled as he retrieved a white woolen sweater. Tony had picked it up after Gibbs had told he'd come.

"Thank you," Jack said as he ran his hand over the material. "This feels expensive."

"It's nothing," Tony just waved him off as he winked at him.

Gibbs watched his father subtly shake his head as he looked at the sweater again as if it was something he'd never expected. And it only occurred to Gibbs right at that moment that he really hadn't. His dad had never met any of the other wives after Shannon, had never spent Christmas with any of them and it seemed like Gibbs wasn't the only one who had gone out of his way this year. He sat down next to the older man and then squeezed his shoulder as Tony handed him his present. With a smile on his lips, Gibbs took it. It was a small box and as he took off the wrapper, he saw a watch in there.

"Thanks," he mumbled, wondering how Tony had even remembered.

He'd told him all the way back in September that his watch had been acting up, had sometimes lost an hour just because it could. He'd said it like it didn't matter much and he idly wondered just how closely Tony was paying attention to him if he remembered the little things like that. Gibbs got up from the couch now and placed a chaste kiss on Tony's lips.

"You like it?"

"Love it," Gibbs nodded as he swapped the old watch with his new one.

He knew that it wasn't likely to be cheap but for once he didn't really care. He knew that Tony didn't care about the money, never bragged about it or insisted to buy him something, so Gibbs didn't even try to argue. It wasn't like Tony would expect much from him anyway.

Gibbs got his own presents from under the tree and handed his dad the first one. He couldn't help but smirk as Jackson unwrapped it, revealing a pocket watch that had already belonged to him. It had stopped working around the time Gibbs had gone off to the Marines and he had taken it with him to repair it in his free time but never got around it. He had found it in the attic earlier this year and had finally managed to have it running. Weird, how Jackson had chosen this exact year to try to reconnect with him. Gibbs watched his father run a trembling finger over the watch before he looked up to meet his son's eyes.

"I didn't know you had it all this time."

"I forgot about it, too," Gibbs replied quietly. "Found it earlier this year. Thought I'd give it another try. I hope it'll keep on working from now on."

"Me, too," Jackson replied thoughtfully and with a sinking sensation in his stomach, Gibbs realized that he wasn't only talking about the pocket watch.

There was much more to it than that and Gibbs suddenly knew that Jackson was thinking the same thing. It was all about them. They hadn't worked for years, not since his mother had died all these years ago, and maybe it was time to make amends. It wouldn't be easy, that much was for sure, but Gibbs realized that he really wanted to try. With a subtle nod of his head, Jackson looked away, so Gibbs did the same but not without a slightly warm feeling in his stomach as he handed the remaining present to Tony. The youngest man had apparently not been oblivious to what had been going on between the two Gibbses because he was smiling broadly at the both of them as he took the present.

Tony carefully unwrapped it and Gibbs felt his heart pick up pace as he realized that he really wanted Tony to understand what had motivated him to give it to him. The younger man looked up as he retracted the dog tags from the small box that Jethro had given him. He turned them over in his hand, reading Gibbs' name and military branch. Gibbs held his breath when Tony looked closer as he saw a date engraved. It was the date when he had decided to fly over to DC after Abby's call for help. It also marked the beginning of their relationship and Gibbs hoped that it would mean just as much to Tony as it did to him. When Tony looked up, Gibbs immediately knew that he'd given him the right thing. The younger man's eyes were brighter than before and they shone with untold thankfulness. He didn't say anything, just enveloped Gibbs in a tight hug.

Gibbs wanted to say how much it had meant to him that he had just come to him like that, how that date marked the last day he had had any alcohol and how his life had become indefinitely better since then. But he didn't say any of it. Partly because his dad was still there after all and partly because Tony seemed to understand anyway.

"Thank you," he just whispered and for some reason it was enough.

#

"You sure your dad will be alright alone?" Tony asked a couple of hours later as they were walking on a narrow path that lead through the snow and into a forest.

"Yeah," Gibbs just nodded as he took Tony's gloved hand into his own. "You miss him already?"

"Nah," Tony chuckled. "I just mean, it's Christmas. And Christmas is about family."

"It is," Gibbs relented. "But he knows we need some alone time."

"Do we?"

"Yeah," the older man just gave back as he poked Tony's side. "I haven't said thank you properly for the watch."

With that, Gibbs pulled Tony closer and then planted a kiss on his lips. He felt the younger man melt into it as his own arms came to a rest on Gibbs' hips. They stayed like that for a while, just savoring in each other's touch before Tony broke the kiss in order to look into Gibbs' eyes.

"Actually," he then said barely above a whisper. "I've got another present. I just wanted to give it to you in private."

He rummaged through the inner pocket of his coat and then retrieved two folded pieces of paper. Unceremoniously he handed them over and Gibbs opened them. It seemed to be a letter from a realtor. Gibbs skimmed over it quickly and then looked up at Tony with a questioning gaze.

"You sold your house in LA?"

"Yup," Tony nodded, taking Gibbs' hand again.

"Why?"

"Why?" Tony laughed out loud at that. "Because I want the center of my life to be here. With you."

"Are you sure?" Gibbs asked incredulously, wondering if he had talked about the distance between for too many times. "You don't need to."

"I know," Tony smiled again. "But I want to. I'm not talking about moving in together or anything. Not for now. But I've got this awesome apartment here, and I want to be around you more. I'm cutting back on filming as it is anyway, so there's no reason to hang around LA all the time. I can easily catch a plane anyway. So what do you say?"

He had spoken very quickly as if he was releasing nervous energy and it was only when Gibbs squeezed his hand again that he breathed out.

"It's a great present, Tony. Thank you."


	26. Free Friends

_**A/N: Thank you for all your reviews! :) Sorry for the long wait - again.**_

* * *

 **Free Friends**

Gibbs listened to Tony's phone call and wondered how he and his lawyer had ever gotten any work done. The two of them were joking like they were still twenty, talking about the latest basketball game and some random chick they had both known in college.

He watched Tony from where he was sitting in his kitchen, nursing a cup of coffee. The New Year had started off stressful with back to back cases and little time for himself. Through it all though, Tony had seemed to be content with just spending a couple of evenings and nights with him. Gibbs didn't know exactly why a world-famous celebrity would spend his time like that but he didn't ask, knowing that Tony really was happy – just as happy as Gibbs himself was. He couldn't remember a time when he simply wanted to get home as fast as humanly possible. But whenever five o'clock drew nearer, he found himself hoping that no dead sailor would show up until the next day and not for the obvious reasons. He simply wanted to get home and talk to Tony. They had talked a lot over Christmas, had even made plans for a weekend get-away some time in February and Gibbs had gotten more used to having Tony around than he had ever thought possible. He even felt comfortable talking about Shannon and Kelly with him even though it still pained him. But he didn't shut himself down whenever the topic came up and that certainly was a first. It was easy because Tony simply understood him on a deeper level and Gibbs didn't even try to analyze why that was. It simply didn't matter. He was just happy.

"Anyway," Tony brought him out of his thoughts as he talked to Ryan, his lawyer slash friend. "When you're here I'd love you to meet Jethro."

Tony casted a glance at Gibbs at that moment, grinning at him, and knowing very well that they hadn't talked about any of it. Gibbs knew that Ryan had always known that Tony was gay so that wouldn't be a surprise for him and Gibbs was fine with meeting him. He actually couldn't wait to meet him as he was dying to hear about College-Tony - the Tony he had been before he had become an actor. And yet, Tony hadn't proposed to meet any of Jethro's friends. He hadn't even mentioned it and he already had met Gibbs' team after all, but under complete different circumstances. It wasn't like Gibbs didn't want to tell them about how happy he was, it was just that he was still having trouble showing anyone that he cared, was still having trouble showing people his private life. He would soon have to, he knew that but he didn't want to rush it either. No better way to shock people.

"Awesome," Tony exclaimed into the phone and then spoke to Gibbs as he continued. "You free on Saturday?"

"Yeah," he nodded. "As long as…"

"He's in," Tony interrupted him. "As long as there's no new case."

Tony grinned at him and Gibbs couldn't help the twitching in the corners of his mouth either. Tony knew him too well by now and it was times like these that Gibbs actually hated having such an unpredictable job. He'd love to make plans with Tony for the weekends but he only could do so on those days that he wasn't on call and those had gotten rather rare lately. Maybe it was time to bring in another MCRT with the murders piling up like that.

Tony had ended the call now and sat down next to him, nonchalantly bringing his hand to Gibbs' hair, softly running his fingers through it.

"Hope that was alright?"

"Yeah," Gibbs nodded and then leaned back into the touch. "Does he know any good stories about you?"

"The best," Tony grinned. "Though I will have to tell him not to talk about Mindy Jackson."

"Mindy Jackson?"

"Yeah, she was reeeaally popular with the boys of my frat. But that's all I'm going to say about her."

"I'll just ask Ryan then."

"You do that," Tony said, leaning in to steal a quick kiss.

"Hey Tony," Gibbs started over afterwards. "You're not mad you haven't met my people yet, right?"

"But I already have?" Tony asked, furrowing his brow.

"No, I mean in terms of 'This is Tony, my boyfriend.'"

"I know," Tony nodded. "And no, I'm not mad. I'm willing to wait and all. I know that it takes some cojones to out yourself. Though, I thought that Abby knew?"

"She does but only because she sensed that something was going on. Plus, she kind of gave us the final love tap."

"She did," Tony grinned again. "Though it could have been much easier than that."

"Yeah," Gibbs replied, sighing. "You're right."

"Water under the bridge. We're here now. Nothing else matters."

Gibbs wanted to reply something but Tony's cell phone took that exact moment to chirp to life. Groaning and regretfully letting go of Gibbs, Tony went to pick it up. His irritation soon gave way to a broad smile though and from what Gibbs could gather, he'd just scored a movie role for himself. Gibbs raked his brain trying to think about a casting that Tony went to but came up empty. It must have been before they had gotten together. When Tony hung up though, he sat down next to him, grinning broadly.

"I got it!"

"Which one?" Gibbs almost laughed out loud at the sheer joy the other man was radiating.

" _Finding Neverland_!" Tony keened. "I actually got it."

"When did you audition for it?"

"I didn't," Tony smiled. "Sometimes the writers just write their screenplay thinking about a special actor and send it to them. Apparently this time it's been me."

"That's great," Gibbs replied, wondering just how much he didn't understand about the film business. "When do you start filming?"

"Three weeks from now," Tony let out a sigh. "In Vancouver."

"Vancouver?"

"Yeah, production is cheaper there sometimes."

They dwelled in silence for a while after that. Gibbs hated seeing him leave so soon but then again he was happy for Tony to have scored the movie. It seemed really important to him and Gibbs himself had loved it, too, when he had read the script.

"I really hope they're going to direct it the way I envisioned it because this could be great," Tony finally said. "This could be my break from all the action movies. Maybe this is what I need to become a serious actor."

"I hope it'll work out," Gibbs said, giving him a soft kiss on the cheek and sensing that this was for some reason really important to the other man. "You're going to do great."

"You think it'll work out?" Tony asked and he suddenly seemed so insecure that Gibbs briefly wondered how the guy had ever plucked up the courage to step in front of a camera.

"How am I supposed to know?" Gibbs grinned. "But people love you and you're a good actor. I'm sure you'll be great."

The smile that greeted his response was almost blinding and a real one and it actually made Gibbs warmer inside, too.

#

"So, Gibbs, tell me," Ryan said, nursing his beer.

The place was packed, so nobody was paying any attention to the guy in old jeans, a sweatshirt and a baseball hat. Nobody suspected that they were near a famous movie star.

"What did you think of Tony when you first met him?"

"He hated me," Tony cut in only to be cut off by Gibbs in return.

"I didn't hate you. I just thought you were an arrogant prick."

"But just because I stopped your criminal."

"Sure, sure," Gibbs laughed and took a sip from his bourbon. "You _were_ arrogant right until I told you that I'd arrest you."

"You did?" Ryan laughed. "Damn, that would have been a hard one to bail you out of, Anthony."

"Yeah, yeah," Tony said, waving it off. "Not one of my brightest moments but look where it led me."

"In any case closer to me," Ryan said apparently unaware of the look Tony and Gibbs were sharing. "It's much easier to get from NYC to DD than to LA after all. So thanks for that, Gibbs."

"My pleasure," Gibbs quirked a lopsided grin and then Tony took his hand under the table.

They continued to chit chat for a while and Gibbs could see why Tony liked the guy that much. He was fun to be around, honest and didn't give a damn about Tony being famous. Gibbs had felt himself relax around the guy in the first five minutes after he had met him. He had initially been a bit careful, having met Tony's former manager, but Ryan did indeed seem more of a friend than a business acquaintance. Tony seemed to be himself around him, too, so Gibbs had pulled down his guard, too, knowing that Tony would call him out on it anyway.

Tony let his thumb run over the back of Gibbs' hand and with a start the older man realized that they were actually holding hands in public. They hadn't really done that before and it was weird that he hadn't even realized that before now. It felt natural and he realized that he didn't mind anyone knowing. He simply didn't care.

"So, tell me about Mindy Jackson," Gibbs said now, earning himself a nudge on the shoulder from Tony.

"Ah! Mindy," Ryan grinned. "Good old Mindy. I actually ran into her a couple of months back. She's married with, I believe, four kids. And she was wearing Mom-Jeans."

"Mom-Jeans?"

"Oh you know, starts right under the breasts and ends somewhere around the ankles."

"Ah," Gibbs just made, realizing that Stephanie had been wearing many of those.

"She would have killed us if we'd told her she'd end up like that," Tony grinned. "She used to tell us that she'd be married to Jon Bon Jovi and be his tour groupie or something."

"She was fun, though," Ryan laughed and then continued, but suddenly Gibbs didn't listen anymore.

He had let his glance wander around the bar while Tony had been talking and had then felt his heart sink. Abby had just entered the place. She was with a couple of weird looking friends who seemed out of place even in a bar like that.

"Earth to Gibbs?" Tony's voice brought him back to his table. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Gibbs said. "Abby's here."

"She is?" Tony said and then followed Gibbs' glance.

"Who's Abby?"

"She works with Gibbs," Tony explained.

"And she doesn't know about you two?"

"She knows but not officially, I think."

"Is that going to be a problem? Do you want to go someplace else?" Ryan asked, worry clearly visible on his face and Gibbs wondered why the guy was being so understanding.

"No, it's okay," he said, shrugging it off.

He felt a bit off, but in the end he didn't particularly mind. Abby knew about them after all and it wasn't like Gibbs hadn't just thought about how comfortable he was around Tony.

"You sure?" Tony checked back as he went to let go of Gibbs' hand, but the older man grabbed it only tighter.

"Yup, sure."

They continued to talk about Mindy and college for a while until Gibbs was able to hear a loud screech even over the commotion of the bar around them. Abby had finally spotted them as she waved at him and then made her way over to them, thankfully leaving her friends standing where they had been.

"Gibbs," she greeted him enthusiastically as she all but pulled him up from the chair he had been sitting on. "Fancy seeing you here."

Before he could even reply, her glance had settled on Tony and for an instance Gibbs had the fleeting sensation to put a hand to her mouth to make sure that she wouldn't shout out his name, but maybe he should have known better because a broad smile appeared on her face instead as she went to hug him, too.

"Wow, almost didn't recognize you," she said as she let go of him. "I'm so happy to see you again."

"Right back at you," Tony shot back, grinning at her. "And this," he pointed at Ryan who was watching Abby almost in fascination. "Is Ryan O'Malley, a friend of mine."

"Nice to meet you," Abby said and Gibbs almost laughed out loud at the flirty tone. "Really nice to meet you."

"You want to join us?" Ryan asked and with a start Gibbs realized that he wasn't totally against the idea that was Abby, either.

"I'd love to," Abby said, sighing. "But I can't. I'm meeting somebody."

"Who?" Tony asked with ease and Gibbs wondered how it was any of his business asking her.

Abby, however, didn't seem to mind as she answered as if it was no big deal. "Kate and McGee."

 _Oh._

 _Shit._


	27. Free Freak-Outs

A/N: Thanks for your feedback! :) Very much appreciated! :)

* * *

 **Free Freak-Outs**

"That a problem?" Abby asked, apparently only just having realized that Gibbs had spaced out for a moment.

"No," Gibbs shook his head.

"You sure?" Tony asked. "We can always leave, you know."

"No," Gibbs replied firmly. "We've planned this. It's not like they haven't met you before. We're friends, right?"

"We are," Tony grinned. "You think you can pretend?"

"I've done an undercover stint or two," Gibbs rejected the mere thought of it and then quipped. "Why? Are you saying you can't?"

That got him a chuckle from both Ryan and Abby, but Tony just quirked a grin.

"I can. Not that I want to, but it's no big deal."

"I'm just not ready," Gibbs sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"That your way of saying you're sorry?" Tony joked, knowing that Gibbs never apologized.

"Yeah, smartass."

"You're ridiculous. You know that, right?" Abby cut in. "They won't care."

"I know and it's not about that," Gibbs said indignantly. "It's just not the time yet."

"Alright," Abby shrugged and then sat down next to Ryan. "Then I'll just wait here for them if that's okay?"

"Sure," Ryan answered, smiling at her. "But what about your other friends?"

"What friends?"

"The ones you came in with?" Tony laughed.

"Oh, them. They're not my friends. Just happened to get in at the same time and we started talking."

They continued to talk like that for a while. Gibbs wasn't entirely comfortable hiding his relationship but he didn't think he was ready yet. Casting a couple of glances at Tony who was watching the flirt between Abby and Ryan with amusement, Gibbs noticed that he didn't seem to mind hiding. He'd done it a lot of times before after all. So he concentrated on the conversation around him again, figuring that it would all work out.

It fascinated him how a man like Ryan, a white collar kind of lawyer, could be interested in Abby who seemed to be the complete opposite of him. Of course, Gibbs had seen that Ryan was a good guy, so that he could even forgive him for being a lawyer, but yet the flirt that was going on between the two had to be astonishing for everyone.

"What are you grinning about?" Tony raised him from his thoughts as he whispered into his ear.

"Those two," Gibbs replied. "How does that even match?"

"You never know," Tony grinned. "Maybe it's a match made in heaven."

"Sure."

"Hey, you never know," Tony said, bumping his shoulder against Gibbs'. "Unlikely has never stopped anybody."

"Especially not Abby," Gibbs whispered as he leaned closer towards Tony.

He wanted to continue but then fell silent when he spotted Kate and McGee walking towards them, both looking highly confused. They greeted them friendlily enough though. When they had ordered their drinks, Kate cleared her throat before she looked at Tony and Gibbs realized with a slight grin that she had turned the tiniest bit of red again. What was it about Tony that had her all flustered? She had protected the president after all. Why was the guy so special?

"So what are you doing here in DC?" she asked briskly.

"Moved here," Tony shrugged.

"How come?" McGee asked and he, on contrary to Kate, seemed to be genuinely interested in the answer.

Gibbs watched Tony shrug as he took his time to answer. His shoulders were suddenly set and the relaxed stance he had sported the whole evening was suddenly gone. He wasn't looking directly at McGee but someplace above his head. With a start Gibbs realized why that was. He wasn't comfortable lying to them. Actor that he was, Gibbs was sure that the two of them and even Abby wouldn't notice but it suddenly had the older man feeling all funny inside. Tony didn't deserve being tense like that. Just when he was about to say something – what exactly, he wasn't quite sure, Tony beat him to talking.

"I'm tired of LA, that's all."

As if to prove his point, he suddenly yawned widely and then stretched his arms. Gibbs was still on the fence to just out himself when the dog tags he had given Tony for Christmas found their way out of the collar of Tony's shirt. Tony didn't seem to have noticed as he continued to talk to McGee.

"You should see the people who live there. Think they're the greatest on earth. I just like the occasional quiet here in DC."

Tim, on the other hand, didn't seem to pay attention to him anymore. His eyes were fixed on the dog tags and as he was sitting right next to Tony, Gibbs was sure that he was able to read what was engraved there. As if to prove his suspicion, McGee grabbed one of the tags and then let out a breath as he let it drop back to Tony's chest. The owner of the dog tags had long turned around to look at Gibbs and as the older man saw Tony's wide eyes, he just shrugged.

What did it matter anyway? It didn't matter that he wasn't comfortable with them knowing, all that mattered was that Tony was happy. And right at that moment the man wasn't happy. He was tense and maybe even a bit scared.

"These are Gibbs'," McGee finally stated the obvious as he looked from Gibbs to Tony and back to Gibbs.

"Does that mean…," Kate interrupted him, turning impossibly redder in the face. "What I think it means?"

"Cat's out of the bag, huh?" Gibbs said causing Tony to raise an eyebrow and then to grin broadly at him.

"Or the collar in this case," the actor said, eliciting a laugh from both Abby and Ryan who had been strikingly silent during the exchange so far.

Gibbs just shook his head as he bumped his knee against Tony's thigh, signaling that everything was fine.

"Wow," McGee said, but he was smiling slightly, so Gibbs let out a breath he hadn't been aware he had been holding as he nodded at his youngest agent.

He received a slight nod in return and Tony took that exact moment to grab for Gibbs' hand under the table. Gibbs took it without a second thought, squeezing it softly and received another smile from Tony.

"You okay?" Tony then said light-heartedly to McGee. "You look a little pale there, buddy."

"I'm… I'm f-f-fine," McGee answered. "Just surprised. I'm glad you're… glad."

"Alright then," Tony grinned and slapped McGee's shoulder.

"What about the wives?" Kate suddenly burst out and her voice sounded venomous even over the sound level of the bar.

"What about them?" Gibbs asked, raising an eyebrow at her because this was clearly no way to talk to him.

"Easy," Tony mumbled next to him, making sure that no one else heard him.

"They're all fake, too?"

"What?" Gibbs bit out, feeling rage rise inside of him even as Tony squeezed his hand reassuringly under the table.

"Were they all a cover?" Kate asked unaware of the shocked glances Abby threw at her.

"Not that it's any of your business," Gibbs said calmly but deadly. "But no. This thing with Tony just happened."

"Right," Kate fumed. "Who believes that?"

"It's the truth."

Kate only snorted in response and just when Gibbs wanted to tell her off, wanted to shout at her, wanted to do just something, Tony had stood up, his hand still firmly in Gibbs' as he declared:

"We should probably go."

"No," Gibbs pulled Tony down again. "It's alright. If someone's irritated, it's not our problem."

He hadn't looked at the younger man instead his eyes had never left Kate's. She turned even redder now and for a moment it seemed like she wanted to retort something but then she just got up and was about to leave the table when McGee, of all people, put a hand on her arm to hold her back. With wide eyes Gibbs watched the scene unfold in front of him. When in the world had McGee grown that kind of balls? He had been afraid of Kate only weeks ago and now he was standing up to her like this?

"Kate," the probie said calmly but decisively. "What's the problem? This is still Gibbs. Nothing's changed."

Kate opened her mouth once and then twice but she didn't manage to make a sound as she looked from Gibbs to McGee and back again. Gibbs could see that she was thinking hard about something but it didn't seem as if she was coming to any conclusions.

"Kate," Abby suddenly spoke up. "Just think about all the movies we'll get to see before everyone else!"

That actually got her a chuckle out of Tony who nodded at her with a wink. "And movie premieres," he added for good measure.

That finally got Kate to sit down again. She looked a bit sheepish and was still red in the face as her eyes traveled to McGee again.

"Nothing's changed," he said again and finally Kate nodded.

She mumbled something while looking at both Gibbs and Tony. Gibbs hadn't caught any of it but knew that it was most likely an apology, so he quirked a grin even though he was still angry at her. At the same time he was amazed how Abby and especially McGee had made her see sense like that. Maybe his team was finally becoming exactly that – a team. Perhaps they'd get through this, too.

"That better not be an apology, Todd," he finally said briskly, knowing that Kate would get the reference to his rules.

"Well, I _am_ sorry," Kate said.

"It's okay," Tony sighed and then smiled at her. "I can't wait to get to know all of you better. Can't tell you how glad I am that people like you look out for him every day."

"You're welcome?" Kate said quizzically.

"Well, now that that's settled," Ryan, who hadn't said a single word in almost half an hour, suddenly piped up. "How about another drink?"

There were approving mumbles to be heard all around and soon the conversation was flowing again, even if they carefully avoided talking about Gibbs and Tony and Gibbs was only reluctantly addressing Kate. It would take some time for things to get back to normal but they would turn out to be good again, Gibbs was sure of that.

#

"That's not exactly how I wanted this night to turn out," Tony all but giggled a couple of hours later.

"Drunk?"

"No, I expected that," Tony replied grinning as he followed Gibbs up the stairs towards the bedroom. "Didn't think you'd have to out yourself like that. And what the fuck was wrong with Kate? I mean really. You're just her boss, what is it to her?"

"No clue," Gibbs shrugged as he got rid of his socks and pants. "I mean we're close and that's why I'm wondering what has her so upset, too. I'll talk to Abby. I'm sure she knows."

"Yeah, you do that," Tony yawned as he got under the covers and then waited for Gibbs to do the same to snuggle closer to him. "You alright?"

"Yeah, just glad it's over."

"Okay," Tony yawned again. "Night, Jethro."

"Night, Tony."


	28. Free Surprises

A/N: I swear, I'm trying to write this faster but at the moment it's so hard for reasons unknown. But I'm positive I'll have the remaining two chapters posted within the next two weeks. Anyway, thank you so much for taking the time to read and review this. You guys rock! :)

* * *

 **Free Surprises**

The week that followed was mostly uneventful. Tony and Gibbs mostly hung out at home or took a walk and just enjoyed each other's company. It was like nothing big had changed and yet Gibbs felt oddly fulfilled. He was out, had a great time every time he spent it with the younger man and he was happy for the first time in years. Betimes he still felt sad about Shannon and Kelly but the numbing pain seemed to be gone, instead replaced by a painful traction in his heart every time something Tony did reminded him of Shannon. It felt almost good, though. It was like he had finally managed to make some space in his heart for another person. It didn't mean that he was forgetting about the girls but that Tony was adding to them and it somehow made all the difference.

He was dreading the four weeks that Tony would spend in Vancouver for it would be the first time in what felt like months that he wouldn't see the other man on a daily basis. It was odd how used he had gotten to having him around. He knew that four weeks was nothing in comparison to his time with the Marines but it felt too long. Tony didn't mention it but Gibbs could see that he was feeling the same way, though he tried to hide it behind those jokes of his. Gibbs didn't particularly mind, he was glad for any distraction. Maybe it was part of why they fit like that. The part of Gibbs that was much too serious was overlapped by Tony's humor.

#

Gibbs sighed and looked at his watch for the umpteenth time in the last half an hour. Time seemed to have stopped and while he knew that any case they'd get would be immediately forwarded to Balboa's team, he was still feeling slightly on edge as if a free weekend with actual plans on his side were too good to be true.

Tony had been gone for two weeks already and while they had texted and called each other every day, Gibbs couldn't help but feel lonely. He had spent more time in the basement than it was good for him but he had yet to touch a sip of bourbon. He hadn't drank any of it all on his own since Tony had come to him that night telling him about how much he hated alcoholics. He had had two glasses that night at the bar but that didn't mean that he had started drinking again. He didn't even feel the need to. Everything was well for once and while he did feel lonely, it was an entirely different lonely than before he had gotten together with Tony. It felt oddly good to miss somebody again and then to be just able to pick up his phone and call him.

But nights in the basement weren't on the agenda this weekend. Instead a plane would soon take him Vancouver to surprise Tony soon. He hadn't told him knowing that the younger man would tell him not to come as it would be too stressful and not worth flying for only seeing him for a couple of hours. Gibbs knew all of that but he didn't care one bit. He wanted to see him and for once they weren't on call, so he'd taken his chance, booked a flight and would soon be in the air.

"Gibbs, Gibbs, Gibbs," Abby raised him from his thoughts. "What are you doing on Sunday? Because I promised the sisters to help renovate their serving counter for the homeless and we still need a strong man to do the heavy lifting."

"I'd love to but I can't," Gibbs said feeling like he had just said no to a brand new puppy with the way Abby was looking at him.

"What are you doing?"

"I'll be in Vancouver," Gibbs shrugged, trying to downplay the meaning of it but of course Abby let out a squeal a second later causing both Kate and McGee to look at them.

"Oh, you're visiting Tony!"

"Abs," Gibbs grinded out, "keep it down."

"Sorry," Abby said looking around but except for the immediate team members nobody had taken notice of her outburst. "Pack your gloves, it's going to be cold."

"It's Canada," McGee cut in. "It's always cold there."

Gibbs just snorted, idly wondering when McGee had learned to speak up and how to make a joke. The kid was growing up and he would soon be a very good agent. Kate on the other hand had gotten a bit quieter over the last couple of weeks and while she hadn't made any snide comments about Tony and him, there was still something bothering her. That much was plain to see. Gibbs didn't care much as she still did her work the way she used to but he missed her quirky remarks from time to time. He hoped that she would get around it eventually or at least tell him what was bothering her that much. For now he didn't want to force the subject as he was glad that the rest of them had been so accepting.

"What movie is he shooting?" McGee asked while he still kept on writing his report, an ability that Gibbs envied him for.

"It's a movie about the guy who wrote Peter Pan."

"That doesn't sound very action-y," Abby said.

"It's not."

"Yeah?" she checked back. "That's awesome. Kate and I have always been talking about how we'd love to see him in a different kind of movie."

"Tell him that," Gibbs shrugged. "He really wanted to do it but was a bit reluctant because he thought no one would want to see him serious."

"Who is he kidding?" Abby said. "I'd watch a movie with him just sitting on a couch, looking pretty."

"I'm sure he'll be great," Kate suddenly joined the conversation which earned her a nod from Gibbs and a wide smile from Abby. "He's a good actor."

"He is," Gibbs said, quirking a smile at her.

Nothing else was said between them but Gibbs realized that it had taken her a lot to just say those couple of words. Maybe she was already getting around. At least it seemed like she was trying.

"And now shoo," Abby interrupted their eye-contact. "It's five. Get out of here before you guys get called in again.

#

Gibbs yawned widely as he got out of the elevator at Tony's hotel a few long hours later. Luckily Tony had let slip his room number a couple of days ago, so that Gibbs could easily surprise him by just knocking on his door. He had called him right after he had landed, telling him how he was just having dinner at his house back in DC and how much he hated doing it alone. Tony had sounded tired but happy to hear him, so Gibbs was sure that he would actually want him there, too.

He finally located Tony's suite and then knocked loudly, yelling "Room service."

He heard some shuffling from the inside before the door opened.

"I haven't ordered anything," Tony mumbled more than he actually spoke as he seemed to have just gotten out of bed.

"Are you sure?" Gibbs asked and it was only then that Tony looked at him, his eyes growing wide.

"Jethro," he then exclaimed, smiling broadly, the tiredness from seconds before suddenly gone as he all but dragged him into the room and then drew him in a tight embrace. "What are you doing here?" he asked after a soft kiss.

"Wanted to surprise you," Gibbs shrugged as if it was the most normal thing on earth. "I was lonely."

"Me, too," Tony replied, kissing him again. "Can't believe you came all the way up here."

"Free weekend," Gibbs shrugged again. "Why not spend it with you far away from home?"

His voice had gotten deeper all of a sudden and he had no idea why that was. Maybe it was the sight of Tony's unruly from sleep hair or the beard he hadn't shaved in a couple of days. He looked delicious and as sudden warmth spread in his stomach, Gibbs realized that while there had been plenty of hand and blow jobs on both accounts so far, it wasn't enough – not anymore. Tony hadn't complained that they had been taking things slow but Gibbs knew that he was just patiently waiting for his turn. Maybe it was time to move things forward.

"Mhm," Tony just let out as Gibbs got rid of his coat and shoes as he moved into the other man again, stealing another kiss. "I really like your visit so far."

"Me, too," Gibbs replied as he let his hands wander under Tony's t-shirt.

He felt Tony grab hold of his sweater and pull him closer towards him. Gibbs let out a little squeaking sound of surprise but recovered quickly as he wrapped his arms around Tony's waist. He was kissing him in earnest now, his tongue opening Tony's mouth and pushing himself deep into it. Tony let out a startled moan and Gibbs smiled into the kiss. He grabbed Gibbs' hair and pulled his face even closer, his fingers tangled in the short hair. The kiss was so intense that Gibbs let out a needy sigh when Tony suddenly drew back, his eyes searching for Gibbs'.

"You're the one to call the shots," Tony said, still out a breath but not the least bit tired anymore.

"Yeah," Gibbs just said and smiled again, at the same time feeling himself heat up even more at the sheer understanding in the other man's eyes. "I want it. You."

"Okay, then," Tony grinned. "Finally," he added jokingly which managed to loosen Gibbs up, even though he hadn't even realized he had been uncomfortable before. "Get undressed," Tony then whispered throatily into his ear, grinning as Jethro shivered ever so slightly.

He complied though and then watched Tony do the same. He took a moment to enjoy seeing the younger man's naked body. He'd seen him before of course but he still marveled at him every time he saw him. He felt Tony's glance on him as he raked his eyes over his body until he reached his cock. With sudden realization Gibbs realized that it was already pulsing and standing erect. He let his eyes wander towards Tony's dick and was mildly satisfied that it looked very much alike his own.

Tony moved closer and then guided Gibbs onto his back and lowered himself down on top of him, covering his upper body with soft kisses. As he looked up for a moment, Gibbs couldn't help but give him a broad smile. Propping himself up on his arms so that they were face to face, Tony asked:

"How do you want this? You want to be on top?"

Gibbs blinked, realizing that he'd been stupid because he hadn't even thought about it until now. He had just wanted to be as physically connected to the man on top of him as they were mentally. He finally shook his head. "No."

"You don't?" Tony asked, surprise clearly perceivable in his voice. He kissed him again. "You sure?"

"Yup."

"Alright then."

Another kiss, a slow one now, gentle and deep and Gibbs felt himself unwind beneath the other man asthe last of the tension left his body muscle by muscle. Gibbs was feeling almost boneless when Tony got up for a moment and rummaged through his suitcase before retrieving a bottle of lube.

"Always be prepared," Tony muttered. "Should be one of your rules."

"It is," Gibbs grinned back but sobered quickly at Tony's intense gaze.

"We can still stop," the younger man said but Gibbs just shook his head. He really wanted this.

He kissed him again then felt Tony push his legs apart, lubing up a finger and then slowly, agonizingly slow, slid a finger inside him, never once taking his eyes off Gibbs' face. The older man let out a moan but he wasn't sure whether it was because it hurt or because it felt just good. He finally decided on the latter as he relaxed into Tony's touch as he worked his finger in and out of his body. The younger man continued his ministrations for a while and Gibbs was feeling the heat spread within him as Tony added another finger and after a few moments a third one. It didn't hurt anymore and he almost let out a whimper when Tony's fingers suddenly left him. Tony leaned down again, kissing him once more as he opened up the lube again and thoroughly spread it over his own cock. He settled between Gibbs' legs again and then looked at him.

"You ready?"

"Goddamn, yes," Gibbs just let out, unable to wait much longer as he had been on edge since Tony's finger first entered him. "Come on."

"You tell me when it's too much," Tony whispered and then nudged himself against Gibbs's entrance.

He then moved forwards, sliding his cock into Gibbs and then settling. Gibbs let out a breath as he tried to ride out the pain but was mildly satisfied when it didn't take much longer than a few seconds. Tony stayed still for what felt like an eternity as he just looked down on Gibbs and the guy looked so good that for a moment Gibbs wondered if he could come just like that, without even having been touched. Then, suddenly, Tony adjusted his position and thrust into him, causing Gibbs to gasp underneath him. It felt too good to let to keep it slow, so Gibbs wrapped his legs around Tony's body as he tried to force him in even deeper. He was relieved when Tony did him the favor, thrusting harder. Gibbs never took his eyes off him and Tony kept their gazes locked as he started to fuck him thoroughly.

Suddenly Tony adjusted his angle once more and Gibbs let out a surprised yelp as the younger man hit the exact right spot within him.

"God," he let out. "Keep doing that."

"My name's Tony," the younger man still managed to joke as he kept on driving into him relentless, each time getting Gibbs closer to the edge.

Gibbs already felt his body clenching around Tony's dick, feeling the sensation of just feeling the guy in him and he couldn't help to match the little sounds, gasps and moans that Tony started to let out with his own. Tony leaned forward and kissed him again just as Jethro arched up into him. Gibbs knew that he was coming close and it seemed like Tony knew it too because his thrusts seemed to get more desperate by the second. Gibbs nearly shouted out when Tony got ahold of Gibbs' leaking cock and began rubbing it firmly with each thrust of his hips. Their gasps had turned to deep moans as they gazed into each other's eyes. And then finally, Gibbs felt Tony spurt out inside of him, felt the drips of Tony's cum already dripping down inside of him and he just let go, shouting out Tony's name as his own climax rushed over him.

Tony hung there for a moment afterwards as he licked Gibbs' cum from his fingers and the older man idly wondered why the sight was so erotic that all he wanted to do was to get it on again, even though he felt so spent he didn't think he could move even if he wanted to.

"Definitely worth the wait," Tony breathed out as he finally moved and lay down next to Gibbs.

"Thanks for waiting," Gibbs replied, rolling over to place his head on Tony's chest.

"For you, I'll always wait."


	29. Free Snapshots

_**A/N: Hello, it's me... Look at that, much faster than I thought. Good thing inspiration hit last night :-) Thanks for your reviews :) Hope you like this one because it's a bit different - like the chapter says... only snapshots :)**_

* * *

 **Free Snapshots**

"And then… what do I say?" Tony groaned as he paced around the hotel room.

"When I think of your mother," Gibbs delivered, reading from the script. "I will always remember how happy she looked, sitting there…"

"In the parlor watching a play about her family, about her boys that never grew up," Tony continued, now remembering his lines.

Gibbs watched him go on from where he was sitting on the bed, his back against the headrest, his feet crossed. He plopped in another M&M and grinned when Tony groaned again.

"Why can't I remember this? It's not that hard."

"Maybe it's time for one of those cheat sheets of yours," Gibbs laughed.

"I never use them," Tony winked. "Only when strictly necessary. But I can't do that in the end scene, can I? It's too important."

"Then study," Gibbs laughed and then threw a candy at Tony who caught it with his hand out of reflex.

"I'm trying to," Tony grinned as he dropped down next to him. "But someone's distracting me."

"I can always go out."

"Don't you dare," Tony said and then leaned closer and gave him a chaste kiss.

Gibbs kissed him for a moment before he drew back, just looking at the guy a little more closely. He looked happy, his smile was genuine and the joy he seemed to radiate was profound.

"Are you happy, Tony?" Gibbs asked as he grabbed the younger man's hand and let his thumb rub over the back of it.

"Yeah, I really am," Tony answered pensively. "I'm finally doing what I really want to do. This movie is so great I can't even find the words. I've finally gotten rid of Andy and the never-ending hiding from everybody. And I found you. Really, I couldn't be any happier."

"Good," Gibbs just replied before he leaned in again and stole another kiss.

#

"Hey, you want to go on set with me?" Tony asked an hour later. "I mean the make-up will take a long time but I can show you around afterwards if you wanted."

"I'd love to," Gibbs nodded, knowing that it would make Tony's day.

He wasn't entirely convinced he really wanted to meet all these film biz people but Tony seemed to like them, so he'd give it a try.

"That reminds me," he continued. "Do you think you could get Abby an autograph from Dustin Hoffman? She's been asking me via texts all morning."

"Sure," Tony shrugged. "No big deal."

"Not to you," Gibbs shook his head. "You can give it to her yourself. She'll be over the moon."

"Is she always that excitable?"

"Oh yeah," Gibbs let out a laugh. "It's good to see though that an adult can still be so passionate about stuff."

"Refreshing," Tony nodded thoughtfully before he teased again. "So you don't want an autograph from Dustin Hoffman?"

Gibbs shook his head as he slapped Tony upside the head. "I don't think I've ever seen a movie with him."

"You're kidding," Tony cried out. "You've got to at least have seen _Rain Man_! Or wait, I'm betting all my money on _The Graduate_."

"Mrs. Robinson?" Gibbs checked back, vaguely remembering watching it with Shannon.

" _And here's to you, Mrs. Robinson, Jesus loves you more than you will know… woo woo woo_ ," Tony started to sing but stopped when Gibbs raised his hand to slap him again. "Alright," he then continued. "I'll stop, I'll stop."

They remained silent for a moment before Tony spoke up again. "Listen, if you're not comfortable, you don't have to accompany me, really."

"What?" Gibbs checked back, a bit surprised at Tony's reasoning. "No, I want to see where you work. I want to see you work."

"Nice," Tony beamed and Gibbs wondered if his ex-boyfriends weren't all that supportive before.

Discarding that particular train of thought, Gibbs got up as he asked, "Who else is in this movie? Don't want to embarrass you."

"You won't. Nobody cares. But there's also Kate Winslet and Julie Christie." At Gibbs' confused look, he added hastily, "and no one rings a bell. Jeez, you really need to watch more movies, Jethro."

"You sound like Kate," Gibbs grumbled good-naturedly.

"Well, she's right. Speaking of Kate, she said anything?"

"About us? No," Gibbs shook his head. "Not that she talked much to me at all. Though she did say you were a good actor right before I left yesterday. It was like she was handing me an olive branch."

"You take it?"

"Yeah," Gibbs sighed.

"You find out what her problem was?"

"I tried to ask Abby but she shut down any comment on the matter. Guess Kate will have to talk to me about it. Or we might never find out."

"Will it affect work?" Tony asked and he sounded genuinely worried all of a sudden. "I didn't want to intrude."

"You didn't. And it won't be a problem. She knows I have her back and the other way around. No issue."

"Good," Tony nodded as he got up and reached for his jacket. "Come on, let's go."

#

A couple of hours later did Gibbs hide his yawn behind his left hand. The tour of the set had been interesting and Tony had introduced him to a couple of nice people, but now that they were actually shooting Gibbs couldn't help but wonder about the repetitiveness of it all. He didn't know how many times they had already done that one scene he was currently watching. It must have been at least a dozen of times and the director still wasn't satisfied with it even though all the tries looked exactly the same to Gibbs.

"That boring?" a woman raised him from his thoughts as she sat down next to him.

"A bit," Gibbs admitted.

"Yeah, Marc can get a bit obsessed with his scenes sometimes."

"Marc?"

"Forster, the director," the woman smiled at him before she reached out her hand. "I'm Kate."

Gibbs turned to look at her more closely and then realized that he actually knew her, too. One of the ex-wives, and he really couldn't remember which one it had been, had dragged him to see the movie. He was pretty sure that everybody on earth must have seen it. _Titanic._ So this had to be that Kate Winslet that Tony had been talking about before. Though the name hadn't ringed a bell, her face certainly did. Plus, she was a redhead after all.

"Jethro," he answered, shaking her hand. "Pleasure to meet you."

"You're here with Tony, right?"

Gibbs just nodded, not knowing how to go on, but the actress did him the favor as she kept going.

"Close friend?"

Gibbs gulped and then internally shrugged. It wasn't like it was a secret after all.

"Boyfriend."

"Ah," she just made. "Then it's because of you that Tony's always in such a good mood?"

"No, he always is," Gibbs gave back. "Nothing to do with me."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that," she said. "I take it that you're not in the business?"

"Nope," Gibbs let out a laugh. "I'm a fed."

"Interesting," the actress said and just wanted to continue when Tony approached them, apparently finally having managed to satisfy the director.

"Talking about me?"

"Believe it or not," Gibbs replied, "no."

"Oh, I'm hurt," Tony laughed, bringing his hands to his heart in mock hurt.

"Not your fault your boyfriend's more interesting than you are," Kate said, playfully punching him in the shoulder.

"Well," Tony said, looking straight at Gibbs with a broad smile. "Don't be so sure of yourself, Ms. Winslet. My _boyfriend_ here doesn't have a clue about movies at all. I'm sure, he didn't recognize you. Don't flatter yourself."

"She was in _Titanic_ ," Gibbs cut in, grinning broadly at the disbelieving look on the younger man's face.

"You never cease to surprise me."

"Good, keeps you on your toes," Kate said and then excused herself with another handshake.

"She's nice."

"She is," Tony admitted. "You really knew her."

"Not by name," Gibbs grinned. "But she's a redhead. Hard to forget."

Tony let out another laugh and then pinched his shoulder as he went on. "I'm done here for today. You want to go grab a bite somewhere?"

"Yeah."

#

"So, on a scale from 1 to 10," Tony said in between two bites of steaks an hour later. "How bored were you today?"

"I wasn't bored," Gibbs contradicted him. "It was interesting to see how you work, though that one scene just didn't want to end."

"Yeah, I know," Tony sighed excessively. "I didn't think we'd ever finish."

"That happen often?"

"Sometimes," he nodded. "You just can't get it right. Or one of the actors messes up or you look directly into the camera and stuff like that… and you really weren't bored?"

"No," Gibbs gave him a smile. "I enjoyed myself."

"Good, 'cause I wouldn't want you to regret coming up here."

"Trust me, I won't," Gibbs just replied, raising an eyebrow and thinking about the night before.

"Right," Tony just gave back, grinning broadly. "Hey, you want to go for a walk later? I know, it's freezing but I could use a bit of fresh air."

"Absolutely."

#

"Shit," Tony cursed as he closed the door to their room two hours later. "Damn cold."

"You're in Canada, what did you expect?" Gibbs asked, rubbing his hands together.

"So you're saying you're not cold?"

"Not really," Gibbs said as he shrugged out of his coat.

They had been walking outside for about an hour, talking about nothing in particular, occasionally holding hands and stealing kisses. It had been great but Tony had started to shiver halfway into their walk, so they had decided to cut it short.

"How about taking a bath to warm you up?"

"Together?" Tony said, raising an eyebrow. "I might get warmer faster that way."

"You surely will."

#

Gibbs rested his chin on Tony's head. The younger man was lying with his back towards him, in between his legs, as they let the warm water soak them. Gibbs felt cozy and safe there with him and even though he was slowly getting hard by just feeling Tony against him, he didn't feel the need to kick-start anything because Tony, while not exactly sleeping, was laying there with his eyes closes, almost purring. It felt too comfortable to let their little bubble burst. He didn't even want to talk – he just wanted to be.

And Tony just let him.

#

When Gibbs woke up the next morning, he willed himself to stay still for a few more moments, trying hard not to think about the fact that he would be leaving in the afternoon. He was just about to turn around to snuggle closer into Tony that he realized that the younger man wasn't in bed anymore. Wondering what was up because Tony never got up before him he reluctantly opened his eyes and saw the younger man sitting on a chair reading a paper, his eyebrows furrowed.

"What's wrong?" Gibbs asked as he sat up. "Something happen?"

"How attached to your privacy are you, exactly?" Tony asked light-heartedly but Gibbs could see that he wasn't unconcerned.

"What are you talking about?"

"We messed up," Tony said and then threw the paper at Gibbs who caught it without difficulty.

Gibbs glanced at it then groaned. The headline read:

 _Tony DiNozzo Taken!  
Romantic walk in Vancouver with federal agent.  
See the exclusive pics here!_

He skimmed the article underneath two pictures of them from the day before and realized that they even knew him by name.

"How do they know who I am?" Gibbs asked, looking up at Tony who was now staring right back at him apologetically.

"Turn the page," he just said, so Gibbs did and was then faced with a picture of himself getting the paper in front of his own house back in Alexandria.

"They connected the points fast," he huffed, not bothering to read the rest of the article.

"They sure did," Tony said. "Are you mad?"

"No," Gibbs shrugged as he got up and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Not your fault. And it would've come out eventually."

"How are you so cool with this all of a sudden?"

"If being with you means having my face in the paper for a day, I don't give a damn. It's not like this changes anything."

"It doesn't."

"Nope," Gibbs grinned. "I still like you."

"Good. And for the record: I like you, too."


	30. Free

_**A/N: Here's the last chapter of this little story. When I started out I thought it would be around six chapters and look where it led me. 30 chapters (and I'm sorry that the last ones have taken forever) later and here we are. Thank you for all the reviews, hits, alerts and favorites. It still surprises me that people actually like my stories. So - thank you a lot! :) And in case nobody told you today, you are all awesome :)**_

 _ **Hope you enjoy!**_

* * *

 **Free**

Gibbs sometimes wondered how Tony and all the other celebrities were able to do that all the time. He snuck a look out of his drawn curtains and they were still there. Photographers. And a lot of them. The worst part of it was that Tony wasn't even there with him. He was still in Vancouver and while his house had been deserted late last night when he had gotten home from his weekend trip, Gibbs sure wasn't alone now. He sat down on the couch, running a hand through his hair. God, how had his life gotten there? He knew that he would have saved himself a lot of trouble if he hadn't started dating Tony but he also would have spared himself another shot at love. And he was sure that it actually was love this time around. The flutter in his chest whenever he just thought of Tony was enough to know that it was worth a lot – even those goddamned paparazzi in front of his house.

As if on cue, he heard police sirens and when he turned around, he saw two unmarked cars pulling up in front of the people outside. With a slight grin on his face, Fornell got out of one of them and flashed his badge. The photographers tried to argue for a few minutes but then they grudgingly packed up their stuff and went their ways. Only then did Gibbs open the door, handing a cup of coffee to both Fornell and Sacks. The younger agent took with a surprised frown before he went back to his car, leaving Fornell standing there with him. The FBI agent grinned at him and then took a sip from the offered beverage.

"I owe you one," Gibbs said, nodding at him.

"It's okay," Fornell laughed. "I married your ex-wife, I think we're even."

"Yeah," Gibbs let out a bark of a laugh.

"Though I wouldn't say no to a couple of free movie premieres or something."

"Yeah, that seems like all there is I have to offer these days," Gibbs gave back.

"Yeah, well. Perks of dating a movie star, Gibbs."

"Shut up," Gibbs just said as he bumped his shoulder against Fornell's when he passed him to get his own car. "Thanks, Tobias."

"My pleasure."

#

Gibbs hadn't really known what to expect when he arrived at the Navy Yard. He had no idea how the other agents would deal with the news of him being gay. When he entered the building though, he was greeted with the usual 'good morning's and that was really it. It was like nobody even cared and he let out a relieved breath at the realization. Of course, he had heard the hushed voices of a few younger agents behind his back but his reputation still preceded him. They didn't dare to say these things to his face. Not that he would have cared anyway but it was still nice to know that the fact that he was seeing a guy hadn't changed people's opinion of him. He had just sat down at his desk when Abby emerged from one of the elevators in the back and came running towards him, pulling him up into one of her rip-crushing hugs.

"Are you alright?" she asked when she had finally let go as he sized him up.

"Fine, Abs."

"You're not freaked out? About the press? About 'Don't ask, don't tell? About other people hating you?"

"Abs, people have always hated me."

"True," Abby grinned. "And you're really fine?"

"Yeah," he said, giving her a quick peck on the cheek just for the doubt of it. "Was bound to happen sometime."

Just when Abby wanted to reply something, none other than the director himself interrupted their exchange.

"Gibbs, my office. Now."

"Uh-oh," Abby made but Gibbs just winked at her.

He walked up the stairs, feeling a bit nauseous despite himself. He knew he'd done nothing wrong, he wasn't military after all, so it was no problem that he was gay, but they were still dealing with the Navy, he knew that.

"Listen," he said when he entered the office without a knock. "If this is about the FBI at my house…"

"What FBI…?" Morrow retorted, scrunching his face up in confusion. "I swear to God, Gibbs..."

"It was nothing, just a favor," Gibbs answered as he sat down in one of the chairs in front of Morrow's desk.

"I don't even want to know," Morrow replied, rubbing a hand over his face. "You do realize how much press this will give us?"

"The FBI being at my house?"

"No, Gibbs!" Morrow answered a bit indignantly, so Gibbs decided to drop the act right there and then.

"Look, we're not military. 'Don't ask, don't tell' doesn't apply to us."

"I know that," Morrow sighed. "I just wished you'd have come to me before an appalled Jenny Shepard rings me in the dead of the night that my top agent is gay."

"Jenny Shepard?" Gibbs asked, feeling anger bubble up inside of him.

 _What in the world…?_

"I can't say I wasn't at least a bit amused by her jealousy, but really, Gibbs. You have to tell me things like this."

"Why?" Gibbs retorted. "How is any of it your business?"

"You know damn well it _is_ my business. What the hell are you thinking?"

"You got a problem with me being gay?" Gibbs retorted, suddenly feeling his stomach sink because, really, he had respected the man in front of him a lot until now.

"What?" Morrow exclaimed hurriedly. "No! I do have a problem with losing my best undercover agent though."

 _Oh._

"Guess, you didn't think of that, did you?" Morrow asked slightly amused this time.

"Nope," Gibbs relented, feeling better at the man's relaxed behavior.

"Nothing to be done about that, I guess. You gotta train your agents though. I can't really picture Agent McGee being really invested during an undercover stint."

"Neither can I," Gibbs replied, "but there's more agents around than just Tim."

"I am well aware," Morrow said and then sighed once more. "You never cease to surprise me."

"Keeps you on your toes, Director."

Morrow just nodded and then quirked a grin, so Gibbs took that moment to get up and reach out his hand.

"Thanks," he more mumbled than actually said when Morrow shook his hand. "And why in the world does Jenny Shepard call you?"

"You've got to make sure you're not forgotten when you want to become director sometime in the future, Jethro."

"Heaven forbid," Gibbs just said and then left the office with a much better feeling than he had entered it.

#

"You sure this is okay?" Tony asked a couple of weeks later when they were standing in the elevator going down towards Abby's lab.

The younger man had been home for two weeks already and Gibbs couldn't help but wish he'd never leave again. He knew that it was nonsense, knew that he was probably having abandonment issues without having a reason to. Tony had been great, they were doing great and he couldn't imagine how it could possibly get any better. Through it all, Tony seemed happy, genuinely happy about everything they did and Gibbs felt himself settle in the craziness that was Tony's life. There were still paparazzi everywhere, though they hadn't dared to go back to Gibbs' house and not only once had Gibbs wondered what exactly Fornell had threatened them with. It was fine though. He'd take them if it mean having Tony there right next to him.

"Yeah, why shouldn't it be?"

"You're at work. Don't want to interrupt."

"You never do. Besides, I'd tell you if you were a distraction."

"Oh, I always am," Tony grinned and then flashed his famous – yet fake – smile.

"Shut it, DiNozzo," Gibbs shot back as they were about to enter the lab.

He held Tony back though when he caught the tail of Abby and Kate's conversation.

"Why do you still have this up?" Kate asked, pointing towards a poster of one of Tony's movies that was hanging on the wall.

"Why wouldn't I?"

"Isn't it weird now that he's kind of your friend and you're dating his best friend?"

Gibbs raised an eyebrow at the last piece of information but Tony just shrugged, indicating that he hadn't known either.

"No. I still like his movies."

"I still think it's strange," Kate shrugged and it was obvious that she didn't want to talk about it anymore, but Abby apparently didn't think so.

"I think it's hinky that you think it's weird. Why are you so bitchy about him?"

"I'm not _bitchy_."

"Obviously," Tony whispered.

"You are and you know it," Abby retorted and then Gibbs could see Kate visibly slump her shoulders as if all denial had just suddenly left her.

"I am, aren't I?"

"Yeah, you kind of are," Abby said, patting her shoulder. "Why's that?"

"I can't tell you, it'll sound stupid."

"I'm sure it won't. Just tell me."

"It's just so weird that Gibbs of all people is dating him."

"Why? You got a problem with the gay thing?"

"No, not really," Kate shook her head. "It's just… I used to fantasize about the guy and then… I mean, first we find out that he's gay and then that he's actually dating Gibbs. It's just so weird."

Having heard enough, Gibbs tugged at Tony's sleeve and they retreated before they could be made out. Once inside the elevator, Tony suddenly started to giggle. It seemed like all nervous energy he had presented before suddenly welled over and he just couldn't hold it within him anymore.

"And all this ti…," Tony pressed out between two fits of laughter just when Gibbs had stopped the elevator because he didn't want people to wonder what in the world was so funny that it had Tony DiNozzo in stitches – especially when he didn't even know himself.

"And all this time," Tony tried again. "I thought that she was jealous of me. All this time I thought she had a crush on you."

"What?" Gibbs asked, letting out a bark of a laugh. "Why would you think that?"

"I've got no idea. It was just… she always looks at you like you're a god or something. I would have never thought she had a crush on me."

"Well," Gibbs finally said, not really knowing what to say but decided that he didn't really need to address it anyway. "At least this is finally settled. She'll get over it. I'm just glad I don't have to kill her for being too catholic and having a problem with the gay thing."

"Yeah," Tony hiccupped. "Maybe she just needs to get laid."

#

Gibbs could hear Tony groan and he felt his arousal heighten even though he hadn't thought it could even be possible. They were standing in Tony's spacious shower and Tony's hands were up against the wall in front of him, while Gibbs was pressing slowly into him from behind.

They've had sex a lot of times since the first time in Vancouver but it was the first time that Gibbs was the one on top. He hadn't even felt the need to – and that had surprised himself more than anyone else – but Tony had practically begged him only five minutes ago as if his whole being was depending on it. So Gibbs had complied, had tried to be gentle but Tony was having none of it.

"Rough," he had whispered. "And fast," he had added in an afterthought when Gibbs had already pushed a finger inside of him.

He had taken Tony's words by heart and had made short work of stretching and opening him up. It was only when he had slowly slid inside the other man that he realized that had been missing out.

God, Tony was so tight and hot and god, so good.

Gibbs now sped up, feeling Tony press back into him. The younger man let out another needy groan, so one of Gibbs' hands that had rested on the other man's hips came around his body towards his cock, squeezing it hard and then stroking it in rhythm with his own thrusts. Gibbs felt his own coherent thoughts fade away as he concentrated on getting Tony off as fast as he could. He hadn't even felt himself adjust a bit to the other man's stance but then Tony cried out almost feverishly.

"Right there, right there. God, Jethro."

It didn't take long before Gibbs felt himself losing control and he did his best to hang on long enough for Tony to come first. And when he did, it was almost violently as if something inside had just exploded at his mere touch. Feeling Tony come around him, Gibbs couldn't help himself. He came inside the other man just as violently, just as satisfyingly, just as fast, spreading his cum inside Tony with a loud moan and a whispered "I love you."

"Wh-What?" he heard Tony ask as if from far away and it was only now that he realized what he had just said.

Now that he had said it out loud though, he knew that it was true. He didn't even try to cover it up because Tony deserved to know – and hell, Gibbs didn't care that he might have said it too early – it was just how he felt. He loved the guy.

"I love you," he repeated as he slid out of Tony so that the other man could turn around to look at him.

Gibbs could see the drops of water on the other man's long eyelashes, could see the green in his eyes glisten.

"You don't need to say anything," Gibbs continued but was cut off when Tony just shook his head and gave him a deep kiss.

"I love you, too."

And just like that, the last shred of doubt, the last shred of insecurity was gone.

#

 _ **Somewhere along the line**_

It was so goddamn bright.

The lights were blinding and for a moment Gibbs thought that he'd get blind from all the flash lights in front of him.

 _He hated it._

He felt Tony move next to him more than he actually saw it and then felt him take his hand. Gibbs turned to look at him and saw him smile. A real smile, the one he only reserved for Jethro, and the older man immediately knew that he'd made the right decision to join Tony for the ceremony.

"Just smile," Tony leaned in and whispered into his ear. "Just smile. They just want to see the most handsome man here smile once."

"You're an idiot," Gibbs gave back as he turned towards the photographers once more.

He didn't smile – he simply didn't know what for.

It didn't take long before Tony was dragged away to give a couple of interviews, so Gibbs just waited for him a little away from all the crazies. He knew that he'd made the right decision to come to LA with Tony for this. The younger man had never asked to join him for anything job related before but it wasn't often that one was nominated for an Oscar – even Gibbs knew that – so he had actually asked Tony to tag along. He'd never forget the smile on the other man's face. At that moment it had been just as blinding as the flashlights only minutes before and it had been all Gibbs had needed to know that he'd done the right thing for once.

Even when the ceremony was already in full swing, his glance would always stray towards the man next to him who was so enthralled by what was happening on stage that Gibbs wondered if he'd even notice if the older man would just leave. One squeeze of the hand that lay in the other man's though, told him that he was wanted there.

And damn it, Gibbs wanted to be there, too.

As much as he hated all of it, the ceremony, the pretentious assholes and the press, as much did he love it because – and it really was as simple as that – Tony loved it.

Gibbs couldn't help but realize that he was one lucky bastard. He simply loved the man next to him and he was sure that Tony felt exactly the same way. And Gibbs, screwed up inside as he was, had actually managed to find it again: love.

A love that some people never found – and he, Leroy Jethro Gibbs, had managed to find it for a second time. And if that wasn't lucky, he didn't know what was.

And then he realized another thing: he was smiling.

He was smiling at Tony. When the younger man turned to look at him, he tilted his head, his eyes smiling even before his lips followed suit. And he was still looking at Gibbs when his name was called out into crowd. And he was still staring at him when someone clapped on his shoulders from behind and only then did it register with Gibbs that Tony had actually done it. He'd won it. Tony let out a laugh and then quickly leaned in to give him a kiss before he got up to get on stage and Gibbs suddenly realized another thing.

He'd won it, too. Not the Oscar but Tony – and that one was far more important.


End file.
